23 Things Men Could Be Doing Better In The Bedroom According To Women, And Honestly, I Couldn't Agree More

I recently asked women what men often get wrong in the bedroom, and believe me, the ladies had a lot to say. (Go off, queens).

From feeling like their preferences don't matter to wishing that more thought went into foreplay, women have some ~hot tips~ for guys out there who are trying to get down and dirty in the sheets (with consent, of course).

So let's hop into some of the most helpful answers from our community that will hopefully help guys get a leg (or two) up in the bedroom.

1."I hate when they try to distract themselves to 'last longer' (like thinking of unsexy things). Please stay engaged in the situation. And if the consequence is that you cum quickly, then it's okay! I don't want to be mindlessly humped just for the sake of a few minutes more. Those extra minutes are worthless when you're not 'with me.'"

2."They think that the 'faster' and 'harder' they do it, the faster we will cum. Um, NO!"

3."Men: you have all the information at your fingertips and you still struggle to find the clitoris, or what to do with it if you even find it. It's not a magic lamp. Guys — no amount of rubbing will summon a genie! Take your time, ask her what feels right, and don’t just dive in and start rubbing like you’re polishing a trophy. A little finesse goes a long way."

4."I know that this doesn't sound like a problem, but my partner over stimulates my clit and makes me cum too fast. He does it intentionally, and it makes me so over-stimulated that I can't continue. It kind of ruins the experience."

5."Men make the tragic mistake of thinking the stuff they see in porn is what women want or what works for achieving orgasm. News Flash: NOPE."

6."He would ask 'Did you finish?' after every pathetically mechanical session, which was always only about servicing his dick. I really had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, 'What do you think?'"

7."Being quiet. You want us to be loud, but then you don’t let any sound escape your mouth. That’s boring as hell, dude. Talk dirty to me. Make some noise. We like it, too."

8."They don't realize that foreplay is as mental as it is physical. They seem to have no idea that clitoral stimulation is important. We wear tampons, yet you don't see us orgasming randomly. It's not just about slamming your big boy up there!"

9."When a woman says 'Don't stop', it is clearly not a direction to go faster, harder, etc. This is a classic example of men saying, 'I wish women would just tell us what they want,' and then doing the exact opposite, we tell them."

10."They just move to the vagina and clit TOO FAST. Like, can't you just make out with me for a while first and get me revved up before we get to the main event? Sheesh."

—Anonymous from Kansas

11."Too many men think using lube is some sort of insult to their 'skills.' If she wants lube, use the lube."

12."Not spending enough time in licking, kissing, and caressing the neck, shoulders, arms, back, inner thighs, and all the areas other than the main points on the front."

13."When men grab your nipples and pull at them as if they are tuning a radio, it usually hurts and does nothing to turn me on."

14."They want you to go down on them, but they don't go down on you and don't kiss you enough."

—Anonymous from Buckinghamshire

15."I don't like when guys finger like they’re trying to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey."

16."Generally men seem to be 'in it' for themselves. It comes across to most women that men are mechanical about having sex. The saying goes 'Men have sex. Women make love.'"

—Anonymous from Ontario

17."Hygiene. You don't necessarily have to have a shower before hand, but it helps if your nether regions are clean and not smelling of waste products."

18."Not enough conversation beforehand. Consent is HUGE!! Talk about what you're into and what you're not. Talk about what turns you on."

"... Ask her about what she likes and dislikes. Never pressure her into doing something she isn’t ready for. Just because one partner liked it doesn’t mean everyone does. Keep the lines of communication open, and if you’re comfortable enough to share your body, you should be comfortable enough to talk about it."

—Anonymous from Canada

19."I hate it when men think they're fingering me, but they are literally just touching my labia. Like 'Boy take an anatomy lesson.' I usually just pretend to cum to make it stop."

20."If you are enjoying yourself, ACT LIKE IT. If you aren't, communicate what you want. Women have a hard time getting out of our own heads to enjoy the moment (which really helps us get to orgasm) and it's 100x more difficult if you aren't giving us any signs of the passion/pleasure you are experiencing."

21."Don’t just pretend down there. Be gentle. Be soft. Listen to how I’m responding. But get in there. I’ve seen you lick the spatula while making brownies. EAT IT."

—Justine from Boston

22."Men think French kissing is moving your tongue in circles around the other person's tongue. Women prefer sensual soft lip kissing, lips relaxed, with tongue involved in soft ways, not pushed into her mouth."

23."Men, don’t be afraid to use the slow burn. Take your time, and stimulate her in many ways… tongue, fingers, vibrators. You won’t be sorry!"

—Shan

24.And finally, "They don’t ever bother to make you wet beforehand. They just do it. Like ouch bro, that hurts!"

Ladies, what bedroom tips would you add to this list for guys? Let us know in the comments!

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.