How this fashion editor found her destination wedding dress
In a new series, brides recount how they ended up choosing their wedding gowns. Perhaps the most exciting, but overwhelming, sartorial decision you will make in your life, there is plenty to learn from those who have been through the process – from the pitfalls you must avoid to how you know when you’ve found ‘the one’. This time, Bazaar's senior commerce editor Roberta Schroeder opens up about how she chose her destination-wedding gown.
Like most women, I had a preconception of what wedding-dress shopping was supposed to be like long before I was wearing an engagement ring. There would be fussy bridal-shop sessions, Champagne in hand, and acres of lace and tulle. I’d spend a disproportionate amount of time debating satin shades, waist measurements and heel heights, and in the end, I’d end up with The One.
My reality couldn’t have been further than this well-trodden fairytale. I didn’t make a single bridal appointment, stuff myself into any white taffeta or gather a gaggle of bridesmaids from across the country to gawp at me standing on a pedestal.
Overwhelmed by the whole Big Wedding industrial complex, my partner and I decided to do something that sat somewhere in-between an elopement and a traditional event, heading to Thailand with 25 friends and family members for a beachside ceremony, easy-going dinner and, most importantly, a holiday. Of course, this meant the traditional wedding-dress rulebook went straight out of the window, a tonne of tulle being not only perilous to transport across the globe (I do know a friend who booked an extra seat, just for her dress, on a long-haul flight) but entirely impractical to wear in forty-degree heat.
Instead, my wedding-dress hunt revolved around practicality and ease – two factors that admittedly are at odds with my usual fashion priorities. Our dress code was firmly casual, and my priority was spending time with our loved ones over posing for photos. The One needed to be light, airy, and fluid enough to look right with bare feet, seeing as my aisle was made of sand.
I started by ordering armfuls of satiny slip dresses online, from a range of designers and at a spectrum of price points. The first challenge I found was finding something that still offered smooth lines over lingerie, as going braless wasn’t an option for me. Many were simply too wispy, or too low-cut, to work.
After maybe the twentieth almost-identical slip dress arrived (before being promptly returned) I started to doubt myself: should I start from scratch and start looking at more traditional ‘bridal’ options? Did I, in fact, need to rally my friends and book an appointment? Or perhaps I should throw caution to the weather forecast and choose something from one of my usual go-to designers?
But then came an unassuming Champagne-toned midi dress from Simkhai, which I found in the depths of the Net-a-Porter January sale, (when I was likely the only person looking for such a summery thing). Once it arrived, there was no audible gasp, no teary-eyed maid of honour, no emotional moment, but it ticked every box. The straps were perfectly slender, the neckline precisely cut to sit low while still accommodating a bra, and the ankle-skimming hemline was shredded into ribbons that meant I would be able to stand, sit and move easily, even on the sand. Equally crucial was the material: made from pure silk, it would be as breathable as can be when you’re dealing with such humid climes.
If you too are planning a destination wedding, my best advice would be to ask yourself the following questions when dress shopping: will the silhouette match the setting? Will I be too hot, or perhaps even too cold? Am I sacrificing comfort and ease to a degree I may regret in the moment? If your location is beachside, make Cindy Crawford your muse: nothing looks chicer than the simplest white slip with the ocean as your backdrop.
Compromise is key to keeping your sanity when planning a destination wedding, so try to enjoy relinquishing control. This extends past the dress too: my original planned hairstyle wouldn’t have held up in the humidity, there were no manicurists on the island with a neutral polish to suit me, while the wine I wanted to serve was impossible to source. But no-one, including myself, cared whether my make-up had melted or hair turned frizzy once I was surrounded by my favourite people watching the sunset (and ice-cold margaritas taste better in the heat, anyways).
For me, the toughest part of the dress hunt was finding something that didn’t feel too far from my personal style – had I been at home, I might have opted for something vintage, or perhaps one of Simone Rocha’s voluminous gowns, complete with entirely impractical platforms to lift my 5 ft 2 frame. (I scratched the itch to make a statement with accessories instead, adding a pair of shoulder-skimming gold earrings from The Attico and a bright red lipstick (Mac’s Ruby Woo) for dancing.) But on the beach, a fussier, more capital-F Fashion dress wouldn’t have translated – and come the big day itself, I couldn’t have imagined wearing anything other than my sliver of silk – especially when I inevitably ended up in the pool.
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