How to get your children to revise for their GCSE exams
It’s less than two months to my son’s end-of-year exams but there’s not a flashcard or revision folder in sight. At 15, he’s in his first year of GCSEs so we’re not at crunch time just yet which, given the fact that his daily reading is limited to captions on cute puppy TikToks and my texts telling him to BRING YOUR DIRTY BOWLS AND MUGS DOWNSTAIRS!, is a godsend.
My son is bright and extremely capable (as his frustrated teachers keep telling me), but he’s also totally disengaged from his schoolwork. Homework has always been a battle; he’d much rather play football, see friends or lie in the bath until his fingers are shrivelled and pruny, watching said puppy TikToks.
The school environment of sedentary learning at desks has never quite worked for him – as it doesn’t for many teenage boys. Studies show that girls are likely to spend time in the classroom more productively which is why, in formal learning, they tend to outperform boys at every level and every age group, from the early years through to Sats, GCSEs, A-levels, university admissions and degree classifications. It happens not only in the UK but in every developed country, with few exceptions.
However, Dr Jane Gilmour, consultant clinical psychologist at Great Ormond Street and co-author of The Incredible Teenage Brain, asserts that boys have the same learning capacity as girls and there is no marked difference between the genders.
“Learning is underpinned by the executive function in the brain which is a set of cognitive skills needed for self-control and managing behaviours and these include skills such as having a working memory, organisation, prioritisation and initiation which predict academic success very well,” explains Dr Gilmour. “There may be individual differences in executive function with everyone having different strengths and weaknesses in their learning, but there’s no evidence of a gender difference.”
What the formal learning environment of schools doesn’t do is take advantage of this pivotal time in the teenage brain.
“As soon as puberty kicks in, the teenage brain is marinated in hormones and has a set of drivers unique to them,” explains Dr Gilmour. “These drivers are the desire for novelty, self-identity, autonomy, peer-integration and pursuing a passion. Didactic teaching in schools isn’t conducive to the teenage brain and fails to take advantage of these drivers. To have educational engagement, schools need to hitch a ride to the passions of the teenage brain and make the most of them.”
I think of my sociable, sporty son, who loves cracking jokes and listening to music, forced to spend the best part of his day silent and still – and it makes sense that he comes home desperate to do anything but sit quietly doing more work at a desk.
The only subjects he enthuses about – and excels in – are PE and English, both, unsurprisingly, led at his school by teachers who make lessons fun and interactive.
But even if a school’s style of learning stymies your teen’s motivation, parents can still use the same drivers of the teen brain to help motivate learning at home.
“You can address their need for autonomy by playing a consultative role, not telling them what to do,” says Dr Gilmour. “When he’s calm and you’re calm, ask him what he thinks he should do to motivate himself and what can you do to help his plan go smoothly. Ask him to write his own timetable for revision – which he’s far more likely to stick to. Encouraging breaks as small periods of daydreaming after a period of concentrated learning actually consolidates the learning. The key is that you are the support system but you’re not in control – he is.”
Dr Gilmour encourages parents to hone in on their teen’s desire for social contact and novelty, too.
“Teens are zeroed in on integrating with their peers in a way that never happens before or after this age,” says Dr Gilmour. “So capitalise on the power of their social brain and host a study group with his friends to keep their interest. Learning to teach, rather than simply learning for a test, is proven to produce better recall so it’s a win/win strategy. Mix up where they study, too. Sitting at the same desk in their bedroom night after night can feel boring, so think about taking them out to a café where they can work every now and again, or changing the scenery and working at the kitchen table.”
Linking their passions with study will also help a disengaged teen, adds Dr Gilmour: “Can they do keepy-uppy to the rhythm of repeating a physics equation or a poem? Think about what they can do to make their learning more interesting.”
And if your teen is highly disorganised, with loose notes spilling out of textbooks and no system for revision, is it OK to Marie Kondo their desk and drop a small fortune at Ryman on folders, highlighters and labels?
“I wouldn’t do the organisation for them because how will they learn to organise themselves?” says Dr Gilmour. “Try to work together and get an agreement that something needs to change and develop a system alongside your teen. But it’s not going to happen overnight, so think about this ahead of the exam season if possible.”
