Gigi Hadid was anxious about motherhood during her pregnancy.
The 26-year-old supermodel has 10-month-old daughter Khai with her partner Zayn Malik, 28, and although she loves motherhood, Gigi admitted she had a "good journal" and a "bad journal" to document her ups and downs during pregnancy.
She told Harper's Bazaar: "During my pregnancy, I had one journal that I called my good journal and one journal that I called my bad journal. They weren’t that literal, but one was more for the memories, for Khai. Maybe one day I’ll give her the bad journal just to be real about it.
“Anxieties and days where I felt like, ‘Am I good enough to be a mom?’ I didn’t want to feel guilty about feeling those things or writing those things down. I just liked the separation. I also have sketch pads where I’ll watercolor-sketch, and sometimes I end up writing there too. I write on the back of receipts and keep those in a notebook. I’m not particular about it, and my journals are everywhere around the house. I just pick up whichever one is closest to me and write.”
Meanwhile, Gigi and Zayn spent much of the COVID-19 lockdown with her family, including sister Bella and brother Anwar, at their mother Yolanda Hadid's farm in Pennsylvania and she revealed that Zayn often sides with Yolanda during family arguments.
Gigi said: "This is not to say that I don’t have a heart or Bella doesn’t have a brain, but when dealing with family stuff and world issues, my mom calls me the brain and Bella the heart. My brother is half and half. Whatever the family dinner-table discussion is, Bella will be very emotional and compassionate, and I’m sitting there pulling up charts and infographics, speaking very calmly. My mom is just very Dutch and to the point. And my dad’s a storyteller—a bit goofy, but always connecting it back to, ‘Oh, you’ve heard the old Palestinian saying ...’
"At first Zayn was like, ‘How do I get a word in edgewise?’ But now he is very comfortable. He speaks his mind. When he’s in the middle of a family thing and everyone’s like, ‘Zayn, whose side are you on?’ he’s charming. He’s usually on my mom's side. So he's smart in that sense.”