We've got the answer to how painful is childbirth, from 20 mums
It's no secret that childbirth has a reputation for being incredibly painful. But the general consensus is that the excruciating pain is worth it thanks to the reward at the end - aka meeting the mini-human you've been cooking up for the past nine months. Honestly, we can only imagine the cascade of emotions you feel during that first snuggle.
Of course, to get to that money-can't-buy moment, a woman has to enter a serious zone of strength - both mentally and physically - and if you were a serial One Born Every Minute watcher back in the day, you'll probably have a pretty good idea of what goes down during childbirth.
So, for those considering having children one day, the chances are some of these questions - i.e. what does it actually feel like to squeeze a human baby out of your nether regions? Are contractions really that sore? How painful is childbirth? And could you really poo yourself? - will have crossed your mind, however fleetingly. It's only natural to be curious - giving birth is a momentous occasion, and also a whole world of unknown, if you haven't experienced it first hand.
To have a shot at answering the question of how painful it really is, we asked those in the know - 20 women who have been there, done that. Straight from the horse's mothers of Mumsnet's mouths...
1. "For me, I experienced cramps in thighs, tummy ache, dizzy, vomiting. But still not 'the worst [pain] ever'. My broken foot was much more uncomfortable."
2. "Similar to the ones you get when you have diarrhoea, but it built up to a peak and then faded away again. At the top of the peak it was almost unbearable and just as I thought I couldn't take any more it went away. It was a positive pain though as you know it will end and they will get closer together. I found that they only 'hurt' when I was frightened and tense and overwhelmed, if I concentrated on keeping all my muscles relaxed - my jaw especially - it wasn't too bad.
It was also easier to deal with if I distracted myself, so I walked, watched TV shows and listened to music, rather than clock-watching all the time. My labours were long, at 22 and 19 hours each. Gas and air was great for keeping my breathing calm as you can hear it more, plus it makes you woozy and floaty which is a great distraction. It was definitely not the worst pain ever."
3. "I've got no pain threshold and am really not brave at all. But the way I approached it was just one bit at a time - or 'this bit feels like period pains, I can handle this', then 'this bit is really painful but the gas and air is helping and the next stage will be soon' - and I actually coped really well.
The pushing bit was fucking painful for sure but by the time I got there I was focussed on 'the baby will be here any moment'. That got me through. I suppose what helped was really a kind of mindfulness now I think of it - just focus on what's going on in the moment and don't think of it as a whole."
4. "My first time pain was intense in the small of my back, second time more like classic period cramps (only more so...). Both times I had a point where I felt panicked and overwhelmed - I think this was probably 'transition'. Also, the pain really does go away in between contractions which I couldn't get my head round beforehand."
5. "So, I followed instructions, to no avail as it turned out as [my daughter] needed to be hauled out in the end. But I certainly ticked the pooing box. I didn't see it, [my husband] politely assures me that he never saw anything, so I might have convinced myself that nothing had happened after all if it hadn't been for the bloody midwife saying loudly, 'oh good, I can see someone has been taking their iron tablets then!'"
6. "With [my first son] I had an elective c-section so my labour with my second son was my first experience. It started off very manageable, what I thought were braxton hicks intensified and became more regular. It was uncomfortable but not painful. However, I don't know if it is because it was a back-to-back labour but I found the vaginal examination unbelievably painful it was torture and I'm ashamed to say I was crying and unable to let the midwife examine me properly. I couldn't get the hang of gas and air."
I wasn't prepared for what happened when my waters broke. I expected the contractions to increase in pain but I didn't expect it to happen so suddenly. My contractions were very close together and with each contraction I vomited. I had completely forgotten all the breathing and relaxation techniques learnt in hypnobirthing. I was recommended an epidural which took the pain away almost immediately and I stopped vomiting. However, it did slow the contractions down and I never got past 9cm so ended up with an emergency c-section."
7. "I didn't realise I was in labour for the first 2 hours, then I only had 6 hours from then until my son popped into the world! I found it manageable - sore, of course, but I've broken bones and that hurt more. It felt like bad period pain with someone squeezing you round the middle at the same time - so, odd. I guess a lot if it is your state of mind, too - focus on the fact that it's a means to an end, it's not pain due to illness or injury. It's got a purpose."
