Hilary Duff gets real about the holiday mental load moms face—and shares her go-to hack
Hilary Duff is no stranger to juggling roles. The actress, singer, entrepreneur, and mom of four enthusiastically embraces the holiday season. Still, she’s the first to admit that the mental load moms face this time of year can feel overwhelming.
“One hundred percent, it is all on the mother,” Duff shared in a recent interview with Well+Good. “It’s just this very long, drawn-out process that can steal joy from you during that time of year.”
Related: Mom nails the ‘mental load’ of Christmas cards—because they really are a pain
The “holiday load” is all too real for moms
From holiday shopping to decorating and coordinating festive activities, the pressure to create magic during the holidays often lands squarely on moms’ shoulders. A survey by Today.com found that moms bear the brunt of holiday preparation 97 percent of the time. Duff knows this all too well. “Christmas is a big deal in our house,” she says. “But no matter how you slice it, the holidays are going to be hard for a mom. But isn’t everything hard for us?”
The challenges continue when the holiday decorations are packed away. “After the holidays, there’s planning for spring break, after-school activities, summer camp… It’s a snowball effect,” Duff notes. This relentless cycle of planning, organizing, and caregiving is a hallmark of the mental load mothers carry year-round, amplified during the holiday season when expectations for “perfect” family moments are at an all-time high.
Coping strategies to ease the burden
Finding ways to manage the holiday load is essential for maintaining your sanity, and Duff has honed her strategies to get through the season. She’s been leaning on Meta AI to simplify tasks like creating shopping lists and brainstorming gift ideas for her children. Aside from technology, Duff highlights the need to set realistic expectations for herself and those around her. “Try to acknowledge that everyone’s happiness does not depend on you, and take some of that burden away from yourself,” she advises.
Duff’s morning routine also plays a pivotal role in helping her navigate the holiday hustle. By carving out moments of calm and structure at the start of her day, she sets the tone for tackling her to-do list with less stress. Whether it’s a quiet cup of coffee or a few moments of meditation, these small practices can make a big difference in managing the mental load.
Related: 9 ways mamas can share the mental load this holiday season
The bigger picture
The holiday season is a bittersweet mix of joy and pressure for moms everywhere. While we want to create memorable experiences for our families, it’s essential to prioritize our well-being. Duff’s candid reflections serve as a reminder that it’s okay to ask for help, set boundaries, and focus on what truly matters.
As Duff says, “It’s a labor of love, but it doesn’t have to steal your joy.” This holiday season, let’s permit ourselves to embrace imperfection, share the load, and find moments of peace amidst the chaos.
