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I had a baby at 23 weeks - here's what I want other parents to know

Baby Eli was born at 23 weeks and six days  - Lucy Flanagan
Baby Eli was born at 23 weeks and six days - Lucy Flanagan

Every year some 60,000 premature babies are born in the UK, according to charity Bliss. Prematurity, which is when a baby is born before 37 weeks, is the leading cause of newborn mortality. It is also the second biggest cause of deaths under five.

On World Prematurity Day, Lucy Flanagan shares the story of her baby, Eli, who was born after 23 weeks and six days of pregnancy...

When I discovered I was pregnant, in November last year, it was a big surprise, to say the least. I was 22 and had been in a relationship with my partner Shaun, then 24, for two years. We weren’t planning on having children yet and I was taking the Pill. Then again, my Mum was using birth control when she became pregnant with my sister - so perhaps I shouldn't have been surprised.

Shaun and I decided to keep the baby and I had a relatively easy pregnancy. Thankfully, I didn’t suffer from morning sickness and all our scans went well. At the beginning of March, when I was 21 weeks pregnant, we found out we were going to have a boy.

Just over a fortnight later, I woke up on a Saturday morning, in some pain and discomfort. It wasn’t agonising, but I thought it would be a good idea to pop to the hospital for a check-up on my way to work as a child nurse. Not thinking it was anything serious was , I told Shaun I was happy to go on my own and called work to tell them I would be a bit late.

The midwife who examined me said it wasn’t immediately clear what was wrong. I’ve got quite a high pain threshold so, although I asked for some relief, she may not have known how much it hurt. It wasn’t until a doctor arrived that I knew what was happening.

Lucy with baby Eli  - Credit: Shaun Frankland
Lucy with baby Eli Credit: Shaun Frankland

“You’re 5cm dilated,” he said. I was shocked. I was wearing my work uniform and was alone at the hospital. My baby had been growing for just 23 weeks and six days: he wasn’t ready to be born.

A horrible wave of realisation hit me as I realised that, if he wasn’t breathing when he was born, the doctors probably wouldn’t do anything to save him. Twenty-four weeks is the time when babies are seen as "viable" and it is thought they'll be able to survive - hence this is the legal limit for abortion in Britain.

Before this - say for babies born between between 22 and 23 weeks - the guidelines say that 'standard practice should be not to resuscitate'. If he had waited one day longer, my baby would have fallen into the 24 week category, at which point 'normal practice' should be to offer 'full invasive intensive care and support', unless treatment is futile.

There was no signal on the ward, so I asked the nurse to call Shaun.  

“Hi, could you come to the hospital to be with Lucy?” she said to him. Having not actually been told that I was in labour, Shaun dawdled. When he finally arrived at the hospital, about three-and-a-half hours after I had arrived, he was confronted with me trying to push out our baby. Ten minutes later, I gave birth to Eli.

To our relief - and amazement - he was breathing and moving his arms. The staff took him straight off and intubated him to help him breathe.

Eli was just 20cm long when he was born - Credit: Lucy Flanagan
Eli was just 20cm long when he was born Credit: Lucy Flanagan

It was about 25 minutes before I was able to catch a glimpse of my baby boy, who looked quite normal wrapped up in a blanket. It wasn’t until I went to visit him in the intensive care unit, that he had been whisked away to, that I realised how tiny he was.

Lying in an incubator, he didn’t feel like my son. His skin was red raw and you could see all his veins. From head to toe he was about 20cm - around the same length as the Sophie the Giraffe toy we had bought for him. His hands were minute and his head was no bigger than a tennis ball. I didn’t even have a bump to remind me that he had come from inside me.

Shaun and I were terrified - but frozen. When my family arrived, about an hour after his birth, they were devastated. My Mum, Dad and sister all cried. None of us knew if he was going survive and every time we left his side there was the awful feeling that he might be gone when we returned.

The doctors told us our baby had a 30 per cent chance of surviving, adding that if he got an infection or his lungs collapsed it wouldn’t be a good sign. Both those things happened within 24 hours. We thought he wasn’t going to make it and that, if he did, he would be disabled. But we put on a brave face.

When our son was 27-hours-old, the doctors asked us to name him. We wondered if we were doing this just for the sake of it, or whether it would be his name for life. We needed a miracle so we went with something biblical: Eli.

Eli was brought home after four and a half months with an oxygen tank  - Credit: Shaun Frankland
Eli was brought home after four and a half months with an oxygen tank Credit: Shaun Frankland

Even though he would be in the hospital for the next four-and-a-half months, Shaun and I decided to go home - in Frodsham, Chester - the night after he was born. We wanted to be able to get back to normality as soon as possible if anything unspeakable happened.

For the days and weeks that followed, we would spend four or five hours a day with Eli. At the end of every visit we would go home crying. We didn’t know what to say to one another.

Speaking to our families and other parents going through a similar thing offered some comfort. But there were other stresses, too. Shaun had to go back to work after a week so that we could afford to live. And because Eli was born so early, I hadn’t yet applied for maternity support and we had to scrape together all the money we could.

As the weeks turned into months, we slowly started to believe that Eli would come home. We began decorating his room and buying things for him. To keep our spirits up, we also made sure we gave ourselves a break every now and then - treating ourselves to a spa weekend or a nice meal out; to make sure we were strong and relaxed for when Eli came home.

Lucy, Eli and Shaun are now healthy and happy at home - Credit: Lucy Flanagan
Lucy, Eli and Shaun are now healthy and happy at home Credit: Lucy Flanagan

Then, after 128 days that felt like a lifetime, we carried our baby boy out of the hospital’s front doors.

Eli is now seven-and-a-half months old and weighs 11 pounds. He’s doing amazingly. Although he has a hole in his heart, he has met all his milestones, including putting on lots of weight, eating and trying to roll over.

Shaun and I are looking forward to, one day, having another baby. But for now we’ve got little Eli to focus on. Unfortunately, I will have to go back to work in January, when he will only be the equivalent of five months. It would be nice if maternity leave could be altered for premature babies.

Now Eli is home, the months in hospital feel like a distant nightmare. At the time I thought I would never get over it, but now I think it’s quite cool that I was able to watch him develop over those last weeks, as he would have done in the womb. Not many mothers can say that.

As told to Cara McGoogan