We asked 7 people how they knew they didn't want children

• It's becoming more common for people to choose to be child-free.

• Seven people shared why they don't want to be parents.

• Some never desired kids, while others felt that bringing a child into this world would be unfair.

For a long time, it was a societal expectation that people would grow up, get married, and have 2.5 kids.

However, that's changing.

From concerns about overpopulation and the environment to a simple desire to remain independent, more and more people just don't want children.

Business Insider spoke to seven people about why they're not interested in being parents, and their answers ranged from practical concerns about parenthood to just never feeling the desire to have kids.

Itzett Romero

Age: 37

Job: Digital marketer and content creator

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: Romero told BI she knew from a young age, as she spent much of her adolescence helping to care for her younger siblings.

Why she doesn't want them: Romero is the oldest of three children, and because of the large age gap with her siblings, she did a lot of childcare growing up. She understood the sacrifices people make when they have children, and it wasn't something she wanted for herself.

"I grew up very much understanding not just the Disney version or what the media portrays as having kids, but the more realistic version of having kids," she said.

She also thinks the American government and society don't do enough to support parents, particularly mothers.

"Women are very much taking on the burden of motherhood, as well as everything else, by themselves," she said. "I personally don't think that's fair."

"There's also something to be said about the fact that motherhood is just not for everybody," she added. "I have so much ambition. There are so many things I want to do."

How people have responded to her choice: "I have been lucky that I have surrounded myself with friends and family who have always respected my decision," she said.

Romero said she sometimes gets pushback from people she isn't close to but looks inward for acceptance instead of outward.

"I have stopped trying to get validation from people who don't understand my decision-making," she added.

What she's most excited about for her future: "As a content creator, I'm very passionate about human rights and collective liberation," Romero told BI.

"I'm excited to have the time, and the space, and the purpose to be able to do these things," she said. "I am a child of immigrant parents, and I'm looking forward to being a voice for that experience."

Anaïs Chantal

Age: 26

Job: Project manager, personal assistant, and bookkeeper in the music industry

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: In 2020, Chantal became friends with a woman who wouldn't have kids.

"I had in my head that I was going to grow up, get married, and have three children," she said. "When she said that, it was like, 'Oh, you can choose to do that. That's an option.'"

"I really started to self-reflect on why I wanted children," she said. "Did I actually want kids, or was I just conditioned to want children?"

Why she doesn't want them: Chantal said her mental health is one of the biggest reasons she wants to remain child-free. She told BI she is a victim of sexual assault and thinks giving birth, breastfeeding, and raising a child could be triggering for her.

"I don't normally tell people this, but there might be somebody out there that has this conflict, and I want people to know that they're not alone," she added. "My mental health is really important, and I don't want to put myself through that. And I also don't want to put my child through that because kids can pick up on things."

Chantal also said that she just doesn't think kids are something she needs to feel fulfilled and joyful.

"I have friends with kids, and they're the sweetest little things, but I really value my peace and being able to come home to peace and quiet," she said.

How people have responded to her choice: "My parents, of course, were initially sad," Chantal said. "But when I sat them down and told them my reasons, they were like, 'You know, it sounds like you really thought this through.'"

She also said she surrounded herself with people who don't want children, both in person and online, which gave her a sense of community.

Chantal had her fallopian tubes removed at 24 once she decided to remain child-free. Her insurance covered the procedure, and she said she felt relieved when it was done.

"I can remember getting wheeled out and waking up and seeing my partner with the biggest smile on my face," she said. "I was so, so happy."

What she's most excited about for her future: Chantal plans to move to New York with her partner next year. Eventually, they hope to settle in a more remote desert area with their dog.

"I just want to see the world, and I'm excited for my freedom," she said. "It does feel like the possibilities are endless for me."

Israa Nasir

Age: 37

Job: A therapist and the author of "Toxic Productivity"

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: "The feeling of wanting to have kids just never came," Nasir told BI.

She said her friends often imagined themselves as moms during imaginative play when they were children, but she pretended to be an explorer or adventurer.

"Even when I hit high school, I never really imagined a future where I was having a kid, but at that time, I didn't know that there was a thing of not having kids because everybody around me had children," she said.

