Online dating red flags: Six types of people NOT to date

·4-min read
CR1YDK USA, California, Los Angeles, Happy senior couple sitting on sofa. Image shot 2012. Exact date unknown.  smiling; sofa; t
CR1YDK USA, California, Los Angeles, Happy senior couple sitting on sofa. Image shot 2012. Exact date unknown. smiling; sofa; t

keyboard with heart-key
keyboard with heart-key

Thanks to the internet, it's easier than ever to get back into the dating game. While many people find love online, there are some instances when you should walk away. If you meet any of these '"types" of people when online dating, think about moving on to the next profile...


See also: Dating in your 50s-plus? What NOT to ask on a first date

See also: Dating after divorce - dos and don'ts

1. They're a serial dater
If you've been on five or more dates and things seem to be going well, it's reasonable to expect your new beau to take their profile down from the site. And if your relationship has become physical, you definitely need to have the conversation. It may be that your new love interest has simply forgotten to take it down - but if their profile is still on the site a week after you raise the issue, it could be time to walk away.

Most dating sites have people who have been on there for years (or go with one site for six months before switching to another). For many, it's an easy way to hook up. Just because you're looking for something meaningful, not everyone is the same. Always judge a man or woman on how they act – not the deep and meaningful words on their profile.

2. They're hard to pin down
He sends you 20 flirty texts at 11pm every night, but you don't hear anything from him otherwise. Maybe he has been flat-out at work and goes to the gym every night – or maybe he's at home with his wife or girlfriend. If you notice a pattern of communication emerging, it's worth asking yourself how well you really know this person.

Likewise, if your date always cancels at the last-minute or never wants to meet up within a five-mile radius of her place, you have to wonder what she has to hide.

3. She's rude, mean or selfish
It's easy to project your ideals and hopes onto someone, particularly when you don't know them so well and they are showing you the very best version of themselves. While it's important not to judge too quickly and give people a chance (you won't agree on every topic or like all the same things) your values have to be in alignment.

If your date is pushy, rude to others in front of you, or acts selfishly – whether financially or never asking questions about you - just imagine how they will treat you later. Walk away and trust there's someone better out there.

4. He tries to move too fast
You are marvellous – but how can someone you've never met know that after just a few email exchanges? Beware of men and women who move too fast, and start making plans for the future when you're still in the "getting to know each other" phase.

Ask yourself whether you really do have lots in common, a mutual attraction, and shared values – or is this person just keen to have a relationship with someone (anyone) and you will do.

5. They're sketchy on the facts
There's a time to reveal different kinds of information in a relationship. While you would expect to know if someone has young children living at home before you meet, or at least on the first date, you wouldn't necessarily expect to know that they were made bankrupt last year or that they're currently living on their sister's sofa.

However, once you've been on three to five dates, you should know the main facts about a person's circumstances – if they only provide sketchy details about their work, living or family situation, think twice before you see them again.

6. You want completely different things
Your dream is to move closer to your grandchildren and live a quiet life in the country, and your date wants to spend their retirement travelling across the USA in a motorhome. There might be good will and attraction there, but if your life goals are completely opposite, it may be better to walk away now than face resentment, arguments, or disappointment later.