Séayoncé’s Perky Nativititties review – smut comes down Santa’s chimney
The festive season can be isolating – so here comes drag queen Séayoncé with an “anti-Christmas” show designed to tear the tinsel down. But when the cameras start rolling in this supposed broadcast for Satan TV, the Christmas spirit possesses her, and our hostess – rictus grin plastered across face – starts parroting seasonal platitudes. So begins a battle royal between Séayoncé, her “murderous accomplice” (and pianist) Leslie-Anne and her former flame, Santa, who is bent on defending all those festive traditions under attack.
That’s the premise for Séayoncé’s Perky Nativititties, the latest show from Dan Wye’s “ghost whisperer” alter ego in theatre-curtain kaftan and turban. At its best, it’s a gleefully iconoclastic outlet for festive – or “fist-ive” – queer joy, as Séayoncé leads the audience in a 12 Days of Christmas singalong, adapted to chronicle the lurid death of a fake Santa. The best of several musical numbers recasts Ding Dong Merrily on High as a narcotic odyssey, starring Meryl Streep, Glo-o-o-oria Gaynor and a swarm of invisible bats in the sky. The pair’s Stepford Wives parody of mainstream seasonal telly, too, is delivered with a droll degree of repugnance.
At its worst, its spirit of subversion dissipates into uninspired sex comedy. Jesus is revived as a Sloaney gay man, the refrain to whose Little Drummer Boy refit runs “cum in my bum”. Santa’s bestiality fetish surfaces in a witless song about sex with pets, accompanied by audience members compelled to dance sexily onstage. No third-hand double entendre (coming down chimneys, emptying sacks, etc) is resisted. Hatchet-faced Leslie-Anne (Robyn Herfellow), meanwhile, shares her homicidal fantasies about Santa, at which my spirit, Christmas or otherwise, did not soar.
If this is what anti-Christmas looks like, audiences may choose to stick with boughs of holly and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. But Wye does redeem even these ropey moments with a winningly conspiratorial air, giggling at his own juvenile delinquency. The show ends with affecting sentiment, as Séayoncé hymns queer camaraderie at a testing time of year. Much that precedes that, alas, is more ho-hum than ho ho ho.
