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Tried & Tested:

I tried on the M&S dress everyone’s buying and can confirm it’s perfect for spring

20 rubbish presents you can buy from your local garage on Christmas Day morning (if you're desperate)

  • <p>You best hope there’s some Little Trees in stock, mate. It’s you’re only hope of looking like you actually put some thought into this crappy decision. [Photo: Little Trees] </p>
    1/20

    Car freshner

    You best hope there’s some Little Trees in stock, mate. It’s you’re only hope of looking like you actually put some thought into this crappy decision. [Photo: Little Trees]

  • <p>Get something for her she’d never get herself. [Photo: Rustlers] </p>
    2/20

    A Rustlers burger

    Get something for her she’d never get herself. [Photo: Rustlers]

  • <p>If you don’t drink you’ll die so essentially this cup is the gift of life. [Photo: hotline.co.uk] </p>
    3/20

    Reusable cup

    If you don’t drink you’ll die so essentially this cup is the gift of life. [Photo: hotline.co.uk]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>A nonperishable reminder of your excellent life choices. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
    4/20

    LED candles

    A nonperishable reminder of your excellent life choices. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

  • <p>Tell her you’re going to buy and install a wood burning stove and this is just a precursor. [Photo: cedarwoodfules] </p>
    5/20

    A bag of kindling

    Tell her you’re going to buy and install a wood burning stove and this is just a precursor. [Photo: cedarwoodfules]

  • <p>Not just a cheap and perfectly edible Christmas dinner but the gift of time. Way more important than superficial stuff like home cooking. [Photo: Student Money Saver] </p>
    6/20

    Reduced food items

    Not just a cheap and perfectly edible Christmas dinner but the gift of time. Way more important than superficial stuff like home cooking. [Photo: Student Money Saver]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>If you live somewhere posh like Surrey you might luck out with some up market electrical shiz. Does your nan need a drone? Never mind, she’s getting one now. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
    7/20

    A selection of electrical goods

    If you live somewhere posh like Surrey you might luck out with some up market electrical shiz. Does your nan need a drone? Never mind, she’s getting one now. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

  • <p>Not the cheap stuff, the good stuff. Just one towel is enough to wipe away a Christmas worth of tears. [Photo: Cleaningsupplies4u] </p>
    8/20

    Kitchen roll

    Not the cheap stuff, the good stuff. Just one towel is enough to wipe away a Christmas worth of tears. [Photo: Cleaningsupplies4u]

  • <p>Stack and tie with your shoelace et voila! A summertime picnic set. Something to look forward to, innit? [Photo: Costa] </p>
    9/20

    Some paper cups from the Costa Express machine

    Stack and tie with your shoelace et voila! A summertime picnic set. Something to look forward to, innit? [Photo: Costa]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>Preferably ones with biscuit in to show care about their fibre intake. [Photo: keepingshop] </p>
    10/20

    Chocolate bars

    Preferably ones with biscuit in to show care about their fibre intake. [Photo: keepingshop]

  • <p>Tell her she must keep it close to her bosom always as a reminder of the eternal flame that is your love. [Photo: ebay] </p>
    11/20

    A lighter

    Tell her she must keep it close to her bosom always as a reminder of the eternal flame that is your love. [Photo: ebay]

  • <p>Don’t show up empty handed at the in-laws! Bring a grab bag for all to share. [Photo: Lizzie Hammond] </p>
    12/20

    A grab bag of crisps

    Don’t show up empty handed at the in-laws! Bring a grab bag for all to share. [Photo: Lizzie Hammond]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>Show your willing to go the extra mile by spending triple the average price on a bottle of water. [Photo: Danone] </p>
    13/20

    Extortionately priced bottled water

    Show your willing to go the extra mile by spending triple the average price on a bottle of water. [Photo: Danone]

  • <p>Batteries in classic double A. [Photo: Duracell] </p>
    14/20

    AA batteries

    Batteries in classic double A. [Photo: Duracell]

