This Is What Would Happen If Men Had Periods

Nikki Barr

Periods are a traumatic experience. There are no two ways about it.

Hysterical meltdowns on public transport when someone eyes up your family-sized chocolate bar, wholly unacceptable arguements that stem from absolutely nothing, gaining 8lbs overnight, crying at the gym, crying in the lunch queue, crying at the microwave for taking so long with your porridge, crying any where...

Suddenly eating a family-sized Cadbury bar would be acceptable.
Suddenly eating a family-sized Cadbury bar would be acceptable.

These are all things women go through on a monthly basis, while the men in our lives watch on in horror and quote Southpark at us on a daily basis ("Well, I'm sorry Wendy, but I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die").

Thankfully, the people at WaterAid have collated some stern truths for the men in our lives on what their lives would be like if they were the ones coping with the crimson wave.

Putting together these three lolz-worthy clips, WaterAid polled 2,000 people on how they think the world would change #ifmenhadperiods to raise awareness of the 1.25 billion women globally who don't have access to a toilet during their period.

Here are their [slightly hilarious] findings:

- Nearly a third believe that sports commentators would openly discuss how players' menstrual cycles would affect their performance. Lolz

- One in ten think that trainers and coaches would try to synch-up periods for their players, while a fifth thought bookmakers would factor a player’s menstrual cycle into their odds.

- Half thought that Manpax would launch a successful sports range tampon and that footballers would endorse chocolate flavoured energy drinks ‘for that time of the month’, while white sportswear would be banned.

Manpons would release a sports range. Obviously.
Manpons would release a sports range. Obviously.

- A third thought men would brag about their periods, congratulating each other with a slap on the back for overcoming another month of hell.

A fifth think celebratory ceremonies would exist to mark a boys first period and welcome him into manhood, and a third thought that boys would show off at school about ‘coming on’ for the first time.

- A fifth also believe that men would update their Facebook statuses to tell everyone that they were on their period, share period emojis (what are these period emojis?!) with their friends and that #imonmyperiod would trend on twitter.

WaterAid are calling on people to sign their ‘Make it Happen’ petition to help improve basic hygiene around the world with access to toilets and taps.

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