The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (July 4-10)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips via Twitter from parents to spread the joy.
Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Look, I dropped my 8yo’s Lego plane and had to put it back together exactly how he made it so don’t tell me I don’t know what stress feels like
— MumInBits (@MumInBits) July 9, 2020
Normal day as a parent: Cooking, cleaning, & carpooling
Your birthday as a parent: Cooking, cleaning, carpooling, & cake— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 7, 2020
Sure your own kids are annoying, but have you ever met other people’s kids?
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) July 4, 2020
It's just not a real family road trip until you are all packed and get halfway down the driveway... without one of your children.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) July 7, 2020
have kids so you can fondly remember how quiet your life used to be
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) July 8, 2020
Me: *being lowered into grave*
My kids: Can you take us to McDonald’s?— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 7, 2020
Soooo I decided to cut my son's hair, and he's now innocently walking around not knowing he looks like Joe Exotic.
— Marcy G 🍕 (@BunAndLeggings) July 7, 2020
With amusement parks, zoos, movie theaters and more closed, camping is one of the last family-friendly activities you can safely do. Still, no thanks.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) July 8, 2020
Me, yelling to kids: “Stop YELLING AT EACH OTHER!”
I may be a hypocrite, but I’m a self-aware hypocrite, dammit. And apparently a loud one.— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 9, 2020
My 4 year old just got mad at me for not calling myself the Best Mom in the World, so if you’re looking for a life coach who’ll scream at you until you believe in yourself, have I got a recommendation for you.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) July 9, 2020
Listening to my 9yo talk is exactly like watching an episode of drunk history
— Professional Worrier (@pro_worrier_) July 9, 2020
When your kid asks for waffles and you make them waffles but they cry because they don’t want waffles so you make them cereal and then they scream when you eat their waffles that’s called a 2020
— Vision Bored (@VisionBored1) July 4, 2020
My kids are halfway through the day that they can't use the internet. Sources* say no one has ever suffered this much in the history of the world.
* my kids— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 9, 2020
Optimists see the cup half-full.
Pessimists see the cup half-empty.
Parents of toddlers see the cup spilled all over the floor.— A Bearer Of Dad News ✊🏾 (@HomeWithPeanut) July 9, 2020
I’m gonna need another vacation after my family vacation because a family vacation is no vacation at all
— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) July 10, 2020
6: hey mom why don’t you go sit down and relax
Me: awesome thanks
*2 minutes later*
6: hey mom let’s write down a list of things you need to relax— MotherPlaylist (@MotherPlaylist) June 5, 2020
My daughter asked me what marriage was like and I nodded and said that sounded great. Then she asked me if I was even listening.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) July 7, 2020
One nice thing about working with all women is I had to pump during a 4 hour Zoom call today and everyone was like “Fire up those tits and let’s keep going” I AM PARAPHRASING BUT IT WAS COOL/CHILL.
— Bess Kalb (@bessbell) July 7, 2020
Bored so I’ve decided to convince my 12yo that zebras are just stripy horses.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) July 5, 2020
6-year-old: I'm throwing a party in my room!
Me: Awesome! I'll be right up.
6: Sorry. We're full.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 6, 2020
The kids are not fans of Veruca Salt. They're currently yelling at the Willy Wonka movie "You just can't get everything you want, that's not how it works?!"
— jnyemb (@jnyemb) July 5, 2020
[6 AM]
Child: Can mermaids have a seafood allergy?
Me [rubbing temples]: it’s too early for this— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 6, 2020
Also on HuffPost
'I Am Sorry Ben'
'Don't Tease People About Their Skin Color'
I Need Cash Now
Time For A New Pen
How To Cook A Turkey
Sister In My House
I Made A Blob
Dear So-Called Tooth Fairy
A Math Homework Mystery
You Can Be My NEXT Boyfriend
Can I Do Karaty?
Make It Rain Tacos
Cloudy With A Chance Of Kale
An Opinion Question
Macy's School Hairstyles
Stating The Obvious
Three Sentences That Mean The World
Goals For 3rd Grade
Dear Bill Clinton
One Track, His Mind Is
A Note From The Teacher
If The Shoe Fits...
No Toking
'You Are A Superhero'
For Mommy
Fantasy vs. Reality
An iPad Note For Mom
Snax
"Dear Tooth Fairy..."
Dear Obama
Three Little Words From A Boy With Autism
Happy Father's Day
Dad Is Really Cranky
My Hero
The Daddy Trofy
Love HuffPost? Become a founding member of HuffPost Plus today.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.