Jools Oliver has revealed that she suffered a miscarriage during lockdown, while opening up about the topic on the latest instalment of the Made By Mammas podcast, released on Tuesday (14 July).
When asked about wanting a sixth child – she and husband Jamie share five children – Jools told hosts Zoe Hardman and Georgia Dayton that, since the birth of her youngest son River in 2016, she's sadly suffered three miscarriages. She added that the most recent happened during lockdown.
"I really do, I really do," she replied. "But I've just had three miscarriages since then and a recent one three weeks ago and I'm thinking: 'No'. I don't know. I do want to, but I've got to mentally check that it's a good idea to do. And also physically because I am 45 as I always say, nearly 46. So it's a little bit dodgy."
She continued: "I haven't got long, maybe another year, and then I really will just shut that chapter off because I am very happy and I am pretty full up at the moment as it is. But just that little baby, it's a terrible thing to keep wanting something and you can't help it," she explained
Jools also told the hosts that she experienced two miscarriages prior to River's birth, and spoke candidly about the toll it has taken.
"I went to see the doctor the other day and he said, 'How are you mentally?' and I thought about it and I went, 'Well, this is the fifth one now.' I had two before River, and they've been early ones, the last two have been at 6 ½ weeks, so I just feel... I'm really good at going, 'Right, I'm pregnant but it won’t work so I'm just going to carry on,' whilst everyone gets really into it and I have really learnt to not," she said.
A post shared by Jools Oliver (@joolsoliver) on Jul 14, 2017 at 2:01pm PDT
Saying how grateful and lucky she is to have her five children, Jools spoke about how much harder it would be to have gone through this experience if she hadn't already had children.
"I feel okay because I also feel so lucky," she said. "I mean, if I was trying for number one I don't know how women do it, and keep doing it. I just think they're so incredible. And I think I would keep doing it, but I just feel like, 'Actually I have got five, so shut up', and you know... On to the school run. It is hard."
She continued: "I'm sure it affects you mentally; I'm sure maybe down the line I might have to address it but, at the moment, I actually I feel okay about it and I think it's really important to talk about it."
Host Zoe Harman spoke about the general rule of keeping your pregnancy secret during the first trimester, saying: "You have to keep such a secret when you're pregnant; you're not supposed to tell people until you're 12 weeks and then God forbid you have a miscarriage, who do you turn to when you need the support?"
"Exactly," replied Jools. "And you end up just saying it [that you had a miscarriage] anyway. So you spend the whole time being quiet and then you go, 'Oh by the way...'
"I just feel it's better to say it. Otherwise it's this massive thing in your life that you keep quiet from your best friends or your families. It's just weird."
LISTEN HERE To the full Made By Mammas podcast episode with Jools Oliver.
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