"As I grew older, I started realizing this is a thing," she added. "There are some people who don't have children."

Eventually, Nasir realized she had fallen into that group.

Why she doesn't want them: "I'm very happy around kids," Nasir said. "I think they're very interesting. You can learn a lot from them."

However, Nasir told BI she's "not interested in parenting."

"It doesn't fit the lifestyle I've built for myself over the last 15 years," she said. "I would have to shift a lot to accommodate a child."

"I'm a therapist, and I know how important it is to have parents who are present, connected, and engaged," Nasir continued. "I think that my role in the world is different."

"Everybody has a role that they take on in this world, and when people have kids, a lot of their life, especially for the first five years, starts revolving around their children," Nasir said, adding that she's "not able to do that."

How people have responded to her choice: Nasir said she and her husband were on the same page about not having kids but her choice has been more surprising for other family members.

"I'm South Asian. This is a very big part of our culture, so I definitely got a lot of disappointment and anger from my mom," she said, adding that her mom still has not accepted her decision.

She also thinks her dad is sad about not being a grandpa, and some of her friends have expressed that she and her husband would have been great parents.

"I make a lot of space for other people's grief on this because they lose something when I make a decision," Nasir said. "It doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to it, and it does not mean that I have to feel guilty about it."

What she's most excited about for her future: "I am excited about building something that I can leave behind for others that makes their life a little better," she said. "One person can't change the whole world, but I want to add an impact."

"On a personal level, I'm really excited about being able to have experiences with my partner and have adventures and have a really big life on my terms," she added.

TJ Turner

Age: 38

Job: Engineer at a power company

When he knew he didn't want to have kids: Turner reflected on how kids could fit into his life after his father died in 2014. His dad was part of two unplanned pregnancies, including his conception.

"Not to insult myself, but I realized I didn't want to make that same mistake," he said. "That's kind of when I decided this isn't for me."

Turner decided to get a vasectomy when he was 28.

Why he doesn't want them: "I just didn't think that I would be good parent material," Turner told BI.

He said the financial and physical toll of parenting, like a lack of sleep, didn't appeal to him. He also didn't think he could take care of his mental health and be the kind of parent he wanted.

"In this day and age, it's so hard to focus on yourself that I don't know how people can not only focus on their own mental health but also focus on the health of their children on top of working full-time," he said.

How people have responded to his choice: Turner was already married when he decided to get a vasectomy, and he said his wife was supportive of his choice. His mom also supported him, though she was "sad initially" that she wouldn't have grandchildren.

"I tried to explain to her, like, 'Look, it's not because I think you raised me poorly or I had a bad childhood. It's honestly more because I know I will never be as good of parents as you were,'" Turner said.

"I think she understood that, and I think she respects that," he said.

What he's most excited about for his future: Turner told BI he's glad his future is flexible thanks to the independence. He can foster his love of motorcycling or go on a date with his wife without worrying about childcare.

"I can pay for my own retirement, own houses, and just live comfortably," he said.

Kathryn Hoffman

Age: 33

Job: Marketing professional

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: Hofman said she always knew, on some level, children weren't part of her life plan. In fact, her late grandfather knew she didn't want children before she did.

"I was not the serial dater," she said. "I didn't typically bring folks around, so everyone assumed it was pretty serious when I brought my husband home. Somebody asked something about children, and my grandfather just chimed in and was like, 'She doesn't want kids.'"

"And I was like, 'You know what? I don't,'" she said.

Why she doesn't want them: "I have a lot of ambitions," she said. "I'm not saying a mom can't accomplish a lot of things, but I really value my ability to assign success to myself and not assign success to what I've done for other people in my adult life."

"I think there are many, many things that I would have to prioritize differently if I were to be a mom," Hofman added.

How people have responded to her choice: "One of the things that people tell me often in response to the statement that I don't want children is, 'Oh, but you would be so good at it,'" Hofman said.

"The idea that I would be exceptionally good at it is one of the deterrents," she told BI. "I know myself well enough to know that if I were to become a mother, I would put all of my effort and energy into that child versus myself."

