Anyone who’s had to organise and pay for a wedding knows that every extra guest is another dent in your budget. But can you afford to be choosy about which members of your family you do and don’t invite?
A mum has taken to Mumsnet to ask if she’s being unreasonable for feeling upset that her brother has uninvited her kids, aged 10, from his wedding, even though they’d originally made the guest list.
The groom has no children of his own and the mum says there aren’t any other children in the immediate family – so the NFI (not formally invited) does feel personal.
“I know it’s their wedding, they can invite who they like, but I feel really sad that my kids will miss the wedding of the uncle they idolise and they will be so disappointed that they now can’t come,” she writes in the post.
It’s the kids’ first wedding invite, she adds, before asking other parents whether they’d be upset – or just accept the decision had been made. Many parents responded that the behaviour was unfair.
“It’s shit of them to invite them, then un-invite them,” writes one. “Tell your brother he has to explain it to them himself.” Another says: “Uninviting them is just shockingly rude. I don’t know anyone who has had a child-free wedding if they had close children (e.g. nephews, nieces) in the family. Horrible to exclude close family members because they happen to be under the age of 18.”
Another writes: “I really wouldn’t go. It’s not just you, it’s unbelievably shit of your brother to treat your children like that. You wouldn’t do that to an adult so don’t do it to a child. So money comes before people. Tell him to shove his wedding.”
Other parents were more sympathetic to the bride and groom, writing: “It’s disappointing but I think your brother and his fiancée are under a huge amount of stress so I think you should try to be understanding about the...