Jennette McCurdy opened up about the pressure she felt for her 2022 memoir to be successful.
"I'm Glad My Mom Died" debuted at No. 1 on the New York Times best-seller list.
"If the book had debuted at No. 2, I would have sobbed," McCurdy said.
McCurdy recalled the high expectation for the book on an episode of "Hard Feelings," an original podcast from Lemonada Media, released on Saturday and aptly titled "Pressure."
The writer's comments about her best-selling memoir were spurred by her thinking about pressure in the context of her newly launched podcast.
During the episode, the former actor said that she hoped her memoir would generate buzz from positive early reviews, but was unsure about what to expect from book sales.
Then, she unintentionally got added to an email thread discussing projections and how likely it would be for her book to debut at No. 1 based on presales.
"I had high hopes that it would maybe make the list, but when I saw that email, that there was some expectation or even pressure on it landing in the No. 1 slot, I became fixated on that, obsessed," McCurdy said. "It was all I could think about. I needed that book to become the No. 1 New York Times bestseller."
"I'm Glad My Mom Died," released in August 2022, did claim that top spot on the New York Times nonfiction best-seller list and remained on the list for a whole year.
"I'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but if the book had debuted at No. 2, I would have sobbed," she continued. "I would have felt like a fucking failure. I would have felt so bad. And it's because of that expectation, because of that pressure. That's scary to admit, but that's absolutely the last time I felt this much pressure."
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