Your Guide To Season 3 Of Queer Eye — AKA The Best Season Yet

Elena Nicolaou

Since its premiere last January, Queer Eye has continued to evolve — and season 3, which arrived Friday on Netflix, is proof. Jonathan is almost exclusively wearing heels now, and it is spectacular as it sounds. The Fab Five has a new mascot, a French bulldog named Bruley. Seemingly, Antoni has written an avocado ban into his contrac t.

But when it comes to the fundamentals, the Queer Eye reboot is just as earnest and uplifting as ever. If anything, the show is at its best this season. The Fab Five's goofy a ntics reach new levels of ridiculousness, providing an essential contrast to the emotional deep dives that take place throughout this Kansas City, Missouri-set season.

This season's "heroes," as the episode subjects are called, are all bettered by the Fab Five's shower of compliments and self-improvement advice. It's magic. Once the heroes' beards are trimmed and their snazzy outfits donned, it just so happens that they're all extremely attractive.

It begs the question: Are we all hot, and we just need the Fab Five to come activate us? Here's your guide to the eight wonderful episodes of season 3 of Queer Eye — and which episodes need extra tissues.

Episode 1: "From Hunter to Huntee"

Meet Our Hero: Jody Castellucci is a 49-year-old resident of Amazonia, Missouri – which is fitting, because she's a modern-day Amazon warrior. We would trust Jody as our guide through the zombie apocalypse. She is both a hunter and a forager — the kind of woman who tends an extensive vegetable garden in her backyard and goes hunting for coyotes on a first date. She works as a prison guard in an all-male prison.

Why Was She Nominated? Jody and her second husband, Chris, have been married for ten years. Chris is wild about Jody, but Jody's not as wild about herself. "I want her to feel good about herself again. She needs someone to bring out the best in her," Chris says. Jody's three adult children are also on board for Mission: Make Jody Feel Beautiful.

The "Big Event:" This one's simple. Chris wants to take his wife out on a classy date.

Most Tear-Jerking Moment: Chris's reaction to a sparklier Jody exiting the limo. You can't fake that kind of amazement.

Best Fab Five Antic: Tan emerges wearing Jody’s camouflage negligee.

Episode 2: "Lost Boy"

Meet Our Hero: Joey Greene is a 47-year-old resident of Lawson, Kansas. Joey's just got himself a big promotion. As the new program director at Camp Wildwood Outdoor Education Center (aka sleep-away camp), Joey's is in charge of a lot of counsellors and campers — though his appearance doesn't exactly scream "leadership position."

Why Was He Nominated? Joey has an acute case of Peter Pan Syndrome. He doesn't “get” the need for certain societal conventions, like running water, new clothing, and basic principles of grooming. Joey's boss, who nominated him for Queer Eye, gently calls him a "scruffy looking adult." Joey's impetus to "grow up," at last, is to create a home environment for when his 13-year-old son, Isaac, visits. The Fab Five are helping with Joey's move from an RV to the camp's equally messy cabin (which currently has car seats for chairs).

The Big Event: Joey's going to roast a porchetta for a camp cookout.

Most Tear-Jerking Moments: When Joey's girlfriend of three years stares at a newly clean Joey with awe and says, with restraint, "You look good!"

Best Fab Five Antic: Antoni's dramatic PSA for keeping tomatoes out of the fridge is very on brand. Tan's belted sweatsuit is a close runner-up.

Episode 3: "Jones Bar-B-Que"

Meet Our Heroes: Deborah "Little" Jones and Mary "Shorty" Jones, the co-owners of Jones Bar-B-Que, a famous barbecue joint their father founded. They take great pride in their work and in their ability to keep up with the other BBQ restaurants in the area (most of which operated by men).

Why Were They Nominated? Izora, Deborah's daughter, nominated her mum and aunt as a thank you. They had reopened the restaurant to help put her through college. After that feat, though, they lost themselves in the day-to-day of the unending work. Izora's goals are twofold: She wants Little and Shorty to slow down and take time for themselves, but she also wants to give them the tools to take Jones Bar-B-Que to the next level.

The Big Event: The Jones Sisters are going to unveil a new and improved Jones Bar-B-Que.

Most Tear-Jerking Moment: Arguably, this is the most emotional of all the episodes. We cried watching the Jones sisters give themselves double-takes in mirrors; we cried at the changes made to the restaurant that hopefully ensure Jones Bar-B-Que's continual growth. However, the single most tear-jerking moment is when Mary gets veneers, sees her new smile, and is rendered speechless.

Best Fab Five Antic: Antoni trying to be mature when the sisters refuse to tell him the secret ingredient of Jones Bar-B-Que’s sauce.

Episode 4: "When Robert Met Jamie"

Meet Our Hero: Robert Hitchcock is a nurse at a psychiatric ward. He and his long-time girlfriend, Jamie (also a nurse), have three fantastically-named children together: Audrey, Nova, and Cosmo. Because of his very long beard and luscious hair, his friends compare him to Gimli of Lord of the Rings.

