Whether you're in a long-term relationship or just starting to date someone new, having sex can be one of the most exciting and intimate parts of a romantic connection. After all, sex feels good, right? Or at least it should. Unfortunately, some studies have shown that in heterosexual relationships, sex is often significantly less pleasurable for women than it is for men. A 2017 study published in the "Archives of Sexual Behavior" reported that 95 percent of heterosexual male participants said they usually orgasm during sex, compared to only 65 percent of heterosexual women. That's a 30 percent gap, which, quite literally, is felt by women around the world.
To help bridge that gap, consider spicing up your sex life by trying something new in bed - like the Kivin method of oral sex. The Kivin method isn't necessarily groundbreaking, but it's a simple and effective solution to certain issues caused by having oral sex the "traditional" way. Here's everything you need to know about the Kivin method of oral sex.
What Is the Kivin Method?
The most important aspect to note about the Kivin method is not necessarily the technique, as much as the position. "The Kivin method is a way to perform oral sex [where the giver] is essentially sideways," sex educator Javay Frye-Nekrasova tells POPSUGAR. In this method, the person giving the oral sex is perpendicular to the receiver, forming a sort of "T" shape. The receiver is on their back, and the giver comes in from the side and above the thighs.
The method also involves certain movements with the hands and tongue. "The Kivin method is done with a flicking of the tongue and pressure on the perineum," says Marla Renee Stewart, professional sexologist and founder of Velvet Lips Sex Ed. This is easily accomplished thanks to the sideways position of the giver; when they come in from the side, they have the ability to flick their tongue side to side across the clitoral hood and vulva, rather than up and down. That action can be paired with a finger putting gentle pressure on the receiver's perineum, aka the spot between the vagina and the anus. This provides a whole different type of stimulation that can be pleasurable for the receiver.
How Is the Kivin Method Different From Traditional Oral Sex?
Though some elements of the Kivin method are unique, the main difference between this method and traditional between-the-thighs oral sex is mostly the positioning. "There is not much difference in the actual technique, but rather the position of bodies," Frye-Nekrasova says. "Instead of just laying aligned where the head is directly between the thighs, the Kivin method calls for the giving partner to be sideways . . . allowing range of motion of the neck." This range of motion creates more stimulation on many sensitive areas like the vulva, clitoris, and perineum, and the side-to-side motion changes up the sensations usually experienced in traditional oral sex.
Why Is the Kivin Method Effective?
One of the reasons the Kivin method has made a name for itself is because it often leads to more intense and much quicker orgasms. "With the Kivin method in particular, it's sort of a race to the finish," Stewart says. "That's what makes it effective, that it's one consistent method, and it takes a shorter time frame than other techniques. Part of it is the angle itself. A lot of times when people start oral sex, they don't know if they have a front-facing or back-facing vulva . . . with the Kivin method, you can use your tongue to make it as effective as possible."
With sideways positioning, more range of motion, different tongue movements, and the use of the fingers for gentle pressure and extra stimulation, the Kivin method is a must for those looking to try something new in the bedroom.