On-off relationships, you know, the ones where you break up and make up and do it all over again a few months later, are really common. If you haven't had the pleasure of going back to an ex once or twice, then you might not know how difficult it can be the break the cycle. It's been proven than on-off relationships can impact your mental health, so if you're considering getting back with an ex it might be worth figuring out whether in fact your relationship should be over for good. But, it's not always as simple as ripping off the plaster. Emotions and memories and histories are all involved, which makes cutting ties kind of complicated.
To help anyone trying to navigate the choppy waters of the on-again-off-again relationship, women are sharing their own experiences. They're detailing why their relationships were stuck in the cycle, and sharing what issues they faced.
1. "We broke up so many times I don’t remember the actual number. But every time we broke up he cried and 'made it up' to me. I was a sucker for it. He always squared up his act for a while, then went right back to being a douche. He was a major gaslighter and I ended up feeling like maybe I deserved it, and he was the best I was going to do. He always did things that made me uncomfortable but blamed me for being sensitive rather than respecting my wishes. I was fed up with it eventually." [via]
2. "[He wouldn't commit to me] and he dangled it over my head like a prize I was so close to getting... If I could be submissive enough and follow his rules then maybe I just might be rewarded with a commitment." [via]
3. "He didn't love me but needed the validation, and I thought I was being "loyal" by hanging around. Lots of heart ache later I finally grew a spine." [via]
4. "[My situation] is ongoing but I need to put a stop to it! He’s broken it off three times but pops back up all the time and it really messes with my head. I’m normally really good at cutting people out but for some reason this is a tricky thing for me to do. It’s obviously not right and logically I know that but... there’s this tiny, teeny tiny ember of hope that I just need to STOMP out." [via]
5. "He was confused and kept on leading me on. I always said that there’s always hope for our relationship. Until I realised it’s going nowhere he was just dragging me along. So many years wasted and pain. But it’s never too late for anyone to leave." [via]
6. "He was manipulative, I was naive. We kept arguing and sometimes we decided to put off our relationship. But then we realised how much we had in common and how we probably wouldn't find anyone as matching. But after the seventh breakup I decided to put a stop to it. It was not healthy for [either] of us. It's true I've never found someone who has so many things in common, but there's beauty in difference." [via]
7. "The sex was good. But that was literally it. Sexually, we were as close to perfectly compatible as it gets... but totally incompatible in literally every other aspect. We didn't even like to watch the same TV shows. Sex is a drug y'all." [via]
8. "After almost two years and five breakups, lucky number seven came along. Why did I go back? I’m stupidly optimistic. Also, when is was good, it was the best. Mostly because I am the type of person that when I screw up, I don’t do it again. So it stands to reason that everyone else is capable of the same thing. It’s not rocket science! All they have to do is think, 'That really hurt her, so I won’t do that cruel and unnecessary thing again'. Simple, right? Wrong. Reason I won’t go back again now? He did the same things over again. One he did thrice, the other was worse and he did it for a second time within three hours of us talking about it. That was the last straw. Even though he promised never again, he tried to gaslight me over the details." [via]
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