One mistake I keep making with my son is telling him that if he doesn’t work, he’ll fail – adding an especially unhelpful, “And then where will you be?”
Parents, says Dr Gilmour, should try to offer a calm “sorting space” and to address their own anxieties about failure before putting them on their child.
“Some students get stressed and overwhelmed during exam season,” says Dr Gilmour, and for a small minority more serious mental health issues can occur at this point.
“Parents need to encourage their teens to keep talking and to ask them how it’s going, and if they open up about their fears of failure, don’t dismiss them or shut them down with, ‘Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,’ or ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ Teens need to know that failure is an option and there is always a way back, whether that’s retaking or doing something else. They need to know that their value is not simply bound up with their success in exams or at school.”
For conscientious teens who are all work and no play, there needs to be a different message to counteract their perfectionist streak.
“Look at their timetable and make sure they’re having reasonable breaks with short bursts of learning followed by wakeful rest and good quality sleep, which is the glue of the memory,” says Dr Gilmour. “If they’re working too hard and have lost balance, think about why they’re so concerned. What do these exams mean to them? What are the messages in the home? Is their study or exams the first thing you ask them about when they come home? For perfectionist kids, you need to tell them they’re fabulous without being perfect. Reward them for looking after themselves, taking breaks and doing exercise. Do an activity with them which you’re both novices in, and have fun as you fail – they need to know that failing is a life skill and it’s fine.”
Of course, the pandemic has left many teens playing catch-up and parents need to be aware that exams may not go as well as they’d like. “Be prepared and talk about this possibility with your teen before the results come out and explain it won’t be the end of the world,” advises Dr Gilmour. “On results day, your job is to keep perspective and empathise. Tell them it sucks and it’s really disappointing and don’t immediately move to problem-solve. The key message they need to hear is that there’s always a way back.”
Top tips to help your teenager study
Dr Gilmour reveals her top tips for helping teens cope with the pressure and achieve success
Keep your parental anxiety out of orbit
It’s a parent’s job to think about the future and the long-term, so it’s understandable to have “What if?” questions in your mind about academic outcomes, but it’s essential you keep your anxiety out of your child’s orbit. Talk through your greatest fears about exams, results and future careers with a friend or a partner and then park them, so you’re clear-headed and convey calm when you’re around your child.
Reframe short bursts of stress as ‘extra energy’
Doing this changes the way your brain and body reacts and will make your teen more likely to learn from the stress and grow resilience if you can teach them to hold this positive mindset. People who consider stress as inherently bad are less likely to react in this way. Model a “stress-embracing” perspective around the family when you feel nervous before an event, for example, and talk about it in these terms. It’s important to remember that brief periods of stress are very different from chronic stress which is feeling overwhelmed day after day – this type of stress is toxic for the developing brain.
Keep the emotional temperature low-key and warm
Yelling “Get on with your work!” at your child is considered a threat by the brain and means it changes state. The emotion areas of the brain light up in these “threat” situations so the thinking part of the brain in the frontal lobes can’t engage with learning in the best way, culminating in the opposite of what your yelling was actually trying to achieve. If you can’t stay calm, delegate to another trusted adult who can.
Get a clear picture of the problem
If revision time has run out, instead of telling off your teenager with an angry, “Well, it’s too late now”, try to get a clear picture of the problem, and then get strategic and practical. Discuss with your teen: is it better to skip questions or have a guess, or is there a negative marking scheme? Walking through the exam step by step, from taking their seat to turning over the exam paper and seeing the questions, will also help prepare them for the experience of seeing topics that are unfamiliar, avoid panic in the exam itself and maximise the knowledge they do have.
Stay connected with your child
One of the most powerful things you can do during exam season – or indeed through any challenging time – is to stay connected. We estimate the gradient of a hill is shallower if we have a person we trust standing next to us. Feeling supported by your physical presence or emotional connection is a mighty parenting tool. Hugs, sticking encouraging Post-it notes to their desk or sending supportive texts will help your teen know you’re alongside them as they climb that exam mountain.
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