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How the lockdown is affecting this bipolar disorder patient

Lockdown
Lockdown

Living with bipolar disorder can be difficult as it is. But when the country goes under lockdown, and you find yourself isolated, things can turn very dark very quickly. IIM Ahmedabad student Dakshesh Verma returned to his hometown Jaipur on the eve of the 21-day national lockdown and found that he would have to recreate his routine all over again. If you, like Dakshesh, are living with a mental health condition, he has these tips on how to deal with it.

1. Make sure to exercise

When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, one of the first things I learnt about my body was that it did not release sufficient amounts of ‘happy hormones’. These hormones – dopamine, endorphin, and serotonin – are called happy hormones because they, well, make you feel happy. When your body isn’t releasing enough of these hormones, you tend to become depressed and feel low. Exercising helps the release of these hormones.

Back in Ahmedabad, I had set a routine that involved running and working out in the mornings. Despite my busy schedule I used to pack in 45 minutes to an hour of some kind of exercise. I got home just before the lockdown began. Because of the lockdown, that schedule went for a toss; I couldn’t go for a run or do any outdoor exercises and I began to get gloomy, even depressed.

Thankfully, I have a house with a terrace so I began going out there and pacing up and down for 45-50 minutes. Then I’d go up and down the stairs for an hour. This routine may not have been close to my regular workout but it helped my body increase dopamine, endorphin, and serotonin. Even on days that I don’t feel like working out, I have to remember that for someone like me, exercising isn’t optional. It’s one of the things that keeps me from becoming gloomy and depressed.

2. Take your medication

While exercising will make you feel good up to a certain point, you cannot completely disregard medication. When your body doesn’t produce enough dopamine, endorphin, and serotonin, you have to keep the medication turned on. There’s just no getting away from that. In conditions as severe as mine, you shouldn’t wean off medication without proper medical advice.

3. Soak in some sun

Sunlight boosts your serotonin levels and that’s why you should be spending as much time in the sun as possible. When you’re in a lockdown this may be difficult but try to make your way to your apartment’s terrace at a time when there’s no one around. Or, if you have the luxury of having a courtyard, like I do, spend some time there. I tend to take my books out into the lawn and study outdoors instead of being cooped up inside the house.

4. Get proper sleep

Several people living with bipolar disorder tend to have hypersomnia, which means we sleep excessively. There were days when I’d sleep for 17 to 18 hours. This would happen if I didn’t stick to my schedule, take medications or workout. And every time I’d wake up, I’d experience increased anxiety. So I’ve started not just setting an alarm to wake up but also to go to bed. This ensures I hit the bed at a time I am supposed to so that I can wake up at an appropriate time.

5. Never take your mental health routine for granted

People adopt different ways to cope with their condition. For me, my therapist has advised me to keep a daily thought diary. This is how it works. If I have a negative thought – say I begin to think that I am a loser – then I write it down in the first column. In the next column, I try to write if there’s any evidence to support that thought (which means, what is it that made me feel that I am a loser).

The following column is where I will write an alternative evidence, which is to say I will jot down a moment when I did something right or achieved something good. Yet another column, is where I will jot down what positive thought did that alternative evidence trigger. And in the final column, I write down alternative emotion, which means how that positive thought associated with alternative evidence made me feel.

This whole exercise helps me wean off negative thoughts and stops me from building negative perceptions about myself.

I also paint mandalas. Mandala therapy is known to be soothing and calm one’s mind. You get books with mandala designs and all you need to do is paint them. You don’t need any water or oil colours, basic sketch pens will do too!

6. Stay in touch with your therapist

I happen to have two – one of them is someone I’ve been consulting for years and who had first diagnosed me with bipolar disorder and the second is a counsellor at IIM who understands the rigour of being in an institute of that calibre. Speaking with them once a week not only helps them spot any issues that I may not be aware of but it also helps me find an outlet with someone who understands my situation.

7. Engage with people

I am an introvert and will do everything to stay away from people. But one of the things I’ve learnt is that it’s important to be in touch with people. You don’t need to share your emotions with everyone but it’s crucial that you remain connected with the outer world. This becomes difficult in a time like this. So make sure you schedule a video call or a just a phone call with your friends and loved ones. Social stimulus is important in a condition like this.

8. Do something productive

This could mean different things for different people. For me, it is preparing for the next semester. And so, in the middle of doing all of the above, I take out my books for the upcoming semester and study in the warm spring sun. It helps me go back to bed with a sense of achievement so I can wake up the next morning and start all over.