Katherine Ryan: ‘We have sex more than twice a month now – we still really fancy each other’

Katherine and her husband, Bobby Kootstra
Katherine Ryan and her husband, Bobby Kootstra - Jeff Spicer

How do famous names spend their precious downtime? In our weekly My Saturday column, celebrities reveal their weekend virtues and vices. This week: Katherine Ryan

6am

I wake up at the foot of my children’s bed like a dog. I co-sleep with my two-and-a-half-year-old Fred and my one-year-old Fenna, who share a room. I’m waking up between three and seven times throughout the night but we get by.

6.15am

The morning runs like clockwork. After getting my three dogs out of their bed and my daughter on the potty, I’m drinking my Lavazza-brewed coffee. Potty-training Fenna motivates me in the morning. I know it can be difficult for some, but I feel strongly that starting before they’re one is the right thing to do. It helps children with their autonomy and their communication skills. I’m not afraid of being controversial in my opinions. I think I’m impervious to criticism. I’ve accepted I can’t control whether people like me or not.

7.30am

Fred is up and I feed the kids breakfast and the dogs have treats. We read books, play with toys and then I raid the fridge. I eat dinner for breakfast – green curry, chorizo, cheese wrapped around turkey with a bit of mustard in the middle – and I eat loads of it. My meals are back to front because breast-feeding makes me so hungry.

9am

We’re all out of the house and head to High Barnet high street. My daughter Violet [14, from a previous relationship] has a personal trainer. I think it’s a healthy routine for a young woman and for mental health. I don’t exercise but I feel like my day has a lot of cardio woven into it, the kids like being tossed around.

Katherine with her daughter Violet
Katherine with her daughter Violet - Alan Chapman/Dave Benett/WireImage

9.30am

Our routine starts with feeding the ducks, then shopping at a Turkish family-run grocery store, perhaps a book shop and a dirty chai latte with oat milk from Nkora coffee shop. And then our favourite thing – soft play. I was even there on Christmas Day.

12pm

Home to feed the kids. We eat a lot of bananas and avocados. I try to avoid refined sugar, but with each child, I’ve become more permissive. Nothing gets in the way of Fred and raspberry cake.

2pm

Nap with Fenna. I feel it’s unacceptable to nap on your own, away from all the children, but sleeping with child is allowed. I’m always tired. Parenting definitely impacts your relationship. [Ryan recently admitted to a Sunday newspaper to having sex twice a month.]

That number has gone up a bit as the kids have got older. I do think it’s important. Luckily my husband Bobby [Kootstra, 40] and I haven’t been married that long and we still really fancy each other. But in reality, working parents who have small children are so knackered by nighttime, intimacy is just off the table. We have to find stolen moments in the day like before heading to work or during a nap, which isn’t always very alluring.

3.30pm

Afternoons are unstructured – we see friends, go to the pub or the park.

4pm

If I’m on tour, I leave the house in a tracksuit with wet hair and no make-up on to drive with my tour manager Annie to a venue. I can’t do my glam at home because the kids melt down. I’m traditional when it comes to show business. People have purchased tickets and come to see me so I should definitely be the best dressed person in the room. It’s the same for TV.

I’m in a new TV comedy gameshow Out of Order [on Comedy Central] with host Rosie Jones and the other team captain Judi Love, who are not only great fun but they have great style. Before women arrived at the forefront of comedy, I’m not sure boys bothered that much – with the exception of Jimmy Carr who is very glamorous. They just had a couple of suits and you’d be lucky if they were clean. Women comedians have really elevated fashion in comedy.

5pm

If all the family are home, Bobby cooks. He follows recipes whereas I make it up so he fired me from the kitchen. He’s great. He’ll make anything from bolognese to pad thai.

6.30pm

It’s bath and bed time for Fenna and Fred. I don’t have much time for reading unless it’s by Julia Donaldson.

8pm

I watch True Detective: Night Country with Bobby if Violet is out with her friends, or we loved The Traitors if we’re together. I feel it’s so important for our marriage that we watch a series together because there’s very little to look forward to in the evening.

10.30pm

Bed. We don’t push it. I mean, we’re not stupid. I actually wish I could go to bed earlier.

Interview by Louise Burke