Justin Bieber reflects on 'really tough' first year of marriage

·2-min read

Justin Bieber struggled through his first year of marriage to model Hailey Bieber because he couldn't let go of his trust issues.

The Sorry hitmaker tied the knot with Hailey in a New York City courthouse in September 2018, just two months after they became engaged while on vacation.

However, life as newlyweds didn't go quite as smoothly as they had hoped, as Justin's past mental health problems, relating to the pressures of life in the spotlight, caused him to walk "on eggshells" around Hailey.

"The first year of marriage was really tough because there was a lot going back to the trauma. There was just a lack of trust," he confessed in the May 2021 issue of GQ magazine. "There was (sic) all these things that you don't want to admit to the person that you're with, because it's scary. You don't want to scare them off by saying, 'I'm scared.'"

Yet, the singer credited Hailey's unwavering support and his faith in God with helping to pull the couple through the rough time, and now, the stars are enjoying "building these memories" and strengthening their bond before "eventually" having children.

"It's beautiful that we have that to look forward to," Justin smiled. "Before, I didn't have that to look forward to in my life. My home life was unstable. I didn't have a significant other. I didn't have someone to love. I didn't have someone to pour into."

And it was the lack of a supportive partner at the time that led the star to turn to drugs to cope with his mental health woes, which hit rock bottom in 2017.

"There was a sense of still yearning for more," he mused. "It was like I had all this success and it was still like: I'm still sad, and I'm still in pain... And so, for me, the drugs were a numbing agent to just continue to get through."

Elsewhere in the chat, the superstar revealed that his substance abuse became so bad at one point that members of his security team would sneak into his bedroom at night to check he was still alive.

"I just lost control of my vision for my career," Justin shared.

Now, by opening up about his dark times, the singer hopes to help others who may also be struggling, and after making peace with his own troubled youth, he finally feels free.

"I have a wife who I adore, who I feel comforted by. I feel safe," the 27-year-old declared.