"I said the worst thing I've ever done in the book, because we've all got one, and anybody like me is probably getting killed by it now."
Joe Tracini is an actor, comedian and champion magician. He's also frequently suicidal. Joe suffers from borderline personality disorder, or BPD, and since speaking publicly about it, he's not shied away from talking about the 'unfashionable' side of mental illness.
Such as deciding to commit to paper the 'worst thing he's ever done' in his new book, '10 Things I Hate About Me: how to stay alive with a brain that's trying to kill you'.
Tracini details a time in his life where he "unknowingly created a world that only existed in my head that I didn't tell anybody else about, where I was genuinely doing a magic show." Except the show wasn't real, and he stole large amounts of money from a friend to pay for equipment for it.
"I'm now talking about it for the first time ever. And it's there in the book so that somebody like you can ask me about it and I can tell you. Everybody has got a worst thing they've ever done. I don't know what yours is, but you've got one. And everybody is now thinking of a thing. That thing might not be a big deal for me, but it is for them. "
"So the way that I'm dealing with the worst thing I've ever done, is I'm telling everybody that I don't know, so then hopefully somebody else might be able to do the same thing."
Joining Bryony Gordon on this week's Mad World podcast, Joe also introduces Bryony to 'Mick', his name for his BPD, and asks listeners to always remember one phrase: wait for a bit.
You can listen to the full conversation with Joe Tracini on Bryony Gordon’s Mad World podcast using the audio player at the top of this article, or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favourite podcast app.