Formulaic but fiendishly addictive: Why everyone still loves I’m A Celeb

When I glimpsed a tabloid headline screeching that I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! (ITV) was “in lockdown” due to “a killer on the loose”, I thought for a moment it might be Lord Sugar or Simon Cowell in a murderous rage about their fading reality franchises being thoroughly overshadowed.

Sadly not. A murdered body had been found more than an hour’s journey away from the camp and New South Wales police had advised caution while they launched a manhunt. Oh. So not a furious talent show mogul, then?

It was a rare spanner in the works of this precision-tooled televisual machine. After a fiendishly addictive first week of its 19th (I know, right?) series, I’m A Celebrity has only reinforced its status as the reality show that never goes stale.

Sure, it’s formulaic – same old Queensland backwoods setting, repetitive stunts, teased-out tension, familiar storylines – but reassuringly so. Each autumn, it arrives on ITV for three weeks to lighten the dark November nights, bringing a burst of long-haul sunshine to the schedules and never outstaying its welcome.

Ratings are as solid as Snake Rock, averaging around the 10 million mark for the past decade. In this age of fragmented viewing habits, that’s an achievement worth serious piles of Dingo Dollars. Alongside Strictly Come Dancing, IACGMOOH (as nobody calls it) is the most reliably entertaining reality format on-air.

The X Factor and The Apprentice are on their last legs. Big Brother has already gone to the great archive in the sky. Even our beloved Great British Bake Off is showing signs of fatigue. Yet the celebrity-torturing jungle contest trundles on, consistently compelling and seemingly indestructible.

Its not-so-secret weapons, of course, are co-hosts Ant and Dec. After Ant took a year off in the wake of his drink-driving conviction and stint in rehab, the cheeky Geordie chipmunks are reunited and back where they belong: on a rope-bridge in almost-matching outfits, reminding us why they’re so brilliant at this presenting lark.

Stand-in Holly Willoughby did a decent job last year under difficult circumstances but Messrs McPartlin and Donnelly in free-wheeling, gag-swapping tandem are the real deal. The which-is-which duo’s easy chemistry and twinkling warmth, honed over 30 years on-screen together, makes TV magic. Through hard graft and a lot of practice, they make the job look easy when it’s anything but.

Upon arriving last Sunday they went straight in with an impish gag about Prince Andrew’s inability to sweat. Highlights since include recurring digs at ITV colleague Stephen Mulhern (“He’ll present anything”) and their impressions of contestant Roman Kemp doing impressions of them (Dec whispering camply, Ant barking like a Tyneside seal).

Last night saw an elaborate riff about Boris Johnson, only for them to deliberately sabotage the punchline “due to impartiality guidelines”. They poke fun at Dec’s diminutive stature, Ant’s expansive forehead and their joint past as cheesy popsters PJ and Duncan.

It’s all delightfully daft and just knowing enough. At times they channel Morecambe and Wise; at others, Vic and Bob. Last night’s throwaway sight gag about presenting in split screen was pure Naked Gun. They make each other giggle and the crew guffaw, which is infectious. There’s a reason why they’re the best (and best-paid) in the business.

Meanwhile, ITV has wisely made two production tweaks to reflect the prevailing mood. Firstly, there’s no open campfire in the wake of Australia’s recent ravaging bush fires. Instead the junglists are pumping gas and cooking over a stove.

Secondly, they’ve banned the eating of live bugs during Bushtucker Trials. It’s a small but smart adjustment which makes no discernible difference to the jeopardy – celebrities can be covered in live critters or made to eat already dead ones, so gross-out moments are still guaranteed. Yet at a time when veganism is the fastest-growing lifestyle movement, it makes the series less gratuitously cruel and much more palatable to younger audiences.

I’m A Celebrity is one of those rare shows that unite generations – hence its casting of teen pop types and Kardashian-connected social media stars alongside the usual TV rent-a-faces.

So to this year’s campmates: a well-cast bunch with ample star wattage. Most of this year’s names ring a bell, which you can’t say of most rival shows. And yes, that includes Strictly.

Stereotypical rugger bugger James Haskell thinks he’s an alpha male but is just an pumped-up JP from Fresh Meat. Even more insufferable since being made camp leader, the self-styled “bantersaurus“ showed his true colours last night by snapping at Ant and Dec after losing out in the live trial. That’s like farting in front of the Queen. Orf with his head.

Comedian Andrew Maxwell is being neurotic rather than funny and starting more arguments than Brexit. I suspect that breakfast TV’s Kate Garraway and Radio 1 DJ Adele Roberts will also be among the first to depart. Both are pleasant enough but getting swamped by bigger personalities, while all their talk of meditation and chakras whiffs of Holland & Barrett smugness.

The two late arrivals, Cliff “Fred from Call The Midwife” Parisi and Andy “Kirk from Corrie” Whyment, weren’t really needed and have made minimal impression, so are also cannon fodder for early exits. They do, however, look like Laurel and Hardy in activewear.

Which leaves the leading pack. Myles Stephenson from boyband Rak-Su (me neither) is the sort of nice, well-brought-up boy who tends to do well. He’s also the designated cook, which secures his popularity among the carb-starved celebs. Resident mimic Roman “son of Spandau’s Martin” Kemp is similarly sweet and the wittiest campmate to boot.

Girls Aloud alumnus Nadine Coyle – long rumoured to be the band’s resident diva – is proving surprisingly normal. Well, apart from her bizarre Derry-via-Beverly Hills accent. She won extra respect for her amusing recreation of “Dr” Gillian McKeith's faux-fainting dramatics from the 2010 series.

Megabucks Hollywood signing Caitlyn Jenner is proving worth her reported £500K  fee. The transgender trailblazer’s admirably frank discussions of hormone treatment, reassignment surgery, gender pronouns and the role of social media in trans tolerance have been fascinating without being try-hard or too “woke”.

The fact that these conversations are happening casually on primetime ITV, rather than a more worthy channel, is both refreshing and truly remarkable. Her husky drawl of “Rise and shine, team! Not just another day but another day to excel!” is surely destined to become an alarm ringtone.

Ex-EastEnders actress Jacqueline Jossa is this year’s “on a journey” contestant. She’s arachnophobic (why go on this show, then?), which naturally means that she’s been subjected to spiders at every turn. Trembling and weeping with terror, she’s cracked on, conquered her fears and is turning into quite the heroine.

She’s formed an endearing friendship with former footballer Ian Wright MBE (presumably it’s a contractual obligation that he’s billed as such on the title sequence), who had a quiet start but is now coming to the fore. This pair already look like finalists, despite Wright’s queasy habit of dry-retching and burping during trials. Who needs live bugs anyway? Hic. Bleurgh.

A week in, and I'm A Celeb proves that, though it may be 19 years young, it remains one of the most cynic-defying, warmest, funniest and most uplifting shows on TV.