Bachelor Party Guest Refuses to Follow Groom's No-Alcohol Rule: 'I Want to Let Loose'
"I said, 'hell no.' I spent a lot on this trip already," the guest wrote on Reddit
A man invited to a bachelor party says he plans to ignore the groom's request to not drink "in solidarity" with him because he wants to "let loose."
In a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A------?" forum, the man, 35, explained that he and a large group of friends are going to Lake Tahoe for three days to celebrate their friend's bachelor party. The trip was proposed by the groom last spring, but a week ago he revealed to his guests that his fiancée is three months pregnant and he quit drinking when he learned the news.
"It would mean no drinking on the bachelor party," the OP [original poster] wrote. "In solidarity, he asked we don't drink also."
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The OP said "the gist" of his response to this idea was "hell no," as he argued that he has "spent a lot on this trip already" and is using "vacation time" to take off work. He also noted that he is a father to a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old and therefore "doesn't get out much" now.
"I thought a few days with the boys to let loose would be awesome," he wrote, sharing that not being able to enjoy some drinks would put a damper on his Tahoe experience.
"I want to do stuff I'm going to enjoy. I understood that we're going for the groom, but I invested a lot of resources in this trip and I want to enjoy it," the OP explained. "I want to sit at a blackjack table and suck down a half dozen Coronas if my funds last long enough."
"I'm still going to drink," he insisted.
As a small compromise to the groom, however, the OP said he has offered "a day and night to stay sober" during the trip — "but that was not taken well."
While he noted that half of the group agrees with him on this and a few others are "indifferent," the best man — who is "leading the charge" on getting everyone to honor the groom's no-drinking request — has told the OP he's "an a------" and "a sh---y friend."
The man's post received more than 1,000 comments, with many people taking his side.
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"NTA [not the a------] in my book," one person wrote. "I don't understand why people cannot be happy unless everyone is doing/acting/thinking identical to them. Furthermore, it's a bachelor party. The bachelor himself should be telling everybody to handle it however they want. The only exception to this is if the groom is in recovery from alcoholism, as I would not want to jeopardize his sobriety."
Someone else shared their opinion that the groom is making an unreasonable request and needs to get comfortable with being around people drinking amid his newfound sobriety.
"I'm shocked this would even be proposed for a friends trip," they wrote. "People quit drinking all the time, and need to understand that one of the challenges of going sober is that you have to be prepared for people around you to drink."
Still, other commenters argued that the OP is making the Tahoe trip all about himself and his needs and forgetting the bigger picture that the group is going there to support and celebrate their friend.
"You have mixed up the reason for your trip. You see this as a vacation, and everyone else sees it as a commitment to be with your friend during an important event in their life," one Reddit user wrote. "You are certainly entitled to do whatever you want while on this trip, just don't be surprised when the activities that you are required to take part in seem less welcoming to the drunk or hungover guy."
Another person agreed, commenting: "I get that you were looking forward to this trip. On the other hand, this isn’t your event and it’s not about you. Someone else’s bachelor party isn’t actually YOUR vacation. It’s a trip for and about someone else. You should be doing what he wants, that’s the literal only point of the trip — to celebrate him and his future."
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