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These negging dating stories are horrifying but so damn relatable

From Cosmopolitan

Negging, if you're not otherwise acquainted with the term, is a manipulation method used by some people you date to make you feel inferior. Why? Because they think by putting you down, you'll work twice as hard to impress them. You know, when you're on a date and the person you're with makes such a subtle dig (aka a 'neg') and you're not sure whether it's a compliment, or really damn rude? Yep, that's negging - and it seems it's a bizarrely popular occurrence in dating.

Here, people share the worst ever negging stories. Take note so next time it happens to you, you can run a mile.

1. "I'd just met this guy, and we kinda hit it off and made tentative lunch plans. Then I said something, and he said, 'Oh, you're actually smart. I wouldn't have guessed it by looking at you'. We did not have lunch." [via]

Photo credit: FG Trade
Photo credit: FG Trade

2. "I was a teacher at the time, and this guy says, 'Oh, so you're just a teacher, I'm a software engineer...' Turns out he was actually an IT guy. Which is not the same." [via]

3. "When talking about my savings, he rolled his eyes and said, 'Haha savings, that's cute. What, do you have like, £10k in your little savings account or something?' Yes, yes I did have £10k saved up." [via]

4. "'You're darker skinned, but you're perfect in every way. Thing is I only date whiter girls. But I have no problem if we fuck every once in a while'. We went on one more date until I realised what a fucking jerkwad racist asshole he was..." [via]

5. "I don't really like redheads. I'll make an exception for you, though, because I like your boobs well enough to overlook your red hair'. Noped right out of there." [via]

6. "I once had a guy say to me, 'Wow, you’re so well-spoken and intelligent! I wasn’t expecting that'. I laughed in his face when he asked me out a few minutes later." [via]

7. "I am very well endowed, and he told me I 'looked good for a girl whose boobs are too big', and then started talking about how he prefers small ones." [via]

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

8. "I once had a guy lean across the table that he and his friends had crowded into, uninvited, and say to me, 'So, are you the token fat friend or something?' He later came up and started trying to grind against my arse on the dance floor. When I moved away and scowled, he went, 'Oh my God, I was just trying to be nice'." [via]

9. "'I don't like lipstick, you shouldn't wear it'. We had literally just met. Continued with, 'I'm just saying you should at least try a different shade'. Then proceeds with,'Do you wear makeup because you are insecure?'" [via]

Photo credit: nattrass - Getty Images
Photo credit: nattrass - Getty Images

10. "'I was stalking your Facebook profile, and don't take this personally, but you were so much prettier with longer hair'." [via]

11. "'"Your arse has potential, start squatting every night and thank me later'." [via]

12. "'You know, you're one of those girls that's good looking enough to have sex with regularly, but not the girl anyone would ever date long term'. Not going to lie, the pride took a hit." [via]

13."I’ve gotten a ton and it’s always hilarious when I call men out on it. My favourite was a guy I met through a school club who, while asking me on a date, said, 'I actually really like your body, even though you’re overweight.' And my second favourite was simply when a dude told me on Halloween that I looked like a 'sexy but fat Cinderella'." [via]

14. "I was naive and didn’t realise he was negging and baiting me into doing what he wanted. When we hooked up he actually said, 'wow you look way less frumpy than I thought you would'." [via]

Photo credit: Marko Rupena
Photo credit: Marko Rupena

15. "I was out having drinks with a friend, and there’s a guy there who’s a friend of hers. We talked for a bit, he’s friendly but not at all my type (wouldn’t even be friends with him) and all of the sudden he says, ‘I told your friend I’m usually not into big girls but I have to say I really like you’. OK thanks dildohead." [via]

16. "I was dating a guy who said, 'You're lucky I like freckles'. I LOVE my freckles and laughed in his face. Dumped him not much longer after that." [via]

17. "A few years ago, I matched with this guy on an app. His first message to me was that he thought that I was beautiful, but asked why I squint my eyes when I smile and that I’d enchant him more if I didn’t (I’m Asian so that’s fucked up). I tore that guy a new one for sure. He admitted the comment was a 'bit racist', but that I must be enjoying his company if I’m up chatting with him. Can’t fix dumb." [via]

18. "'You're not as heavy as you are in your photos'. 'I'm surprised you believe in God since you seem smart'. 'You're not like the typical girls I've met'. 'You have great style except for your glasses. They don't suit your face'. 'Cool, if you're infertile that means I don't have to use a condom'." [via]

Photo credit: Getty Images
Photo credit: Getty Images

19. "A guy approached me at a bar and we started chatting. Him: 'Have you read [some obscure philosophy book]'? Me: 'No, I haven't. What is it...' Him: 'Wow, you must be really ignorant.' I chuckled, shook my head, and walked away." [via]

20. "I was kind of seeing this guy, and I invited him to be my date for the opening night of my play. I’d just finished getting dressed up really fancy (I normally dress like an old man in a wood shop), and I said, 'What do you think?' And he looked me over and said, 'Your shoes don’t fit'." [via]

21. "Some guy came into my work (a gentleman's club') and was being rude to every single girl who approached him. He had a different neg for each one and was really aggressive in tone, like his whole goal was to make them storm off. The negative parts ranged from height to hair colour to tattoos. Mine was, 'You're really hot, but you have no personality'. I just kept giggling and saying, 'Is that so?' and nodding. He talked to me for 10 minutes, getting progressively irritated that I wasn't upset. Dummy ended up buying two dances from me." [via]

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