Christmas Cracker Jokes That Are Actually Funny (Kind Of...)

·2-min read
Photo credit: Victoria Ashman - Getty Images
Photo credit: Victoria Ashman - Getty Images

If you fancy spicing things up this year and making your very own DIY Christmas crackers, then you'll be requiring some half decent Christmas jokes.

Luckily for you, we've pulled together 21 of our all-time favourites. Admittedly, they're quite cliché, and you may well have heard them before. But hey! What's Christmas without a selection of not-so-funny Christmas cracker jokes?

Without further ado, here's 21 of the best Christmas cracker jokes you'll find...

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

A stick.

Why was the turkey in the pop group?

Because he was the only one with drumsticks!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?


What do they sing at a snowman's birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow...

What did Santa do when he went speed dating?

He pulled a cracker.

What happens to elves when they are naughty?

Santa gives them the sack!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet!

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?

He had nobody to go with.

What do frogs wear on their feet?

Open toad sandals.

What happened to the man that stole an advent calendar?

He got 25 days.

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?

The elf-abet.

How is Drake like an elf?

He spends all his time wrapping.

Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star?


Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?

A mince spy.

Who delivers presents to pets?

Santa Paws!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?

Ice caps.

Who is Santa’s favourite singer?

Elf-is Presley

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vanmpire?


Why can't Christmas trees knit?

Because they loose their needles.

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?

A mistle-toad.

What do you call a reindeer who can't see?

No-eye deer.

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