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Note: Since publishing, Hilaria Baldwin has confirmed she has suffered a miscarriage.
Hilaria Baldwin is opening up about her difficult pregnancy just days after revealing she suspected she was having a miscarriage.
In an interview with Today, Baldwin told Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie she was “pretty sure” her pregnancy won’t go full term.
“I’m feeling OK,” the 35-year-old author and wellness expert said. “This is something that has not been easy… I think I’m going to have the answer one way or the other. I’m pretty sure this is not going to stick.”
After tying the knot in 2010 to actor Alec Baldwin, the pair welcomed four children together: five-year-old daughter Carmen, 3-year-old Rafael, 2-year-old Leonardo, and 10 month old Romeo.
Baldwin said she first knew something was wrong when the technician got quiet during her regular checkup.
“The silence makes you very nervous,” she said. “And this technician, she just kept being quiet and kept on trying to find the heartbeat. She could find it and she’d listen and hear it, [but it was] very spread apart and slow. She said to me that the heartbeat is not very fast. Then I went in again and in the life of an embryo - days, a week- it’s completely different. And it was the same.”
After weighing her options, Baldwin, who frequently appears on Today, revealed the stress of keeping her pregnancy news a secret would have been too difficult to bear alone.
“It’s a lot to ask of me but for me personally, it’d be harder for me to do it silently,” she explained. “Say I was doing a fitness segment. I would be wearing something different so you could not see that my belly is a little bit bigger than it typically is. I would pretend I wasn’t nauseous and I would pretend I wasn’t tired - and that’s really tiring. Then you put the emotion on top of that of, ‘Hey this isn’t going in a great direction,’ and that’s a lot to bear… Being open for me just allowed me to relieve it a little bit. Secrets are only scary when they’re secrets. Once you let the secret out, it’s not so scary anymore.”
The former yoga-instructor also hoped that by sharing her news publicly, she can help shed some of the shame often associated with miscarriage and infertility.
“I wanted to come out and speak about it because it’s something that so many people deal with,” Baldwin said. “As women, we’re trained to deal with it silently. You’re definitely not supposed to say anything until 12 weeks. And some of that is because people are superstitious or that’s how they feel they’re going to be stronger. And a lot of it, for other people, is fear. And I don’t think that we have to live with such fear.”
Since posting a lengthy message to her more than half a million Instagram followers last week, Baldwin said she has received a tremendous outpouring of support, both online and off.
“Being able to be open and speak to other people...I got great advice,” she said. “This is something I’ve never gone through before. Women came on my Instagram or stopped me on the street and gave me such wisdom. This isn’t about me. This is about all of us.”
Baldwin also shared a message to parents and couples planning a family to be kind to themselves, and remember that parenting is filled with highs and lows.
“We just need to be a little bit more forgiving of ourselves and not just perfectionists because it’s hard enough as it is,” Baldwin said. “When we agree to be parents, we have to accept the good or the bad. Whether our child gets a scraped knee or gets their heart broken when they’re a teenager or gets really sick or, God forbid, something worse. We have to realize it’s not just all diapers and blankets and hair bows. We have to open our hearts and realize that there are bad moments too.”