Dad tweets about hilarious Halloween antics with his four daughters
[Photo: Twitter/James Breakwell]
Halloween means two very different things depending on if you have kids or not. You probably either spent the evening hiding behind a pillow watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose, or up to your arms in green face paint chasing little ones.
James Breakwell, comedy writer and father of four girls under six years old, was certainly of the latter camp while the family prepped for their spooky festivities.
Of course I'm taking my baby trick-or-treating.
She's too young to remember the experience.
I just want the extra bag of candy.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 31, 2016
From attempting to get costumes ready to the never-ending politics surrounding sweets and treats, Breakwell tweeted about the Halloween activities he shared with his girls aged six, four, two and 11 months with hilarious results.
4-year-old: We should go trick-or-treating early.
Me: No need. There will be plenty of candy for everybody.
4: Not if I get there first.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 31, 2016
Whether it was recounting his girls’ frank attitudes towards the occult or exploiting his youngest to gain more Halloween candy, not only are the posts a brilliantly refreshing account of fatherhood, but will have you struggling to hold back many a chuckle.
You’ve got to wonder how many sweets the girls actually ended up keeping hold of.
I make my kids put their candy one communal bowl.
I don’t care if they share with each other.
I just want it to be easier for me to steal.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, 2016
And Halloween isn’t truly Halloween without a child’s ambitious attitude towards pumpkin carving.
I let my 2-year-old draw a face on a pumpkin.
I'm supposed to carve out the lines.
Challenge accepted. pic.twitter.com/REhAJklPdI
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2016
And who doesn’t want to wear their Halloween costume before the big day?
4-year-old: Can I wear my wizard costume today?
Me: No. You’ll ruin it before Halloween.
4: I'll use magic to fix it.
Checkmate.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2016
Or live the brief dream that we can, in fact, live off sugar.
Me: I'm heading to the grocery store.
6-year-old: Why? We're about to get Halloween candy.
Me: You need other food, too.
6: Maybe YOU do.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 28, 2016
And at the end of it all is the dream of a decent night’s sleep.
My 2-year-old won’t go down the stairs
She's terrified of the jack-o-lanterns at the bottom
I know what I'm putting around my bed tonight.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2016
What do you think about Breakwell’s tweets? Tweet us at @YahooStyleUK.
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