20 rubbish presents you can buy from your local garage on Christmas Day morning (if you're desperate)

1/20
Car freshner

You best hope there’s some Little Trees in stock, mate. It’s you’re only hope of looking like you actually put some thought into this crappy decision. [Photo: Little Trees]

2/20
A Rustlers burger

Get something for her she’d never get herself. [Photo: Rustlers]

3/20
Reusable cup

If you don’t drink you’ll die so essentially this cup is the gift of life. [Photo: hotline.co.uk]

4/20
LED candles

A nonperishable reminder of your excellent life choices. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

5/20
A bag of kindling

Tell her you’re going to buy and install a wood burning stove and this is just a precursor. [Photo: cedarwoodfules]

6/20
Reduced food items

Not just a cheap and perfectly edible Christmas dinner but the gift of time. Way more important than superficial stuff like home cooking. [Photo: Student Money Saver]

7/20
A selection of electrical goods

If you live somewhere posh like Surrey you might luck out with some up market electrical shiz. Does your nan need a drone? Never mind, she’s getting one now. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

8/20
Kitchen roll

Not the cheap stuff, the good stuff. Just one towel is enough to wipe away a Christmas worth of tears. [Photo: Cleaningsupplies4u]

9/20
Some paper cups from the Costa Express machine

Stack and tie with your shoelace et voila! A summertime picnic set. Something to look forward to, innit? [Photo: Costa]

10/20
Chocolate bars

Preferably ones with biscuit in to show care about their fibre intake. [Photo: keepingshop]

11/20
A lighter

Tell her she must keep it close to her bosom always as a reminder of the eternal flame that is your love. [Photo: ebay]

12/20
A grab bag of crisps

Don’t show up empty handed at the in-laws! Bring a grab bag for all to share. [Photo: Lizzie Hammond]

13/20
Extortionately priced bottled water

Show your willing to go the extra mile by spending triple the average price on a bottle of water. [Photo: Danone]

14/20
AA batteries

Batteries in classic double A. [Photo: Duracell]

15/20
A cornish pasty

This gift can be used months after the date of receipt. [Photo: Ginsters]

16/20
Novelty travel pillow

Not just for travelling, can be used on the sofa or sat on if you’ve got piles. Great for all ages really. [Photo: Pack My Case]

17/20
Character fleece blanket

Kids love a good fleece blanket to play with at Christmas. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

18/20
A pack of fags

Give the gift of cancer this Christmas. [Photo: Mr Capetown]

19/20
Phone case

If it doesn’t fit – no problem! Can be used upturned as a soap dish or to collect nut shells. [Photo: ebay]

20/20
USB charger

Or – OR novelty bottle stop!

Leaving your Christmas shopping till the actual day huh? You mad bad renegade. If you’re the type who decides at the eleventh hour you might give a tiny rat’s arse about giving gifts, your choices are pretty much limited to the petrol station. The absolute state of your life! Might as well embrace it.

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