Donald Trump is About to Become the Donald Trump of Sports Broadcasting

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Photo credit: Chip Somodevilla - Getty Images
Photo credit: Chip Somodevilla - Getty Images

During the years of, say, 2016 to 2020—a pretty rough time in our country!—I had one genuine escape: Sports. When the news cycle got too loud, too stupid, or threatened an existential crisis, I'd flip on something like Sunday Night Football and let Mike Tirico and Cris Collinsworth fill my head with passing yards records and the occasional Tom Brady joke.

Now, in our slightly better, but still fairly terrible year of 2021, our White House is off its fast food diet, and I had only recently dared to forget about the man who once held our nuclear codes, until I checked ESPN this morning. Apparently, Donald Trump's latest, greatest foray into post-prez life is a tepid, clumsy step into a safe space I once held dear. This Saturday, Trump and his son, Donald Trump Jr., will provide an alternate telecast for Triller's fight between Evander Holyfield and Vitor Belfort, as well as the three undercard bouts before it. Those who enjoy the idea of compressing four years of chaos into a marathon viewing of four fights can buy the pay-per-view for $49,99.

"I love great fighters and great fights," Trump Sr. said. "I look forward to seeing both this Saturday night and sharing my thoughts ringside. You won't want to miss this special event."

Of course, Trump Sr. was quite fond of lurking around the boxing scene in the '80s and '90s, hosting boxing matches at this Atlantic City casinos. But loading this man up with Diet Coke, sticking a big microphone in his face, and making him (we can only assume) the color guy to his son's play-by-play calling? It's a dark turn for the profession that counts Costas and Michaels among its ranks. This feels like the Dodgeball broadcasting duo of Cotton and Pepper is coming to life, only, you know, both guys have MAGA hats knocking around that probably haven't been washed since Inauguration day.

It's not the biggest surprise that Triller would employ #45, either—this is, after all, the place where Jake Paul (and FaceTime buddy of DJT's) made his name in boxing. Since we do live in the darkest simulation, though, it's easy to see the Trump pay-per-view selling well enough for the guy to stay in the broadcasting game, adding a carousel of the ghosts of Trump's past to the booth. Hey, maybe we'll even see him jump in the ring someday.

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