Why Was He Nominated? Robert and Jamie's wedding is soon approaching, and Jamie wants her husband walking down that aisle with confidence. But that'll take work. While his friends and family adore him, Robert is extremely self-deprecating. Robert struggles with abandonment issues after a tough childhood partially spent in abusive foster care homes. As Karamo says, "He needs to be better to himself."

The Big Event: The wedding, silly.

Most Tear-Jerking Moments: Karamo brings Robert to a dance studio. Instead of dancing, he has him write things he likes about himself on the mirror. We should all do this!

Best Fab Five Antic: Jonathan comparing Robert's kid to Honey Boo Boo.

Episode 5: "Black Girl Magic"

Meet Our Hero: Jess Gilbo is a 23-year-old from Lawrence, Kansas. She came out as a lesbian when she was 16-years-old, and she's been on her own ever since. Heartbreakingly, after she was outed against her consent, Jess was disowned by her homophobic adoptive parents. When college became too expensive, Jess dropped out. Now she works at a Greek restaurant.

Why Was She Nominated? Jess's best friend, Carmen, nominated her to be on Queer Eye. Understandably, Jess feels fundamentally rejected after her experience with her adoptive parents. Carmen wants to show her that she's a beloved and essential part of a found family.

The Big Event: Jess is going to host a potluck for her friends.

Most Tear-Jerking Moment: There is a lot of intensity this episode. Toward the beginning, Jess and Bobby have a heart-to-heart over their similar upbringings. Like Jess, Bobby was raised by very religious adoptive parents, and left home after he came out at age 15. "I just feel like maybe family is not something I'm going to have," Jess says. The tears didn't end there — Karamo and Jess's empowering conversation about identity also made us cry, and we only stopped crying after the episode ended.

Best Fab Five Antic: Antoni discovering instant ramen for the first time.

Episode 6: "Elrod and Sons"

Meet Our Hero: Rob Elrod, a 32-year-old from Olathe, Kansas. He balances his job as manager of a restaurant with raising two young sons on his own. Rob's wife, Alison, died of cancer two years prior, not long after their second son, Vincent, was born. He was completely crazy about her.

Why Was He Nominated? Sawnsai, Alison's best friend, nominated Rob to be on the show. Rob is chugging along after the divorce, but not thriving – as Sawnsaid says, he does things for convenience. She wants Rob to live the way Alison would want: Healthily and wholly in the present.

The Big Event: While she was sick, Alison made Rob promise that he would move out of their small house by the time their older son, Davis, started kindergarten. The Fab Five are helping Rob throw a housewarming party in his new home.

Most Tear-Jerking Moment: While touring the gorgeous new house, Bobby unveils his surprise. He's created a memento box inscribed with Alison's handwriting.

Best Fab Five Antic: Jonathan and Rob’s chemistry while staring at the mirror is truly something to behold.

Episode 7: "Sloth to Slay"

Meet Our Hero: The Fab Five meets Thomas on his 21st birthday. He's a college student who works as an IT specialist part time.

Why Was He Nominated? Thomas was once a bubbly and outgoing kid. His older sister, Krissy, remembers the day her brother's disposition changed. Their mother passed away when Thomas was 11-years-old. After that, he retreated into himself. His social life is essentially limited to World of Warcraft. Krissy wants Thomas to break down his walls and build a more robust (and IRL) social network. Experience life, and all that fun stuff.

The Big Event: Krissy is throwing Thomas a 21st birthday blowout at a barcade. The Fab Five have to get Thomas ready for all that socialisation.

Most Tear-Jerking Moments: Thomas realizes how much he's sublimated himself since his mother's death, and literally knocks down the wall that he built out of crates. What can we say? The Karamo exercises are effective this season.

Best Fab Five Antic: Bobby does quite an interesting impression of how he thinks teenagers speak. On a more serious note, after Thomas lets on that he's never been kissed, Jonathan pauses to make clear there is nothing wrong with that. "We don't need a relationship to make us happy," says Jonathan, the patron saint of singles. After watching a full season of The Bachelor revolve around the status of one man's virginity, this was a refreshing interaction.

Episode 8: "Baby on Board"

Meet Our Hero: Tony Blanco, an IT professional at a medical facility. Tony's expecting a daughter with Brianna, his live-in girlfriend. Tony and Bri met while they were both working at Best Buy. They're raising Bri's six-year-old daughter, Kairi, together as well.

Why Was He Nominated? Speaking honestly, Tony's a bit of a mess. His procrastination problem has spiraled out of control. The kitchen is in such a state of disarray that spoons are literally congealed onto plates. Bri wants Tony to help with housework without being asked. More than that, she wants him to take care of himself. She's looking for a partner at a time when she needs it most.

The Big Event: Tony and Bri's daughter is arriving in a week. This is not a "big event" — it's a huge, momentous one. They're getting Tony ready for the baby shower.

Most Tear-Jerking Moment: Call us sentimental, but when the baby is born.

Best Fab Five Antic: The Fab Five have a bonding moment when, at the end of the episode, an unsupervised Tony decides to shave his beard. They collectively gasp when he shaves against the grain and cuts himself.

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