Issues You Might Face If You Are In A Haunted House Movie

Have you recently moved into a new house and it already feels like there is something off about the place? Do you often hear creeks and bumps in the middle of the night or pieces of furniture in places they were not before? Do you see dead people?

Well, if you can relate to any of that, it sounds like you might exist in a haunted house movie, but that is no reason to panic just yet. Those kinds of classic horror films actually have the highest survival rate when compared to other spooky subgenres, especially if you can prepare yourself by studying the following scenarios that are likely to happen when you share a living space with the non-living.

You might not have paid much mind to how unusually cheap your new property turned out to be, chalking it up to it being a fixer-upper or maybe just so happy to find such a good deal. Of course, it will quickly become apparent why, just like when the Lutz's discovered their house in the Amityville Horror was a crime scene.

If you chose your new home (or rental) hoping it would be perfect for a new creative endeavor, you also have my condolences because you’re never getting that thing done. The ghosts from Insidious cut deeply into Rene Lambert’s (Rose Byrne) songwriting, for instance, and while Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) technically does finish his novel in 1980’s The Shining, it’s a pretty repetitive read.

Speaking of Poltergeist, was one of the younger members of your family the first to mention something strange going on the house? Kids tend to be more susceptible to paranormal activity, much like six-year-old Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke), who first announces to the Freelings that, “They’re here.”

If your child never mentioned any weird stuff going on, they might not realize they are interacting with a spectral being and even think it’s just another kid who happened to be in the neighborhood. For instance, in the first of the Conjuring movies, young April Perron (Kyla Deaver) became close to a ghost named “Rory.”

If your kids haven’t noticed anything strange, your pets likely have and they already know it’s bad news, which is why it’s a shame they cannot verbalize their warning. Then again, the black Labrador from 1979’s The Amityville Horror, Harry, arose the Lutz’s suspicions pretty effectively by digging at what turned out to be a gateway to Hell until he bled.

There may come a moment, however, when the skeptics feel validated when proof that the haunting might be hoax comes to light. For instance, in the underrated mockumentary, Lake Mungo, teenager Matthew Palmer (Martin Sharpe) fakes evidence of his sister’s ghost and it is discovered that the seemingly possessed Janet Hodgson (Madison Wolfe) is really good at throwing her voice in The Conjuring 2.

If you’re wondering how your child could feel unthreatened by a supernatural being, they probably caught them at playtime. When it comes to manipulating objects, some entities prefer your children’s favorite things, like when the unseen presence from experimental horror flick, Skinamarink, turned a Fisher Price phone into nightmare fuel.

If you’re a person of faith, the entity might use that against you, too, by turning crucifixes in the house into a symbol of evil with a simple flip. In The Conjuring 2, Janet’s room is covered in crosses — all of which are turned upside down before her eyes.

There is no real safe place in your house, but there might be one area where the presence is at its strongest and, in most cases, that will be the part of the house closest to Hell. Case in point: demonic passageways found in a basement in the The Amityville Horror and the found footage thriller favorite, Hell House LLC.

Honestly, in your situation, I’d lose or cover up all your mirrors because they can be a ghost’s most reliable manipulation tool. In addition to another killer scene in Poltergeist when a paranormal researcher checks his reflection and becomes convinced he is pulling his face off, there are entire movies about killer mirrors, like the Mike Flanagan’s underrated thriller, Oculus, or Alexandre Aja’s aptly titled, Mirrors.

Sexuality must be something that can survive death, based on how some entities have expressed certain advances toward the living, such as the spirit who comes on to Ray (Dan Aykroyd) in a dream in the horror-comedy classic, Ghostbusters. On the other hand, seduction can also be another effective manipulation tool, which was certainly the case in The Shining’s bathtub scene.

Obviously, the haunting is going to take a toll on your family, but might be especially daunting on your relationship with your significant other when their behavior takes a concerning turn. This could just be out of a struggle to process trauma, like Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) in Insidious, or a case of psychological manipulation and/or possession, which makes James Brolin’s George Lutz a danger to his family in The Amityville Horror.

