Christmas Cracker Jokes That Are Actually Funny (Kind Of...)
Look – Christmas isn't Christmas without a few cheesy jokes from the inside of a Christmas cracker, right? Which is why here at Delish, we've taken it upon ourselves to pull together some half decent festive jokes. Admittedly, they're quite cliché, and you may well have heard them before. But hey! What's Christmas without a selection of not-so-funny cracker jokes? Without further ado, here's 30 of the best Christmas cracker jokes you'll find...
What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?
A stick.
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
What do they sing at a snowman's birthday?
"Freeze a jolly good fellow..."
What did Santa do when he went speed dating?
He pulled a cracker.
What happens to elves when they are naughty?
Santa gives them the sack!
Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
He had nobody to go with.
What do frogs wear on their feet?
Open toad sandals.
What athlete is warmest during winter?
A long jumper.
What happened to the man that stole an advent calendar?
He got 25 days.
What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet.
How is Drake like an elf?
He spends all his time wrapping.
Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?
Beyon-sleigh!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
Who delivers presents to pets?
Santa Paws!
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
Who is Santa’s favourite singer?
Elf-is Presley
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Why can't Christmas trees knit?
Because they loose their needles.
Where does Santa go when he's sick?
The elf centre.
What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
A mistle-toad.
What do you call a reindeer who can't see?
No-eye deer.
What was the snowman doing in the vegetable patch?
Picking his nose!
What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas?
A twerky.
Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
Did Rudolph go to school?
Nope! He was elf-taught.
How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle.
What's a parent's favourite Christmas carol?
Silent Night!
Which of Santa's reindeers has the best moves?
Dancer.
What does Santa spend his wages on?
Jingle Bills.
