Blogger pens honest post about realities of breastfeeding and urges other mums to stop judging

A parenting blogger has penned an honest post about her struggles with breastfeeding [Photo: Instagram/newmumstheword]

Breast Vs bottle. Sigh. It’s the age old feeding debate that refuses to run out of steam. But while experts agree that breastfeeding could be better for your baby in terms of benefits, what happens if it’s simply not possible?

One new mum who found herself in that exact position has penned a powerful essay on Instagram asking others to be mindful that the decision about how to feed your baby can be a complicated one.

Jules Coffey, 30, a parenting blogger from Newcastle, New South Wales, took to social media to open up about the realities of breastfeeding and how challenging it can be for some mums. Sharing her own breastfeeding struggles the mum of one-year-old Emmison explained to her 30.7K followers that while she believes “breast is best” it isn’t always possible.

“What about when your baby is losing weight, you have no milk, your baby is up all through the night starving? Is it still best?” she wrote.

“When your baby is dehydrated & you have absolutely nothing left to give.

“You try everything under the sun to feed your baby but it screams & screams & can’t understand why it isn’t getting a full tummy from the person that is responsible for giving it one. Is it still best?”

She went on to explain that though it is upsetting enough for a mum to be having breastfeeding struggles, what can make things even harder is the judgemental comments you often receive from others.

“To be shamed and made to feel like formula is the devil is disgusting & I’m calling it out,” she continued.

The new mum wants the shaming to stop [Photo: Instagram/newmumstheword]

Jules explained that she battled for almost eight months to feed her daughter, seeing specialists, pumping religiously, but after around four months she found she was no longer making enough milk to be able to feed Emmison.

“When do you draw the line on breastfeeding & not being so selfish that your child suffers? Does is matter when they are 30?” she asked. “Am I supposed to call mothers group at 2am & ask someone to pop over & bring me some milk?”

When Jules eventually gave in and gave her daughter a bottle of formula she says she felt like she’d “failed as a mother”, but looking back now she feels the opposite is in fact true.

“I loved my baby enough, to put my needs aside & FEED HER. To give her a full tummy. To make sure she knew that no matter how I would never make her feel like she is going without. I loved her that much.”

The blogger goes on to explain that she hasn’t written the post because she is pro-formula, she just wants the shaming of other mothers’ choices to stop.

“Everyone needs to be happy with their own choices. If I could have breastfed easily up until now maybe I wouldn’t feel this way but I have seen first hand myself & my close friends struggle & there needs to be an understanding for those who struggle.”

The new mum claims that even when she was battling mastitis she couldn’t understand why anyone would choose to give up breastfeeding, but believes you only truly understand when your baby isn’t thriving and you’ve hit rock bottom.

“I love nothing more then seeing pictures & people successfully breastfeeding because it’s the best way to feed your baby and it actually makes me feel so warm knowing that people can do it successfully for a long time but it doesn’t define you as a mother,” she says.

“If you can’t, you have tried everything, you are broken and your baby is suffering. Then when do you draw the line?” she asks.

Concluding her post, Jules says she doesn’t want to preach her views but she doesn’t want other mums to feel like she did.

“It’s not ok for me to preach to anyone on my views but it’s also not ok for anyone else to make people feel bad for putting their baby first instead of their own wants,” she finishes.

Though Jules breastfeed for eight months, after four months she wasn’t producing enough milk [Photo: Instagram/newmumstheword]

Since sharing the empowering post has been liked over 1350 times and received hundreds of comments from others who could relate and praising the new mum for her refreshing honesty.

“I think there’s so much hype around this. Fed is best in my opinion,” one woman wrote. “I know of lots of babies who are thriving and they’ve never tasted breastmilk either because the mums had complications or simply by choice. I fed my little one for 10 weeks with breastmilk and then stopped producing enough for her and she was underweight so for the past week and a half she’s had nothing but formula and loves it. I had complications from the get go with having to use a shield every feed and then getting mastitis at 4wks. She’s so much happier now, and so am I.”

“My theory is whatever works best for you and your baby. We are all so quick to judge one way or the other, but in reality no one knows what happens behind closed doors,” added another.

“Well said! I experienced this first hand & felt like s**t that I couldn’t breastfeed. Thanks for being so honest & sharing your feelings,” another mum commented.

What are your views on the breast/bottle debate? Let us know @YahooStyleUK

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