Advertisement

From daytrippers to stay-away hermits, what’s your Easter Bank holiday tribe?

Will you go big or keep things quiet?
Will you go big or keep things quiet?

We endured the most interminable winter in living memory and then, just like that, we were gifted the holy trinity: a spate of good weather and the easing of lockdown restrictions, just in time for the bank holiday. A true Easter miracle. “Don’t blow it,” the Health Secretary warned, cheerily, as the English attempted to stay calm in the face of a spot of sunshine and a long weekend.

The Hancocks, incidentally, are off to Suffolk. Just for the day, mind. “We’re saying that you should minimise travel but if you want to travel to see friends and family then that is absolutely fine,” Mr Hancock said graciously, this week.

“For instance, I haven’t been home to Suffolk since November. I’m planning to go this weekend, but only go for the day because there’s no overnight stays, but I’m going to go for the day on Easter Sunday.”

So are you bundling the buckets and spades in the boot and hot footing it to the coast and back, like Matt, Martha and the three little Hancocks? Does a weekend of hosting and barbecuing await you, whatever the weather? Or will you be staying safely within the confines of your own home and letting the rest of the country get on with it?

As the first weekend of post-lockdown socialising begins, here’s how to tell which bank holiday tribe you’re in...

The back-to-backers

You’ve drawn up a spreadsheet for the next three days and will be hosting groups of six at two-hour intervals throughout the four-day weekend.

Anyone who fails to stick to their allotted time slot will be bumped from the schedule. After all, you were very clear on the rules in your email invitation:

“Send us a text to say you’ve arrived, then follow the solar-powered lanterns down the side of the house to the back garden. You’ll need to bring your own shatterproof glasses but please visit the hand sanitiser station before entering ‘Dave’s Bar’ (note the jaunty sign on the gazebo) and helping yourself to punch made with the hooch we brewed in Lockdown 1.

“Stay as long as you like (not really, we’ve got the Hendersons coming at 16:00) but bear in mind it’s strictly no bathroom trips allowed so you’ll want to be on your way before you need to use the facilities.”

The outdoor preppers

Fairy lights, gazebo, action!

We have all become preppers of some sort this year. If the first lockdown was all about stockpiling lentils, loo roll and wine, this third has been spent squirrelling away more garden accoutrements than Charlie Dimmock on Ground Force circa 1998.

You're hoping your guests notice that your Ibiza-meets-Copenhagen outdoor living space, complete with rattan sofa and weatherproof soft furnishings, now looks chicer than their sitting room.

Come rain or shine, you are ready for anything this weekend. Should temperatures drop below 10 degrees, your chiminea is ready and waiting to be fired up and in a triumph of hope over experience, the Cornish shade sail you ordered in January is on standby for a freak reappearance of the sun.

The day trippers

After months of being told to stay at home, this is the weekend to make up for lost time and hit the motorway to visit much-missed loved ones.

Overnight stays might not be allowed yet, but what better way to celebrate the easing of restrictions than by finally vacating your neighbourhood for the day and heading in the direction of grandparents, fresh air and a dose of bank holiday fun.

Sure, you might end up regretting your life choices should the weather take a turn. You might even decide half way up the M1 that you’d rather your family were being forced to isolate in separate rooms than spend the next three hours in the same car listening to Taylor Swift.

But even if you only manage to snatch an hour on a windy beach or back garden with family or friends you haven’t seen for months, it’ll be worth it for the memories. At least that’s what you’ll tell the children.

The half in, half outers

You’re not quite ready for the full social whirl yet so you’re dipping your toes in gently. The neighbours are popping round for a few distanced drinks in the garden on Saturday and you’re planning a socially-distanced Easter egg hunt for the kids, but you certainly won’t be venturing far or hosting the masses.

Instead, you’ve got a repeat of last year’s virtual Easter quiz on Zoom, a long list of jobs to be getting on with around the house and a nice leg of lamb ready to be roasted on Sunday.

And if you’re really honest, there are still a good three seasons of Schitt’s Creek you’ll need to get through before you can even think about fully emerging from lockdown.

The bank holiday hermits

You will not be venturing out to commune with the world and his wife in the park this weekend. Nor will you be hosting in your garden. Lockdown is not over and you plan to stay put indoors for the foreseeable.

If you do pop out, it’ll be to make your twice daily circuit of the local environs, keeping a watching brief on the numbers congregating on the common, peering over fences and reporting all groups larger than six to the authorities.

The belligerent barbecuers

When the mini heatwave was raging earlier this week, you stocked up on a lifetime’s supply of charcoal and Pimms, have been marinating a butterflied shoulder of lamb to barbecue as per Jamie’s instructions for the past 24 hours, and will be damned if Arctic temperatures are going to stop the official inauguration of the full outdoor kitchen set-up you have been building all lockdown.

All you need is an umbrella to shield you from the elements and you’ll happily spend all day at the helm of your Weber Genesis® II E310™ (ensuring everyone is made aware of the make and model, of course).

Easter bank holiday tribe merch
Easter bank holiday tribe merch
Which tribe do you belong to? Let us know in the comments