Chrissy Teigen has written a poignant personal essay after losing her third child, a baby boy named Jack, last month.
The model and TV presenter detailed her experience in her own words on Medium overnight. She started by thanking those who sent notes and flowers and made her feel less alone in her grief by sharing their stories of baby loss as she was processing hers. She said she read every message she received via Instagram.
'I didn’t really know how I would start this, no matter the room or state I was in, but it feels right to begin with a thank you,' she wrote. 'For weeks, our floors have been covered in flowers of kindness. Notes have flooded in and have each been read with our own teary eyes. Social media messages from strangers have consumed my days, most starting with, "you probably won’t read this, but…". I can assure you, I did.'
She then explained what happened in the run-up to losing Jack. You can read her account in the full essay here.
Teigen then touched upon her very personal reason for sharing photos taken in the moments after Jack was born on Instagram.
I had asked my mom and John to take pictures, no matter how uncomfortable it was. I explained to a very hesitant John that I needed them, and that I did NOT want to have to ever ask. That he just had to do it. He hated it. I could tell. It didn’t make sense to him at the time. But I knew I needed to know of this moment forever, the same way I needed to remember us kissing at the end of the aisle, the same way I needed to remember our tears of joy after Luna and Miles. And I absolutely knew I needed to share this story.
I cannot express how little I care that you hate the photos. How little I care that it’s something you wouldn’t have done. I lived it, I chose to do it, and more than anything, these photos aren’t for anyone but the people who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like. These photos are only for the people who need them. The thoughts of others do not matter to me.
She added: 'People say an experience like this creates a hole in your heart. A hole was certainly made, but it was filled with the love of something I loved so much. It doesn’t feel empty, this space. It feels full.
'Maybe *too* bursting full, actually. I find myself randomly crying, thinking about how happy I am to have two insanely wonderful little toddlers who fill this house with love. I smother them with love while they “Moooooooom!!!!!” me. I don’t care.'
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