Bisexual women on the major differences between dating people of different genders
For bisexual, pansexual and queer folk who've dated people of more than one gender, it's likely they've noticed differences in the way those relationships and sexual experiences have gone down. Personally, the thing that's shook me most about dating women is all the bloody crying. I'm either orgasming or dehydrated from weeping - these are the two official emotional states banging women don't @ me. The memes really don't lie. With the men I've been in relationships with, there was certainly much less of both.
These bisexual women took to Reddit to explain the major differences they've noticed in their experiences of dating (mainly cisgender, monosexual) men and women. Obviously, we're not in the game of making generalisations about an entire gender (gender isn't binary, it's a spectrum hun!), so don't get all #NotAllMen about it.
1."For me it's the emotional connection. I am in my first relationship with a woman and it is the most beautiful thing that has happened to me. I honestly didn't know love like this was possible. It comes so much more naturally with women, and I find women are all around more thoughtful, kind, and caring, respectful and our relationship is just so much deeper. I feel extremely supported and loved. Also women care more about meeting your sexual needs, and sex generally lasts way longer and is much more intimate. Im bi, but I never plan on dating a man again in my life after finding out love could be so good." [via]
2."Men: more emotional labour, they expect to be coddled, disappointing in bed 8/10 times, I’m a lot more closed off emotionally since they’re exhaustive. Women: super intense romances, hard and fast, better at showing love, way too much miscommunication sometimes though, things can get too demanding, heartbreak resounds 100 times more." [via]
3."I hit the jackpot with my boyfriend. He is bisexual and I feel that makes him kinda not really stick to the cis-hetero-male stereotypes. That being said, men seem to have something to prove usually. In most of my relationships with men I had to repress much of myself to be more modest, keep my hair longer, not be a 'crazy feminist'. I was expected to carry most of the emotional burden and baby my ex-boyfriends. However, men were typically (though more controlling in certain ways) lower maintenance and easier to please. Women seem more emotionally exhausting, however. One ex specifically was taxing emotionally, needing reassurance constantly. The sex was usually a lot better and kinkier, I could be myself more, and I was usually comfortable a lot faster and we would click easier." [via]
A post shared by Frustrated Bi (@bi_memes.and.pride) on Mar 17, 2019 at 1:32pm PDT
4."To me, the biggest difference is the emotional aspect. Granted, it depends on the individual but usually with men, you carry most of the emotional labour and it is very hard to get them to communicate meaningfully when there is an issue. It's a bit of a battle to get men to open up, it takes patience and also emotional labour from you, which is a contrast from women who are more open to starting communication from the get go." [via]
5."Better lines of communication with women, the sex is much better, and I also feel more comfortable around women - in that, with things like stretch marks and not wearing makeup, I know there will be no judging because she can relate." [via]
6."I've dated men and women and there have been relatively few differences. Maybe I just have a type! When dating men I've struggled with the power imbalance, wondering if I'm being mansplained to, worrying that I'm conforming to stereotypes by cooking for him etc. Women are also better at communication, both in frequency and talking about their feelings. With men it's a lot harder to gauge how they're feeling, and they are far more likely to call me over-sensitive or say I'm over-reacting. That's from my experience anyway, I'm sure it's not always like that." [via]
A post shared by Godimsuchadyke (@godimsuchadyke) on Jun 22, 2019 at 1:48pm PDT
7."The women I've dated have been more likely to parade me around like a trophy and praise me for being hot, to the point I'm uncomfortable. Men are more likely to treat me like I'm not hot enough for them, and quickly move on to someone hotter. Sex lasts longer with women and there's pretty much a guaranteed orgasm, usually more than one, whereas no guarantee with men. I've found a mix of emotionally needy and emotionally distant in both." [via]
8."[With women] it's just nice to unload to someone about all the troubles unique to being a woman, without having to give a history lesson or explain why something that many men would consider innocent, like being told to smile, is infuriating as a woman. Don't get me wrong, a man who cares about you will listen and validate your feelings, but it's tiring to both have to vent and educate at the same time." [via]
9."The men I've dated have been low maintenance but high emotional labour, the women have been higher maintenance and taken more emotional energy. My house stays nice and tidy and I don't feel like a pseudo-mum with women, but I'm fucking exhausted." [via]
10."I'm in my first relationship with a woman and while the emotional connection is amazing, it does take a lot more communication and effort. So many emotions to deal with on both sides!" [via]
A post shared by Panzz (@pansexual_pans) on Mar 20, 2019 at 3:42am PDT
11."It was really surprising to me how stuff I would secretly wonder about with guys was just more easily understood with women. Either they could intuit it, or I would just feel fine communicating directly. For me, that means I lost some of the 'sexiness' of mystique-cultivation, but made up for it in emotional development. Not worrying about how you’ll come off in certain ways is incredibly freeing." [via]
12. I’m generalising across my own experiences, but it seems like when heavy emotional issues arise a woman is more likely to engage/talk about it with you than a man. In breakups I find this means that the woman tries more to 'negotiate' the breakup. A man's response to being broken up with (by me) is often just to walk away quietly." [via]
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