  • <p>This gift can be used months after the date of receipt. [Photo: Ginsters] </p>
    15/20

    A cornish pasty

    This gift can be used months after the date of receipt. [Photo: Ginsters]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>Not just for travelling, can be used on the sofa or sat on if you’ve got piles. Great for all ages really. [Photo: Pack My Case] </p>
    16/20

    Novelty travel pillow

    Not just for travelling, can be used on the sofa or sat on if you’ve got piles. Great for all ages really. [Photo: Pack My Case]

  • <p>Kids love a good fleece blanket to play with at Christmas. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
    17/20

    Character fleece blanket

    Kids love a good fleece blanket to play with at Christmas. [Photo: Jasmine Jones]

  • <p>Give the gift of cancer this Christmas. [Photo: Mr Capetown] </p>
    18/20

    A pack of fags

    Give the gift of cancer this Christmas. [Photo: Mr Capetown]

  • Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

    Yahoo News is better in the app

    Keep up to speed at a glance with the Top 10 daily stories

  • <p>If it doesn’t fit – no problem! Can be used upturned as a soap dish or to collect nut shells. [Photo: ebay] </p>
    19/20

    Phone case

    If it doesn’t fit – no problem! Can be used upturned as a soap dish or to collect nut shells. [Photo: ebay]

  • <p>Or – OR novelty bottle stop! </p>
    20/20

    USB charger

    Or – OR novelty bottle stop!

<p>You best hope there’s some Little Trees in stock, mate. It’s you’re only hope of looking like you actually put some thought into this crappy decision. [Photo: Little Trees] </p>
<p>Get something for her she’d never get herself. [Photo: Rustlers] </p>
<p>If you don’t drink you’ll die so essentially this cup is the gift of life. [Photo: hotline.co.uk] </p>
<p>A nonperishable reminder of your excellent life choices. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
<p>Tell her you’re going to buy and install a wood burning stove and this is just a precursor. [Photo: cedarwoodfules] </p>
<p>Not just a cheap and perfectly edible Christmas dinner but the gift of time. Way more important than superficial stuff like home cooking. [Photo: Student Money Saver] </p>
<p>If you live somewhere posh like Surrey you might luck out with some up market electrical shiz. Does your nan need a drone? Never mind, she’s getting one now. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
<p>Not the cheap stuff, the good stuff. Just one towel is enough to wipe away a Christmas worth of tears. [Photo: Cleaningsupplies4u] </p>
<p>Stack and tie with your shoelace et voila! A summertime picnic set. Something to look forward to, innit? [Photo: Costa] </p>
<p>Preferably ones with biscuit in to show care about their fibre intake. [Photo: keepingshop] </p>
<p>Tell her she must keep it close to her bosom always as a reminder of the eternal flame that is your love. [Photo: ebay] </p>
<p>Don’t show up empty handed at the in-laws! Bring a grab bag for all to share. [Photo: Lizzie Hammond] </p>
<p>Show your willing to go the extra mile by spending triple the average price on a bottle of water. [Photo: Danone] </p>
<p>Batteries in classic double A. [Photo: Duracell] </p>
<p>This gift can be used months after the date of receipt. [Photo: Ginsters] </p>
<p>Not just for travelling, can be used on the sofa or sat on if you’ve got piles. Great for all ages really. [Photo: Pack My Case] </p>
<p>Kids love a good fleece blanket to play with at Christmas. [Photo: Jasmine Jones] </p>
<p>Give the gift of cancer this Christmas. [Photo: Mr Capetown] </p>
<p>If it doesn’t fit – no problem! Can be used upturned as a soap dish or to collect nut shells. [Photo: ebay] </p>
<p>Or – OR novelty bottle stop! </p>
Jasmine Jones

Leaving your Christmas shopping till the actual day huh? You mad bad renegade. If you’re the type who decides at the eleventh hour you might give a tiny rat’s arse about giving gifts, your choices are pretty much limited to the petrol station. The absolute state of your life! Might as well embrace it.

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