What It's Like To Fly When You're Fat
The democratic force of the internet means that we're hearing more diverse voices than ever. Thank goodness.
Blogs and social media platforms like Instagram and Twitter mean people can speak out on issues they feel strongly about, untempered by editor, advertiser or agenda-fuelled newspaper magnate.
One of the problems that minority voices come up against is the lack of understanding around the specific issues they deal with. Because the 'majority', or more importantly, the represented, do not go through the same experiences, so they can be discounted or ignored.
How fat people experience the world is one of the issues that has seen increased attention recently. Roxane Gay's new book 'Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body', discusses such issues, including the fat phobia she experiences daily, including on planes.
Recently, 'plus-size' model Natalie Hage outed a fellow passenger on her flight for fat-shaming her over texts that she saw. She filmed an exchange in which she explained to the passenger why it was unacceptable to treat her this way.
Now there is a new thread from fat activist, 'Your Fat Friend' who uses her Twitter platform (and her role as a journalist) to start conversations around all things fat.
Diabetic fats: how do you feel when people around you joke about diabetes? What message does it send you?
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 24, 2017
She asks questions of her followers, encouraging debate.
The person who sent this to me is a father of two, and has sent multiple emails calling me a "tub of lard" & "a fat piece of shit." pic.twitter.com/CDd5eJkzUQ
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 20, 2017
She posts screenshots, showing the horrible abuse she receives for daring to be honest.
Reminder: your body is not an indictment of your character, work ethic, willpower, beliefs, or politics. Neither is anyone else's. 💜
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) March 27, 2017
She writes reminders, to help uplift her 'fellow fats'.
And, she writes kick-ass Threads, explaining her quotidian experiences, like this one about aeroplanes.
So, I'm on a plane today. Here's what I did to prepare to fly as a very fat person. (Thread.)
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
She opens by discussing the crazy bureaucratic and financial issues around trying to get on a flight.
I researched airlines for their "customer of size" policies, many of which reserve the right to kick me off the plane, even after boarding.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The rest require purchase of a second seat. If I don't buy one in advance, I'll be charged the day-of price. Today, that's $800 one way.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm charged for that second seat regardless of whether one is available. I pay double for the privilege of staying on the plane.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Even if I buy a second seat in advance, the airline may still sell it to another passenger. If they do, I won't be notified or refunded.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I bought a round trip first class ticket for this trip--about $900 more than a coach ticket, but on this flight--still less $ than 2 seats.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
'Your Fat Friend' explains how fellow passengers actually pose a greater threat for her ability to travel.
I brought my own seatbelt extender, so I wouldn't have to ask for one. Sometimes my extender is confiscated by the TSA. Today it wasn't.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm not worried about the embarrassment of asking for a seatbelt extender. I know I'm fat.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I'm worried that hearing me ask for an extender will prompt others to complain. If they do, it starts a domino effect of trouble for me.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Passengers complaining to flight attendants will get me reseated, charged double, or escorted off the plane, stranded without a way home.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
This culminates in a feeling of humiliation, since she feels she is treated like an object, as opposed to a person, tragically explaining, 'As a very fat person on a plane, I am treated like luggage--a cumbersome, exasperating inconvenience. Inanimate & unfeeling.'
Over the last 2 yrs, about 50% of passengers in my row complained about me. So, my body is regularly discussed in my presence w/o my input.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Some policies don't include a refund or rebooking policy. So I could be out $1300 & still stranded. That's a risk I take every time I fly.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
And no matter what happens, if someone complains, my body will be discussed loudly, with open revulsion, without regard for who hears it.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
As a very fat person on a plane, I am treated like luggage--a cumbersome, exasperating inconvenience. Inanimate & unfeeling.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The anonymous writer explains that her entire journey centres around ensuring she makes everyone around her as comfortable as possible.
I also checked my bag so I wouldn't give any other passengers another reason to be irritated with me.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I bought a first class tickets bc they're a bit wider, but mostly because there are partitions between seats. So complaints are less likely.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Although I bought a first class ticket, and despite being ~60 lbs smaller than I used to be, the tray table doesn't fit around me.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
Without a tray table, I can't work for the full six hours. I also won't be able to eat the first class meal that comes with the ticket.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
I also won't request anything so the flight attendant doesn't have to reach over me, again prompting my seat mate to complain.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
So I'll sit silently, arms crossed, so I don't encroach on my neighbor's space.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
She calmly stating, 'No one likes flying. It's not comfortable for anyone. But for some of us, it's a major physical, financial & emotional risk.'
Today, I was lucky--I boarded & the flight took off without incident. I hope I'm so lucky on my return flight.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
No one likes flying. It's not comfortable for anyone. But for some of us, it's a major physical, financial & emotional risk.
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 17, 2017
The thread continues, detailing the first time she was the subject of another passenger's complaint, and how it led her to stop flying for a year and a half, despite the fact her family lives over 1000 miles away.
Her thread is an attempt to change how people like her are treated when they are trying to get from one place to the next.
She even details the experience in more detail in this article.
And whilst some people read this thread and saw a competent account of someone's struggle for dignity, others saw an opportunity to prove her completely right.
Instead of doing all this and going through all the hassle... JUST LOSE WEIGHT 😩😩😩
- boycie (@altgay_) July 18, 2017
Some responses to the journalist's tweets have called for her to lose weight and to have more respect for her other passengers.
You shouldn't fly if you impede on the comfort of others. Diet, drive, or book a train car. Tough love cookie.
- GullibleFools (@GullibleFools) July 19, 2017
Oversized people should pay more for airplane flights! You are unhealthy and dying! We should incentive a healthy lifestyle.
- Elvis Spazenelli (@ESpazenelli69) July 19, 2017
And, of course, there were Twitter's residential pseudo-Doctors who swooped in to give their not-so-expert opinions.
Thankfully, there were people who really considered 'Your Fat Friend''s story, one person even wrote an open apology to her, describing how they, themselves, have fat-shamed before.
Waiting in the airport when I saw this extraordinary message. Folks who have been asking what to do differently: here you go. ❤️ https://t.co/9QDfiazxNO
- your fat friend (@yrfatfriend) July 20, 2017
Whatever the medical issues surrounding obesity are, obese people are just that, people, who deserve the respect and care afforded to everyone else.
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