The Jump, week 3 talking points: Robbie Fowler becomes the latest soar loser
The Jump has delivered its latest soar loser with the elimination of footballer Robbie Fowler.
The chipper Liverpool great was disqualified after failing to achieve a minimum distance in his qualification leap.
Red of cheek and hollow of gaze he plopped apologetically off the launch-pad and landed face-down. His dignity had taken a hit - along with most of his upper torso.
With the other bottom-placed hopefuls later staying successfully airborne it was red card time for the likeable Fowler, who revealed he'd fancied himself to reach the final.
A further talking point was the presence of Bradley Wiggins. The Olympic cyclist cried off last week with the perfectly reasonable excuse that he'd shattered his leg. Yet here he was walking around (and, yes, being grumpy) and itching to get stuck into the skeleton event.
"I'm confused. I thought The Jump was live and I thought Bradley Wiggins had broken his leg," Tweeted one baffled viewer.
Accidents and injuries on The Jump
The mystery was easily solved: episode three had been filmed prior to part two, a point Wiggins had himself revealed in a Tweet earlier in the week. Here is the rest of what we learned.
Robbie Fowler was top of the flops
It was anything but all white on the night for the amiable Scouser. He soared into the rejects’ bin, joining the already sent-packing Josie Gibson and Mark Dolan.
Fowler had visibly struggled with the skeleton. "It was a big tumble but it's not put me off," he said after an early mishap, looking and sounding extremely put off.
In the jump-off meanwhile, he appeared to panic at the last and mistimed his leap (insert obligatory “you’ll never ski alone” gag).
Sports stars have dominated this year’s event – but with Fowler and Wiggins by the wayside, might the celebs have a chance after all?
But what was Bradley Wiggins doing here?
The gold-medal hoovering cyclist – and custodian of the series's most unnerving facial hair– announced his forced departure last week. But thanks to the magic of pre-recording we were treated to his earlier skeleton face-off against Louis Smith.
With the curvaceous course bearing a (faint) resemblance to his beloved velodrome Wiggins was in his element whooshing around at full pelt and defeating the previously unbeatable Smith.
"That is the happiest we've seen Bradley all series," enthused presenter Davina McCall."I'm going home tomorrow so don't worry," came the deadpan response.
Does Davina McCall need to become Davina McCool?
How strange that the usually calm and assured queen of reality banter should come across hot and bothered half way up a sub-zero mountain.
Yet there’s no getting away from the fact that McCall – so relaxed and empathic when fronting one of Channel 4’s family reunion blubfests – has been distractingly over the top on this season of The Jump.
Last week, she had inflicted lasting physiological trauma on viewers with her – and here I must reach for the precise technical terminology – “booty shaking” dance-off with Josie Gibson.
Tonight, she was no less wound up. McCall jabbered like an overheated Duracell Bunny during her back-and-forth with the low-wattage Wiggins. And she looked set to leap out of her skin in her exchange with (the admittedly terrifying) Caprice Bourret.
With a smile stretched slightly too far and the jitteriness that put you completely off your cocoa, McCall had the body language of a party host trying to convince a room of bored guests they were having the time of their lives.
Take a deep breath Davina – it’s only a silly reality TV show. No need to get too worked up – after all, a majority of the contestants don’t seem that bothered.
Let the mind games begin
Finally a bit of proper psychological warfare as rugby ace Jason Robinson tried to get inside the head of Robbie Fowler.
"Football is a soft sport," said Robinson. "It's always the little fellas," shot back Fowler. By reality television standards, this was tame stuff – but nonetheless represented welcome relief from the wall-to-wall matey-ness.
The blizzard of innuendos continued
The Jump is perfect entertainment for anyone who regards zingers about “taking the piste” as 24-carat comedy gold.
This week, McCall remained unable to help herself, with a quip about an Austrian barman letting everything "pop out" (he was wearing comedy glasses with springy eye-balls ).
She followed up with a complicated gag involving clenched buttocks and a missing pen. A diagram would have helped, Davina.
The skeleton was the season’s most terrifying event yet
This week’s episode had promised to be a proper bone-rattler as the competitors tackled the skeleton – or, referred to by its official name, the tea-tray ride from hell.
In the name of quality family entertainment, celebs were required to descend a bendy culvert at nauseating speeds plonked on the aforementioned miniaturised sleigh.
Say what you like about The Jump’s flaws who could deny the thrill of watching obscure royals and TOWIE escapees speeding through a tunnel head first?
It was I'm a Celebrity... meets The Hunger Games with a sprinkling of a Roger Moore-era James Bond ski chase. Taekwondo champ Jade Jones, in particular, looked thrilled to have claimed the coveted golden cowbell first prize.
There was another injury
As is traditional, the Jump has been a crash-bang-wallop affair this year. Vogue Williams cried off before even appearing on screen, Bradley Wiggins-and-Bradley-Wiggins’-terrifying-beard were out of the running following a leg break.
Now it was the turn of actress/model Amy Willerton who suffered a nasty bounce going down the skeleton pipe ( ironically she was a last-minute replacement for Williams).
"I had to spend 24 hours afterwards processing what happened," she said, though she recovered her nerve sufficiently to give Spencer Matthews a decent run in their head-to-head.
Also spooked by the skeleton was Emma Parker Bowles, whose practice runs were deemed so wobbly she was prohibited from continuing on health and safety grounds.
Gareth Thomas was the week's surprise softie
"Just let me go – let me f***ing go," said the rugby bruiser as he confronted his deepest fear. No, not being forced to make small talk with the bonkers Caprice. As a life-long sufferer of claustrophobia he found the restricted confines of the skeleton course chilling (the airtight helmet didn't help).
"Would you listen to those noises," gasped commentator Barry Davies as Thomas slalomed down the tunnel, grumbling as he slid. "He'll be glad when this is over". Back in studio, Thomas actually looked as if he'd quite enjoyed himself – existential terror and all.
Meet the contestants risking life and limb for The Jump 2017