8. "My waters broke at 2am. I had like strong period pains for a couple of hours, then I went into the labour ward because they were getting closer. I asked for some gas and air at 05.00 and went on with that until around 10.00.
It then became quite painful so I had an epidural. I could feel the contractions squeezing but no pain. Then the midwife said I was 10cm, so would come back in half an hour to start pushing. Did that and after half an hour of pushing out she popped. No pain, a fantastic atmosphere in the labour room, lovely little girl."
9. "I recently sustained a Lisfranc fracture with an ankle fracture so I can compare that pain with childbirth. Take the fracture pain, multiply that a few times. Then set a timer so you feel that pain at regular intervals for a couple hours to days. Everyone’s different. That’s just labour. Now try to imagine something twice the size of your urethra squeezing out and as it pops out it’s ripping open your urethra. That would be the actual birth. A broken ankle doesn’t compare."
10. "Painful, one of the worst pains I've ever felt. My acute kidney injury was a veryyyy close second. And yet, I would go through childbirth 5 times before I go through pregnancy again. Pregnancy was a f*****g nightmare."
12. "For me it was about 7.5/10, contractions are painful, birth itself not so much. I would compare contractions to strong menstrual cramps (to the point of you hearing buzzing and nothing else) but when they stop it's pure bliss for several minutes."
13. "It’s actually pretty painful. It was the only time I’ve ever yelled out in pain, or couldn’t talk because something hurt so bad. But I didn’t cry at all, which was weird because I’m usually a crybaby. It was like a different part of my brain took over and went into birth mode."
14. "To me it felt like the worst menstrual cramps imaginable. I was induced and the contractions were right on top of each other. It was... Awful. I have absolutely no pain tolerance to speak of. I was shaking before I finally gave in and got the epidural.
Then inserting the epidural completely put the contractions out of my mind - once it was in and working it was awesome. Epidurals are awesome. Definitely recommend.
Like many people have pointed out, it's a temporary pain. I gave birth six months ago and I can barely remember it. It's worth it. I would do it 100 more times just to get my little guy."
15. "I was induced (both times), it did not hurt much, but I had epidurals. I had some cramping, but nothing like you see or hear about. I would imagine it is pretty painful without an epidural."
16. "It was really emotional for me. Painful but kind of empowering. Near the end I felt really scared. It was worth it though."
17. "Honestly, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as everyone claims it does. Yeah it sucks, but when someone says "I was in labour for 24 hours!!" they're kind of lying. You may have been in labour for that long, but you didn't suffer labour pains for 24 hours straight. Most of the time, you're not having pains. It's only for the last couple hours or so that things really pick up and you don't get a lot of downtime between contractions.
I had two kids naturally without anaesthesia of any sort (except a local when they stitched me up) and it wasn't nearly as horrifying as everyone says it is."
18. "To me, contractions felt like a strong muscle cramp. I've had Charley horses in my legs that hurt more than labour contractions did. The uterus cramps up, and it's uncomfortable and painful, then it's over and you get a little break before the next one.
Actually giving birth felt pretty much like pushing out the largest bowel movement you could ever imagine."
19. "I don't know about anyone else, but the actual pushing wasn't as excruciating as the ever-increasing intensity of contractions. The long, painful wait was the sucky part, but not by any means absolute hell. The relief of having the baby out of your body is almost euphoric. I stopped hurting immediately."
20. "Unmedicated childbirth here - for me, it felt like my usual menstrual cramps only slightly stronger and with breaks. I didn't mind that as much as the pushing - it was an unexpected sort of discomfort and it did not come with the 'you'll know when it's time to start pushing' sensation I had heard so much about. I did not like the pushing part.
The end result though? Absolutely, blissfully amazing in a can't stop staring at this teeny tiny newborn person that I now and forever will be infatuated with type of way. It really is difficult to convey the feelings and emotions that come with being a parent... people always say it's indescribable... you have no idea what it's like until you actually have one of your own, and you know what? They're f*****g right. It's a type of love that us unlike any other, and on this journey through life, I consider it a challenging adventure that's not to be missed."
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