Holly Willoughby and Gwyneth Paltrow talk finding confidence in your 40s
Gwyneth Paltrow and Holly Willoughby have been opening up about finding confidence as you age.
The actor turned wellness entrepreneur spoke to the This Morning presenter in the latest episode of Willoughby's Wylde Moon podcast, with the duo discussing various topics including fame, motherhood, sex and success.
During a chat about some of the life lessons Paltrow, 49, has learnt during her own journey, Willoughby , 41, confessed she'd been trying to work on her own self-confidence recently.
"In my own personal life, I feel like the last few years I’ve been on a journey," she said. "I feel like I'm learning to trust in my instincts a lot more and I'm definitely becoming more confident in using my own voice."
She went on to say she's also trying to work on "truly believing that I'm good enough, not just saying it but actually really feeling it".
Read more: Holly Willoughby suffered from impostor syndrome – how to overcome it
In response to being asked about her own confidence breakthroughs Paltrow revealed that it was in her 40s that something switched for her.
After confirming Willoughby's age, Paltrow validated the host’s feelings and said: "That’s about the time when it starts happening.
"Hopefully the change I see in my daughter, that glimmer of hope that that generation is going to be different, but women culturally we’re not raised to listen to our instincts and our voice and sometimes it’s a real pain in the ass.
"When I turned 40 I felt like I got a software upgrade and I was like, 'Oh, I kind of don’t give a f**k what anyone thinks about me. This is kind of refreshing'."
The Iron Man star went on to say she found she learnt that saying what she means was vital in that journey to confidence.
"If I say what I mean I actually feel better all day because I'm not out of integrity with myself," she says, adding that brushing things under the carpet had the opposite effect.
"When we're true to ourselves, we listen to ourselves and our instincts, it all starts to open up."
Paltrow noted that she’ll be turning 50 in September and feels "more myself than I’ve ever felt" as she approaches the milestone.
Willoughby agreed it is important to try to find your true self as you age: "It’s actually impossible for me not to be myself now. It absolutely terrified me at the beginning because I’m a massive people-pleaser and the last thing I want, I don’t want to offend or upset somebody.
"I’ve been waiting to get to know me."
Watch: Holly Willoughby laughs as she discusses sleep benefits of self-pleasure
Earlier in the discussion Paltrow revealed that while she would describe herself as a "measured person" she wasn't always like that.
"I think I've done a lot of work to become that way and not be reactive, but when I was a teenager I was pretty spicy. I was full of this unbridled energy. I was a risk taker. I was definitely not the way I am now. I definitely had a punk rock streak that I've managed to taper over the years."
While she says she misses aspects of her younger self, she prefers the present-day Paltrow.
"There was a kind of stupidity slash fearlessness that's actually kind of amazing that I think young people have. So sometimes I miss that but I actually really prefer this incarnation of myself more."
Read more: Holly Willoughby giggles over sleep benefits of self-pleasure on 'This Morning'
Elsewhere in the chat, the duo discussed motherhood, both admitting to having to adapt their parenting as their children get older.
"Right now I'm entering this new phase of being a mother of teenagers," Paltrow admitted, before confirming that her son Moses is soon to turn 16, while daughter Apple will be 18.
"So I'm starting to enter this realm of 'wow, how am I supposed to be a parent to like an adult person? It's very different to when they're little.
"I think I'm always trying to be really conscious of the emerging phases of their lives because you can get really comfortable parenting in one way and then all of a sudden its not as relevant if you have a 16-year-old boy."
Willoughby agreed admitting: "So you have to evolve and adapt and try and somehow keep up."
The wellness entrepreneurs also chatted about sex with Willoughby praising Paltrow's recent Netflix series, Love, Sex and Goop, for opening up the conversation around sex and pleasure, particularly female pleasure.
"We're all a bit taboo about it these days, I think here in Britain especially we're known as being a bit stiff upper lip and don't like these conversations. But I do feel like we are getting better," Willoughby said.
Paltrow agreed things were improving and she's proud of any role Goop may have played in that: "We're getting better because we're having the conversations," she said. "Goop was credited with making it palatable and not something gross and prurient and shameful and I'm so proud of that.
"Sexual wellness is a super, super important part of overall wellness and we do tend to put shame around our sexuality and it's important to have a relationship with that part of ourselves that we hold shame in to release it and to feel good."
Paltrow added that there is nothing wrong with it, but we have been "socialised to think there is for a long time."
Read more: Gwyneth Paltrow says her current 'drink status' is one drink per week
Willoughby and Paltrow have plenty in common with both the founders of women’s lifestyle brands Wylde Moon and Goop respectively.
Willoughby has described Wylde Moon as an online space to empower women, explore crystal energies and offer fashion and beauty tips.
Explaining her hopes for her new website, she previously said: "I want WYLDE MOON to be a place where I can share the things that I love, the lessons that I've learnt, the things I see and instantly want to share with others.
"I want it to be a place where we can celebrate other people, too, where we can shine a light on them, their brands, their experiences. It’s a celebration of all kinds of beauty.
"WYLDE MOON is the embodiment of me reaching a stage in life where, although I have lots of experience, I still don’t fully know who I am. In a selfish way, I am putting this all together to help me and if I can take anyone else along for the ride at the same time, even better. You’re all welcome. Come on in!”
Like Gwyneth Paltrow's hugely popular Goop lifestyle site, Willoughby's also aims to support other women with advice and affirmation.
