Amanda Abbington's heartbreaking reason for split from Martin Freeman as she 'considered suicide'
Amanda Abbington is back in the spotlight after a Newsnight interview, where she spoke about her feelings following her misconduct allegations against pro dancer Giovanni Pernice. The 52 year old actress appeared on the show on Wednesday, 2 October, following the conclusion of the BBC's investigation into her treatment during the filming of Strictly Come Dancing, which saw her issued with an apology – but where some of the stronger accusations against Giovanni were also thrown out.
Long before Amanda stepped onto the ballroom floor, fans at home knew her best for starring in BBC show Sherlock, where she played the character of Mary Morstan - the love interest of John Watson, played by Martin Freeman. However while the couple’s relationship ended in tragedy onscreen, many viewers may not have been aware that the pair were actually married in real life, however that too sadly ended in tragedy of a different kind.
The couple first met back in 2000 while working together on the set of the film Men Only. Striking up a friendship, sparks soon began to fly between Amanda and Martin, with the couple slowly beginning to fall head over heels for each other. Allowing their lives to intersect both on and off screen, the duo went on to star on screen together numerous other times, including in The Debt, The Good Night, and The Robinsons, but their most iconic performances are perhaps in Sherlock.
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During their relationship, Martin and Amanda never tied the knot, but they did live happily together in a quaint Hertfordshire home and welcomed two children together, a son Joe and a daughter Grace. Sadly, the couple decided to end their relationship in 2016, but chose to keep the split a secret from everyone for around six months before it was publicly revealed.
Opening up about her split, Amanda told The Sunday Times Magazine: ”When we broke up nobody knew, we didn't tell anybody except for a few key people because they had to know, because of the logistics of hotels and stuff. It took six months for it to get out and a lot of that was while we were working on Sherlock... We were professional and we were going to get on and make a show and be civil to each other."
She added: "We still get on really well, we still really both admire each other as actors... he's a great guy, but we just couldn't live with each other anymore."
Like many of us who have experienced a break-up, the split also impacted on Amanda’s mental health, something she candidly opened up about on the Full Disclosure podcast, as she described herself as a ‘mess’ that had been left ‘hating herself’ and at her worst, Amanda even contemplated taking her own life.
"It was breaking up with Martin and then realising I needed to sort myself out because I was a bit of a mess. I hated myself," she explained. Feeling as though she had let the people around her down, the star’s mantra soon became "You could always kill yourself".
She continued: "That was a genuine option for me, quite a few times in my life. Then I don't have to be this bad person because I don't have to be here anymore."
Thankfully, Amanda was able to seek help and began therapy to stop herself from feeling so low and as a result was able to find love and happiness again with former daredevil Jonathan Goodwin. In addition, Martin has also since moved on and is currently dating actress Rachel Mariam, who is known for starring in BBC's Normal People, alongside Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal.
While Amanda has issued fresh claims about Giovanni's behaviour during her Strictly training, a spokesperson for Giovanni welcomed the BBC's review and said they were “pleased that this six-month review has not found any evidence of threatening or abusive behaviour by Giovanni."
They continued: "Giovanni is relieved that the overwhelming majority of allegations out to the BBC have not been upheld and looks forward to continuing his work on Dancing With The Stars in Italy this season.”
If you've been affected by any of the issues in this story you can contact Samaritans in the UK and Ireland on freephone 116 123, or email jo@samaritans.org or jo@samaritans.ie