"Whether that's selfish or not, I'm sort of indifferent to that," she said. "I value my relationships as they are, my relationship with my husband and my relationship with myself."

What she's most excited about for her future: Hofman is an aspiring author, so she's looking forward to starting the querying process in 2025.

She also hopes to learn more and travel with her husband. They plan to head to New Zealand together and Disney World with her niece and nephews.

"That was one of the very few things I felt like I might miss out on not becoming a mom is that first time taking kids to Disney, so I'm borrowing my niece and nephews, and we're going to go do that with them," she said.

"There's just a lot of opportunity and things that come with the freedom of not owing your life and raising somebody else. You can raise yourself and go from there," Hofman said.

Whitney S.

Age: 38

Job: Nursing home staffer

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: When she was 17, Whitney watched a video of a woman giving birth in a college-level health class. The reality of giving birth shocked her — and made her sure she didn't want to go through the experience herself.

"I didn't tell anyone because you can't say that when you're 17," she told BI. "Nobody will believe you."

"But no matter what phase in life, no matter how old I was, I said, 'A kid is not going to fit in this,'" Whitney added.

Why she doesn't want them: "With the way things have been going and the way things will be, I don't see a reason to bring a child into this world," she said, pointing to the climate crisis as one of her concerns. "I don't feel like it's safe enough."

Whitney also said she doesn't want to take on the physical and mental risks of pregnancy and motherhood. She thinks many people take the responsibility of becoming parents too lightly.

"I know people who really want kids, and they're preparing for that financially and mentally," she said. "But I know too many people who have not … and the kids always suffer."

How people have responded to her choice: Whitney said she is estranged from some of her family members, who are disappointed she isn't having children, even though there are other kids in her family. She also said her decision impacted her dating life.

"For seven years, I was single," Whitney told BI. "That's a large reason I was single for so long."

Whitney has a boyfriend now, and she said she told him early in their relationship that she didn't want to have children.

What she's most excited about for her future: Whitney has fostered a community with other child-free people on social media and said she's eager to keep growing it and connecting with like-minded people.

"I get a lot of enjoyment out of it despite all the negativity," she said. "I told myself there's gotta be at least one person that can relate to what I'm saying."

Jessica Hawk

Age: 55

Job: Retired high-school teacher and content creator

When she knew she didn't want to have kids: Hawk said she never felt the urge to be a mother, even as a child.

Watching her friends become parents made it clear to Hawk that having kids wasn't for her.

"I had so many goals and aspirations for myself," Hawk said. "I knew from my friends who started having kids in their 20s just how much time, effort, and energy, mentally and physically, kids took."

"When I saw real-life examples of exhaustion, I definitely knew it was not the path for me," she added.

Why she doesn't want them: "When you decide to become a parent, you have to be ready for every possible scenario that could come up," Hawk said. "That includes having a child who might have special needs and will need care for the rest of his or her life."

"You have the possibility of the marriage not lasting," she added. "What would it be like to be a single mother?"

"When you think of all the variables that can come up with having children, it was more reasons for me to say I'm not ready to accept any of those variables," Hawk said.

How people have responded to her choice: Hawk didn't have pressure from her family to have children, which made her decision easier.

"I come from a long line of child-free women on both sides of my family," she added. "I always had real-life examples of child-free people thriving in my life."

Still, when she married her ex-husband — who also didn't want children — Hawk said people asked them within hours of the moment they said "I do" when kids were coming.

"At the beginning of the reception, I said, 'Oh, you know, we don't want to have children,' and the pushback I got: 'Oh, you'll change your mind.' 'You're too young.' 'You just got married.'"

"I'm like, 'Can I eat my cake?'" Hawk said.

What she's most excited about for her future: "I am at a point in my life now where I put myself in a really good financial situation," she said. "I live in my own large apartment and have peace and quiet. I travel extensively with my boyfriend and friends. I have such freedom to live my life in a way that is not a grind."

"I just feel completely unfettered and to the point where I can really just have fun, and I think not everybody has that opportunity," she added. "I'm going to take it to the fullest extent I can."

Read the original article on Business Insider