Firefighters are on the frontlines of the California wildfires. Their families have been waiting — and worrying.

The California fires and the destruction that they’ve caused have been traumatic for Los Angeles residents since the first of multiple wildfires broke out Jan. 7. For Sandy (who requested that we not use her real name), a stay-at-home mother of two currently living in San Diego after residing in L.A. for 17 years, the devastation is all-consuming. She has witnessed her previous communities burn to the ground, housed friends who lost their home and has been trying to protect her young children from seeing the anguish, all while her husband — a captain with the L.A. County Fire Department — is on the frontlines.

“Life has felt so surreal,” she tells Yahoo Life. “I just find myself staring at a wall, you know, just completely numb.”

Although Sandy’s home has not been in danger, the stress of her husband fighting them has been paralyzing. As of Tuesday, she hadn’t seen him in 16 days. “He was working overtime in L.A. the Sunday and Monday [before the fires]. He was on his way home on Tuesday when they called and said, ‘You have to come back,’” she says.

Her husband worked on the frontlines of the Eaton Fire for two days before being sent over to the Palisades Fire. Over two weeks later, those fires are not fully contained. And he has yet to come home.

“The first three days are such a blur for me because they were so stressful,” says Sandy. “I did not sleep because I had to keep the news on the entire time. … I didn't even take my son to school. I just laid in bed and cried.”

The fires are the third major event that Sandy’s husband has worked on, and the last two kept him away from home for just as long. But she says, “This one just feels different.”

Her husband, she says, is “very stoic; if you have this job, you can't get emotionally attached,” she explains. “This is the first time I've seen him get emotional. This is just so devastating. I know [all of the firefighters are] so depressed, they're homesick, they miss their families, they’re exhausted. And I know it’s all taking a really serious toll on them.”

It’s also taking a toll on their families. As many firefighters still work to put out blazes or work overtime to keep their stations staffed, their loved ones are sharing what it’s been like to worry, and wait.

Holding down the fort

Jenny Hutzler’s firefighter husband’s 24-hour shift turned into a 16-day absence due to the California fires. “The thing about being a #FireWife is that you come to expect the unexpected. You never know if they will be called out for a fire, called in for an extra shift, stay late to help out a fellow firefighter, etc.,” Hutzler captioned a photo of her spouse, whose name and department she doesn’t share on social media for safety reasons, after learning about his deployment.

While her husband finally returned home this week, that lengthy separation was harrowing. “The most difficult part about this specific fire was the unpredictability of the winds. It kept me up at night worrying if his team was all right,” she tells Yahoo Life. “It was also hard that their cell service was terrible at times, so I would go 16 to 20 hours with no updates.”

Sandy also says that communication with her husband has been limited. That’s due in part to the firefighters' extraordinarily demanding schedules, but also because of the remoteness of the area in the Palisades where he’s stationed.

The reality of the situation has been difficult for Sandy to grasp and has had a negative impact on her mental health. She's reduced her TV and social media time in an effort to limit her exposure to news of the fires. “I've seen him working on fires and I've seen when he's slept on top of fire engines because they're literally in the middle of a fire,” she says. “But the photos recently are just so troubling and so scary.”

As fire wives and mothers, both Sandy and Hutzler say their main concern has been protecting their children. As such, they don’t watch the news in front of their kids.

“I kept the kids updated with only things I knew for sure directly from my husband. I would show them a few videos or photos that he sent me,” says Hutzler. “We would try to FaceTime with him whenever he had service so they could see that he was OK.”

Daniella Rico, whose husband was on the frontlines of the Eaton Fire, posted a clip to social media from one of the video calls they shared with their son.

“My son watching his dad transform into his very own superhero will forever be one of my favorite memories,” she captioned the video. “To all my fellow first responder wives and families holding down the fort at home, we are praying for you and we admire you. You’re [heroes] too!”

Finding a community

Sandy, who doesn’t post to social media, has leaned on her offline community of family and friends for support. Hutzler, on the other hand, is among those who have taken the opportunity to strengthen their online community of fire spouses and fire families.

“I've tried to use social media to keep friends and family updated, as well as use it for educating people on fire safety. I feel some responsibility to help teach others what I have learned over the years being a fire wife,” she says.

Her posts over the past two weeks have included a guide on speaking to kids about natural disasters and preparedness for wildland fires. And she hasn’t shied away from sharing her fears.

“It’s important to have perspective and empathy for those that deal with difficult sacrifices on a daily basis. And the only way to better understand that is if we share,” says Hutzler.

It’s something that Allexa Morales has been doing for a couple of years, using the hashtag #firewife on Instagram and TikTok to offer glimpses of moments when she’s managing her two children and household in her husband Andrew’s absence. She went viral when she posted a video of the Los Angeles City firefighter returning home for 24 hours after working three days straight on the Sunset Fire.

The sweet moment is the kind of content she likes to share, especially while attempting to maintain normalcy for her 4-year-old daughter and 9-month-old son at home. “It's so difficult. And I honestly don't even know how I'm navigating,” Morales tells Yahoo Life. “I've obviously had some meltdowns.”

Other spouses like Carina Reyna have echoed those feelings in their own content. “I’ve been a fire wife for almost 16 years now and this anxious feeling we get when we know what’s out there never goes away,” she captioned a video that showed her husband’s location at the base of Runyon Canyon where the Sunset Fire broke out, followed by a flurry of news headlines and photos of the fast-moving flames.

Her page is filled with “a day in the life” videos illustrating the ups and downs of the past few weeks, including her husband’s return home on Jan. 17.

Moving forward

While there have been happy homecomings for some L.A.-based firefighters, the reality is that many are still deployed and their stories don’t end when the news coverage or social media interest dies down.

Morales, for one, is grateful that her husband is safe. But she’s also aware of the long-term consequences that these events will have on him and his fellow firefighters, both mentally and physically. “I don’t know where the light is at the end of this tunnel,” she says.

“These fires just feel completely different and much, much harder to recover from [than others],” says Sandy, whose husband has officially hit his longest deployment. “This is something I’ll never forget.”