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Denise van Outen opens up about Eddie Boxshall split

Denise van Outen has opened up about her split from Eddie Boxshall (REUTERS)
Denise van Outen has opened up about her split from Eddie Boxshall (REUTERS)

Denise van Outen has opened up about her split from Eddie Boxshall saying she called things off to preserve her self-respect.

The 47-year-old actress and presenter had been in a seven-year relationship with Boxshall, 48, when she ended things in January amid rumours of him cheating.

Speaking on Radio 2 on Tuesday, mum-of-one Denise said: "The one thing I'm really proud of myself for is I do know when to walk away and I don't like to be taken advantage of.

"Sometimes it's been to the detriment of my own career or in my own relationships, but I just feel like it's really important as a woman to have self-worth and self-respect.

"I've always tried to maintain that in anything that I do in life, generally. More so now as a mother because I feel like I'm a role model and I've got to set an example."

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Eddie Boxshall and Denise van Outen had been together for seven years. (Getty Images)
Eddie Boxshall and Denise van Outen had been together for seven years. (Getty Images)

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Van Outen who has daughter Betsy from her relationship with Lee Mead, first revealed the couple's break-up in an emotional Instagram post, writing: "Over the past couple of months, there has been much speculation regarding my relationship with Eddie.

"It saddens me to confirm that we are no longer a couple. I had to make the difficult decision not to continue in our relationship.

"I will always treasure the good times we spent together, and the memories made. We ask that you please respect our privacy at this time, especially for our children."

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Clinical psychologist and couples therapist Michaela Thomas, founder of The Thomas Connection says, "Taking the step to leave a relationship can be very brave, as you are stepping away from a life you know for a life that is uncertain, especially if you have a fear of being alone.

"Knowing that the relationship doesn't serve you and daring to walk away from it can take courage. On the opposite, staying with someone who treats you badly doesn't mean that you are weak or not brave, it is an incredibly hard pattern to break."

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Denise Van Outen is mum to daughter Betsy. (Getty Images)
Denise van Outen is mum to daughter Betsy. (Getty Images)

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Thomas, author of the book The Lasting Connection, says there are several signs that show it could be time to walk away from your relationship, such as, "if it is costing you more than it is giving you, and has done so consistently over a longer period of time. Or you have tried to make improvements over time, yet still feel like it is a relationship you don't want to live in any more."

Other indicators, according to Thomas could be: "You have had support in making a wise decision about whether to stay or to leave – either from loved ones or a professional.

"The relationship is damaging to your mental health or self-esteem through being toxic or abusive. For blended families, the relationship is damaging to your children and your partner, of their children.

"Your values diverge too much, so that you want different things from life and cannot find a compromise on a 'dealbreaker'."

Van Outen says she will still treasure the memories of the couple's happy times. (Getty Images)
Van Outen says she will still treasure the memories of the couple's happy times. (Getty Images)

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But she says it is possible to treasure the best memories from the times you shared together – like van Outen says she does from her time with Boxshall.

"It is absolutely possible to cherish the fond memories you have had together, but that is harder if the ending has been acrimonious rather than amicable," Thomas explains. "Some couples, especially those who are bound together through continued co-parenting of their children, find that they can work better as a parenting team when no longer romantically involved.

Of course, it may not be realistic to expect yourself to look back with fondness straight away if you have been hurt or betrayed by your ex. "Focus on getting yourself back on your feet, showing yourself some compassion and lean on loved ones for support," advises Thomas. "Time will tell whether you can also remember the good times. It can feel bittersweet though."