The film quiz of the year: do you know your celluloid from your cellulite?

  1. Which film was this year criticised for its portrayal of people with autism, with author Clem Bastow saying the lead performance “lands somewhere between a school bully mimicking Meryl Streep’s low register and a dog waking up from dental surgery”?

    1. Rain Main, directed by Barry Levinson

    2. Music, directed by Sia

    3. Nell, directed by Michael Apted

    4. Snow Cake, directed by Marc Evans

  2. When Russell Crowe’s 2003 film Master and Commander was mocked on Twitter as an insomnia cure by Liverpool singer-songwriter Ian McNabb, did Crowe ...

    1. Laugh it off and do nothing?

    2. Contact McNabb and commission him to compose a new soundtrack?

    3. Thoughtfully amend the film’s “critical reception” section on Wikipedia?

    4. Respond directly to McNabb on Twitter and imply he was too immature to appreciate the film?

  3. Which movie, whose star shared his first name, was revealed to have obsessed the then health secretary Matt Hancock as the Covid crisis escalated?

    1. Contagion, in which Matt Damon plays a heroic and quietly sexy everyman who plays a modest yet stirring part in tackling a global pandemic

    2. The House That Jack Built, in which Matt Dillon plays a creepy serial killer

    3. The Spongebob Movie: Sponge on the Run, in which Matt Berry plays the voice of King Poseidon, who uses snail slime to rejuvenate himself

    4. The Harry Hill Movie, in which Matt Lucas plays Harry Hill’s evil twin Otto, who has been raised by alsatians

  4. Which celebrity announced the launch of a new film school designed to help young people who do not enjoy nepotistic connections?

    1. Princess Anne

    2. Gretel Packer

    3. Elisabeth Murdoch

    4. Siobhan Roy

  5. Which film star handed back his Golden Globe awards in protest at the lack of diversity and reform in the Globes’ administrative body, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association?

    1. Joaquin Phoenix

    2. Tom Cruise

    3. Sean Penn

    4. Daniel Day-Lewis

  6. When Timothée Chalamet revealed on Instagram his top-hat-and-purple-jacket costume for playing young Willy Wonka in the planned prequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, stunned observers pointed out he looked like a character from The Muppet Christmas Carol. Was Chalamet a dead ringer for …

    1. The Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens?

    2. Miss Piggy as Emily Cratchit?

    3. Fozzie Bear as Fozziwig?

    4. Robin the Frog as Tiny Tim Cratchit?

  7. In May, it was announced that MGM, the studio that gives us James Bond, is to be bought by an online colossus. Which one?

    1. eBay

    2. Uber

    3. Amazon

    4. Netflix

  8. What was the Cannes Palme d’Or winner prematurely revealed by jury president Spike Lee at the very beginning of this year’s awards ceremony in a bizarre mixup, when he was asked in French to announce the “first prize”, and Lee thought that meant “first place”?

    1. Titane, directed by Julie Ducournau

    2. Bergman’s Island, directed by Mia Hansen-Love

    3. The French Dispatch, directed by Wes Anderson

    4. Flag Day, directed by Sean Penn

  9. Disneyland got an iffy online review for its new Snow White ride, because the “true love’s kiss” that Prince Charming gives the sleeping Snow White is non-consensual. How did Piers Morgan react?

    1. “Well, I disagree, but there’s no real prospect of the Snow White ride being cancelled.”

    2. “There’s no point in me overreacting to a single online review.”

    3. “Leave Snow White alone, you insufferable woke brats!”

    4. “Meghan. Meghan, Meghan, Meghan. Meghan. Oh Meghan, when will you call me?”

  10. The movie Spencer, starring Kristen Stewart as Princess Diana, caused raucous laughter at the Venice film festival during the scene when Diana irritably dismisses her maid so that she can be alone, snapping: "I want to ..." how did the line end?

    1. "... reorganise my CD collection."

    2. "... phone George Michael."

    3. "... masturbate."

    4. "... re-read this FT article about landmines."


1:B - Sia’s film was unfortunate in its representation., 2:D - Crowe stated the film was “definitely an adults movie” and suggested that McNabb was typical of "shallow youth" – he is 60. , 3:A - Hancock loved Contagion for its vision of the vaccine rollout and its inspirational leading man., 4:C - Elisabeth Murdoch’s announcement was thought to mark a further move away from her father, Rupert., 5:B - Tom Cruise’s principled stand emerged as NBC TV announced its own refusal to broadcast next year’s Globes ceremony., 6:A - Now there are demands for Chalamet to star in a Gonzo biopic., 7:C - Amazon’s acquisition of MGM is another grim step towards the corporatisation of Hollywood., 8:A - Julia Ducournau is the first female director to have won the Palme d’Or outright; when Jane Campion won in 1993 for The Piano, she had to share the Palme with Chen Kaige for Farewell My Concubine., 9:C - Piers gave these online reviewers a non-consensual Glasgow kiss, 10:C - Stewart’s portrayal of Princess Diana will almost certainly put her in contention for an Oscar


  1. 10 and above.

    Your trailer is excellent: large, comfortable, with a complete suite of rooms, sound system and on-site physiotherapist. When you are needed on set, the director will text you, and ask if you might want to do your scene now.

  2. 7 and above.

    Your trailer is excellent: large, comfortable, with a complete suite of rooms, sound system and on-site physiotherapist. When you are needed on set, the director will text you, and ask if you might want to do your scene now.

  3. 4 and above.

    Your trailer is merely moderate. There is a chemical toilet. When you are needed on set, the second AD will knock brusquely on your door.

  4. 0 and above.

    Your trailer is tiny. A tiny secondhand caravan with no toilet, which smells of dead rats. When you are needed on set, the second AD will rudely shout four words through your (broken) window, of which the first three are: “Come on you”.