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Making decisions can be hard  - Brand New Images
Making decisions can be hard - Brand New Images

Sometimes we dither. Adulthood can feel like losing your mother in the supermarket but for the rest of your life.

There you are looking for a grown-up to make a decision while simultaneously realising that you are the grown-up and you must make the decision. And whatever happens next will be your fault.

Then there are the other, very satisfying times when we decide to be the adult. Not even pretending. We just make the decision and then there we are, coming over all mature. Managing our finances, maybe doing a bit of digital filing, taking our probiotic and just handling ourselves.

Making decisions, we have only just realised, can make what seemed impossible, possible. Just take the two of us as a for instance: Emilie is always in a good mood. It’s not normal. Everyone says so.

Annabel is irritable. She has sharp corners. And she gets disappointed. But now, after reading a particular self-help book, Annabel has decided to be in a good mood. She has decided to be glass-half-full. To expect the best. What’s the worst that can happen? (Obviously don’t answer that.) 

Emilie is rather unsettled by Annabel’s new-found serenity. She keeps glancing nervously at Annabel, thinking she doesn’t notice. She does. She likes it. She enjoys the shock and awe. The decision has been made. And decision-making is just another muscle one has to strengthen.

Here are some other decisions that – heaven knows how – we all make all the time…

Whether to have the difficult conversation

This is hell. Is deciding whether or not to have the difficult conversation actually worse than having the difficult conversation? We are beginning to think it might be. 

Whether to watch another episode

If we agree that most episodes are an hour long, and you’ve already watched two episodes, are you in for another? What if you have three left? Do you watch one more, leaving you a neat two to get busy with tomorrow night? What if you have only two left but you are out for the next couple of nights? You must choose. Choose or die. 

What to have for breakfast… and lunch… and dinner

It’s 6.36am and you are thinking about dinner. So many things to consider. First, what about lunch? Chicken salad probably. But does that rule out a chicken supper? I mean, you really like chicken. And so on, every morning, with this endless hope that you will find the perfect breakfast/lunch/dinner combination that doesn’t involve too much chicken. Even though you really like chicken. 

Whether to wear a coat

By the time you are ready to leave the house you are 1,000C of volcanic intensity. Your hairline is sweaty, your make-up is already sliding down your face and you think, ‘If I even touch a coat I may die.’ Also there’s the train (so hot) and the office (furnace). But by teatime you know you will be cold. Whatever decision you make you will regret. There is a similar choice about tights, which has to take into account the state of your legs. 

The Midults: Funniest columns
The Midults: Funniest columns

Whether to have sex

If you are single, this is a significant decision because you have to find the sex. Where are you, Sex? And you have to go on Tinder, or phone a friend, or… something. If you are in a relationship, then it’s all about timing, energy levels, how much food everyone has eaten (it’s easy to be too full to…). It used to be so simple. (Narrator: It was never simple.) 

Whether to go into therapy

Is it possible that you wriggled for years before going into therapy? You kept doing the same things over and over again (drinking too much, dating unavailable men, compulsively volunteering for everything) and crying and crying until you realised you couldn’t fix it, and neither could the booze, boys or boring dutifulness. Now people ask you how you are and you say, ‘Well, my therapist says,’ and you feel silly. But better. 

themidult.com