Some days you might find yourself witnessing a significant event from the house’s past as if it is happening before your eyes. Some entities — like the ones from The Shining — are powerful enough to create this illusion, either for a simple scare or maybe even to teach you something.

Considering you probably did not look up the house’s history beforehand, it would be a good idea to do that now and see what answers you can find. Beware: you may learn it was a bloody crime scene (The Amityville Horror), housed a satanic sacrifice (Hell House LLC), or was built on top of a cemetery.

In Poltergeist, real estate agent Steve Freeling (Craig T. Nelson) realizes his boss, Mr. Teague (James Karen), only moved the headstones but left the bodies from the cemetery his family’s home was built on top of. If you discover that happened to you, I would certainly empathize with your inevitable resentment toward the housing industry.

If not from your realtor, you might get the information you need about the house from someone next door… but probably at the last minute. It takes several episodes of creator Mike Flanagan’s The Haunting of Hill House before Horace Dudley (Robert Longstreet) shares with Hugh Crain (Henry Thomas) his own unsettling experience with the titular estate.

If you call a professional ghost hunter or demonologist, despite being in the business of scary stuff, they might be a little squeamish when they enter your premises. I suppose I can understand why the medium (Mark Frederichs) from the the first installment of the Paranormal Activity movies decides to leave Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah’s (Micah Sloat) house seconds after entering near the end.

On the other hand, some paranormal researchers are so comfortable with their work that they don’t mind talking about ghosts and all their methods of combating and capturing them to ad nauseam. Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga’s portrayals of Ed and Lorraine Warren are a bit guilty this in the Conjuring movies, but they are not the only ones.

I would like to say that — no matter your beliefs — your best chance might be in calling a member of the clergy, but I don’t even have much hope in that option. Rod Steiger’s Father Delaney failed to help the Lutz Family in The Amityville Horror due to a lack of support from his diocese and the house’s own resistance to his efforts.

There may come a time when it is decided that you should contact the entity directly to work things out amongst yourselves. This can be achieved through holding a seance or with the use of a Ouija Board.

You did not actually try the seance or the Ouija Board, did you? Because as countless films — such as the video call horror favorite, Host, to the aptly titled Ouija movies — will prove, it’s not going to help you one bit.

It is actually possible that the house was never haunted until you entered the premises and the one that is haunted is you. That’s exactly what the Paranormal Activity movies timeline explores in regards to Katie’s history and the reason why the Lamberts can’t escape their demonic tormentors by switching houses in Insidious.

There’s a chance this ghost is not out to get you, but actually could be what saves your life. In one of the best horror movies of the 2000s, What Lies Beneath, Claire Spencer (Michelle Pfeiffer) learns some very startling, but very helpful information from the presence haunting her dream home.

Or, maybe, it is you whom the ghost needs a favor from. In The Changeling — one of Martin Scorsese’s favorite horror movies — John Russell (George C. Scott) works tirelessly to solve the mystery behind the death of the boy haunting his Seattle mansion.

You might want to consider the upsetting possibility that you’re the one who is unwittingly dead and the apparitions you’re seeing are just people you are haunting. There have been a number of horror movies with twist endings like this.

You know what would be even scarier than living in a haunted house? Living in a house that haunts, much like the titular antagonist of 2006’s spooky, but kid-friendly movie, Monster House.

It seems like the obvious solution to your problem would be to just get out of there, but because that would likely hurt you financially, you’re actively looking for other options. That’s probably why the living and deceased members of the Beetlejuice cast were willing to share the house by the end, after getting rid of Michael Keaton’s title character, of course.

There is also the possibility that no amount of money or a strong enough prayer or battering ram will allow you to escape because the house will not let you. It is kind of like how busting open the front door of the abandoned asylum from 2011’s Grave Encounters only led the paranormal investigation show crew into more dark hallways.