The grown-up guide to… September resolutions
Has anyone else got the September feeling? As that sensation of being suspended in social and professional August aspic starts to dissolve, we sense the bump and grind and threat and buzz of the new term. The new dawn. The new life. Everything will be different, right? Things will shift. A change is coming. Because we have resolved to…
Dance more
In the kitchen, on tables, in hotel corridors, in the living room with old (thanks) friends. Dance while you still have teeth. And any kind of an excuse for a pelvic floor.
Manage our alcohol intake
And find that balance between librarian and lap dancer. It must be possible, non? We also need to manage our coffee intake to find a balance between corpse and fiend.
Deal with the impatience
The impatience for success, for a green light, for the person walking in front of us to get out of the damn way, for the movie to buffer, for the chicken to be carved, for the punchline to be spat out, is poisoning our everyday progression. Impatience ruins virtually everything. Including…
Enjoy the journey
Oh Lord, are we nearly there yet?
Find a hobby
Yes, obviously hobbies are weird. But now we see that we need something to stave off dementia and our social-media addictions, and attempt to lengthen our attention spans. But what? Sorry, what were we saying again?
Go green
We’re talking fewer baths and more showers. Less plastic; more, er, other stuff. As well as trying to remember the bags for life. Hold on, is collecting bags for life actually our hobby now?
Sort out ‘The Chair’
Our hearts are sinking as we write these words. It’s time to deal with the chair in the corner of the bedroom. The dry-cleaning pile. The trousers that need hemming. The shirt with the suspicious stain. The jeans that are not clean but not offensively filthy. The dress with the funny bulge on the zip. The cashmere that should be washed but will be irreversibly compromised.
Ditto ‘the drawer’
Oh God, the drawer. In the kitchen. Or the hall. With the batteries that may or may not be dead. An old Nokia. A disposable camera. Some lire. About 23 of those plastic birthday-candle-holder things. Fuses. Novelty tissues and short pieces of twine that are SHORT and therefore useless.
(Full disclosure: I – Annabel – nearly had a heart attack when Emilie opened her drawer the other day. Emilie’s drawer is particularly stressful. Like that scene in Pulp Fiction with the glowing suitcase. But bad.)
Start saving
But in a meaningful way. This is side- return-extension saving rather than Stella McCartney-coat saving. Grown-up saving. Because we are grown-ups. Apparently.
Get braces
Doesn’t the idea of braces seem like a childhood punishment that is now a treat? We are saying goodbye to the snaggle fang. And hello to Invisalign…
Breathe better
‘Don’t forget to breathe,’ said Jane Fonda in her agonising exercise videos. But we do forget, Jane, we do. We struggle to meditate, to make it to yoga, to stay asleep for more than three hours in a row, to not look at the leaky ceiling and hyperventilate. Will a few deep breaths help?
Find a middle way between frenzy and collapse
We should know better. We are so good at taking care of everyone else. Of everything else. But you know, we know that you should put on your own oxygen mask first. And still… On we frenzy.
