The real life The Replacement: My boss made me think I was going mad and suffering from maternity paranoia
Even now, say the words “maternity paranoia” to Julie Humphryes and she gives a small shudder and a gentle shake of her head in silent horror.
We are in the clean, white meeting room of her north London office. As you might expect from the co-owner and director of Archer Humphryes Architects, a company that includes celebrity hangout Chiltern Firehouse among its high-profile projects, there are beautiful design books, cardboard models and carefully stacked building plans everywhere.
Humphryes, 46, herself looks the epitome of Zen; her caramel hair tied neatly back from a white shirt, cashmere jumper and pale pink and mint shawl.
But if she looks a picture of calm, it’s a term that is only just making its way back into her life.
Almost four years ago, she was forced out of the job she loved at Yoo Ltd, following an insidious campaign of sexual discrimination that began when she became pregnant and culminated during maternity leave for her second child in 2013.
Humphryes felt that she was being edged out of her £105,000-a-year position as design director for the property company when, during her leave, she was left off credits for a multi-million pound project that was being given glowing press coverage, including in House and Garden.
The second (bigger) clue came when the male replacement in his forties with children, that she’d hired to cover her leave and then become her assistant once she return to work, was being manoeuvred by her bosses to become her senior. It was the final straw in a steadily increasing portfolio of sexist bullying that included being labelled a “supermum” for wanting to travel for the company when she returned from leave.
New motherhood is an emotional upheaval as it is. Women who chose to take time out to have children not only face the challenge of a new baby and a return to work after a long absence, but the anxiety that whoever steps into their work shoes might do a better job, unencumbered by the strain of nursery pick ups, school runs and other rigors of raising a family.
I was totally burnt out by the whole experience. I was just thinking, ‘I should be at home looking after my beautiful son.
Julie Humphryes
It is these emotions that are explored in the the new BBC One drama The Replacement, which premieres tonight. In it, Morven Christie (The A Word) plays Ellen, also a successful, ambitious architect who becomes pregnant and lines up another woman, played with bellicose precision by Vicky McClure (This is England), to be her replacement. A tangle of jealousy, paranoia, escalating hormones and passive aggressive water cooler conversations ensues. Ellen feels she is being usurped by McClure’s character, who is out to get her job and inflict a lot more damage besides.
The script - a real toe-curler - could have walked straight off the pages of Humphryes’ life. While she wasn’t contacted by writer and director Joe Ahearne and, as far as she knows, the story is not based on her experience, no one will be more excited to tune in and see the creative result. She is happy the BBC is tackling the subject for a problem she feels is “so widespread”.
Humphryes, who lives in Kent with her partner and their two children, Ed, now five, and Hanabi, 12, noticed the change in attitude while she was pregnant. An employee at Yoo since 2004, she’d had her daughter Hanabi without issue and blames a “managerial change” on the problems she faced the second time around.
It was a “gut-feeling” at first, gleaned through off-hand remarks and throwaway emails.
“Colleagues said things such as, ‘You won’t want to travel as much once you’ve had your child.’ But if a dad returned to work, after two weeks or six months paternity leave, you wouldn’t automatically assume that he would need to do less hours or work. I was celebrating the idea of having this beautiful person arriving in my life - our second child - , so I convinced myself would be fine when I returned. That it is just my imagination.”
Things didn’t improve. At eight months pregnant she took maternity leave and planned to have six months off before returning to Yoo. Ed was born and the back-to-work conversations began. It was then that the realisation dawned that the company’s restructuring meant the role she’d previously had was being diminished.
At the time, as well as her role at Yoo, she was running Archer Humphryes Architects during evenings and weekends, a relatively small company she founded in 2002, two years before she started at Yoo.
As well as patronising and disparaging comments such as “supermum”, she was told to “calm down” by a Yoo CEO when questioning the companies’ restructure.
It was never about the money; it was about having certain rights upheld and if someone is being unfair, and you have laws to protect you, they should.
Julie Humphryes
“By this time you are going a bit crazy,” says Humphryes. “I just wanted to do what I was doing before.”
He told the tribunal that she was “exhibiting insecurity because she was away from the office and not in touch with what was going on” however itl ruled his “demeanour” was “laced with an element of sexism”.
When she complained that she was being edged out during her leave she was told she was “exhibiting maternity paranoia”. It’s a remark she describes as “stinging”.
“I thought it was completely insulting,” says Humphryes. “It has a stigma attached to it. It is almost like saying you have some sort of illness or skewed thinking just because you are pregnant. Actually, everything I was thinking and feeling was true and really happening.”
An internal appeal that took a year changed little and she quit in despair in 2013 when Ed was one. By then, she’d been put on gardening leave, extended from her maternity leave to sort out what her returning job role would become.
The case went to an employment tribunal where she was eventually vindicated in and awarded £406,000 in damages for sex discrimination.
“By the end, I was totally burnt out by the whole experience. I was just thinking, ‘I should be at home looking after my beautiful son.”
Since the hearing, Humphreys has been contacted by a stream of women who say they have experienced identical confidence-crushing prejudice whilst pregnant or after taking maternity leave. Indeed, figures around the subject are startling: according to The Equality and Human Rights Commission, 54,000 women a year lose their jobs as a direct consequence of maternity or pregnancy discrimination and 77 per cent of working mums endure negative or discriminatory treatment at work.
What’s more, the number of mums who lose their jobs after getting pregnant has almost doubled in 10 years, yet fewer than one per cent raise a tribunal claim. And if 2015’s installation of paternity leave has been a step in the right direction towards equality of parenting and greater acceptance of leave, with only one in 100 men taking it, it has yet to make a marked impact on gender stereotyping.
Joeli Brearley, founder of maternity support website Pregnant Then Screwed, has launched a campaign to extend the time limit to take a case of pregnancy and maternity discrimination to tribunal from three to six months. She blames the one per cent conversion rate on a number of factors.
“Women feel the stress of taking their case to court could impact negatively on the mental health of them or their baby. Tribunal fees are £1,200 plus solicitor’s fees, if you have one, and who has the money for that after having a baby? Others don’t understand the law or their rights and many more wrongly think, ‘I’ve had a baby: fair enough I’m having problems with my employer.’”
Humphryes admits that taking the case to tribunal was a tough decision, not least for the stress would cause her and her family. She had cognitive behavior therapy to help her cope and channeled her energy into her private firm instead.
Still, it dented her confidence and ruined what should have been a precious time at home with her son. She estimates the case has cost her £400,000 through legal costs and solicitors' fees and while the payout was £406,000, she has yet to see a penny as the company that employed Humphryes has appointed liquidators and its CEO filed for bankruptcy.
Joeli Brearley, who has seen many women go through courts, attests that many do not realise the magnitude of doing so. “Sexual discrimination is a nuanced issue that is notoriously hard to prove. Building a case can feel like David versus Goliath with might of a corporation is against you. I’ve heard women who have gone through the process say they feel as if they are on trial for murder.”
In a tone that has long since made peace with a deeply unfair situation Humphryes says, “It is a horror story and they’ve got away with it, I suppose.”
Her savings took the hit and she has buried herself in work for the past three years to compensate. “My barrister would say I have the moral victory, even if I don’t have the financial victory. But it was never about the money; it was about having certain rights upheld and if someone is being unfair and you have laws to protect you, they should.”
The Replacement begins tonight on BBC One, 9pm