Chrissy Teigen reveals she is 'full of regret' around son Jack's stillbirth
In October last year, Chrissy Teigen shared a series of heart-wrenching, black and white photos, showing the model and her husband John Legend in hospital, holding their stillborn son, Jack. The post detailed the 'deep pain' the couple were experiencing after doctors were unable to prevent internal bleeding and Jack's fluid loss, resulting in a miscarriage at 20 weeks.
In the weeks and months afterwards, the mum-of-two has since penned an essay on how grief has impacted her for Medium, and has continued to document the process of recovering from the tragedy, with photos and poignant captions on Instagram.
And now, several months after the loss, Chrissy has opened up once again about her son Jack, to mark what would have been his due month.
Sharing photos taken while filming John Legend's Wild video, in which the star announced to the world that she was pregnant by putting her hand to her stomach as the clip ends, Chrissy revealed the big regret that still haunts her about Jack's birth.
The 35-year-old wrote: 'These are from our video shoot for Wild in Mexico. I was 10 weeks along and out of my mind happy. I knew the video would take a bit to get together so thought it would be cute to share our news with the world through the old classic hand-on-belly trick at the end.
'I could have never imagined what would happen over the next 10 weeks...not sure I'll ever be able to watch that video again without sobbing but I hope he feels my tears and knows we miss him so. He would have been here any day now — if he were like Luna and Miles, I'd probably be holding him as we speak.'
Detailing her one big regret, she confessed: 'I am so full of regret that I didn't look at his face when he was born. I was so scared of seeing him in my nightmares that I forgot about seeing him in my dreams. I hurt every day from that remorse.
'This month is a rough reminder and to be honest, I thought the worst was over but I guess life and emotions aren't on any sort of schedule. Love you guys to pieces and am grateful for all your support and love. I firmly believe energy and healing travels through the night sky and I feel it, I promise I do. And I love you Jack. I miss you so, so much.'
If you are suffering any of the issues mentioned above, you can find support at Tommys by speaking to their midwives, who are trained in bereavement support, via a designated pregnancy line on 0800 014 7800 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm), or email at midwife@tommys.org.
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