Advertisement

11 tips on avoiding awkward gift-giving scenarios this Christmas

[Photo: Flickr]
[Photo: Flickr]

When the festive season becomes the stresstive season it’s time to remember the true meaning of Christmas.

What is Christmas really about? Making your house look cheery? Turkey in the oven? Spending time with loved ones? Or financially crippling yourself buying other people stuff they probably don’t need and could definitely survive without.

The commercialisation of Christmas is inescapable. It’s hardly surprising most of us feel huge pressure to come up with the goods; sentimental adverts, seductive bill boards and decorated shop windows all scream ‘buy stuff NOW!’ the minute Halloween is over. But just how far should you be extending your goodwill this yuletide? It’s a slippery slope; start splashing out on your new boyfriend’s mum and she might come to expect it every year. And what about your own mother? You’ll have to match what she gets or you’ll never live with the guilt. And your siblings with the seven page wish list? Friends? Colleagues? Where does it end?

Here are some gift-buying tips to help ease your worries this festive season, but the bottom line is, nobody should be expecting anything from you. Forget gift giving ‘etiquette’, that nonsense was made up by a bunch of entitled twerps. Those who matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.

Children

If there’s one group that shouldn’t be left off the list it’s kids. You shouldn’t feel obliged to go beyond immediate family – children, siblings, nieces and nephews and godchildren if you have any. Let your partner sort out their nieces and nephews unless you have an agreement to go dutch. Children of friend’s can do one, but if that’s out of the question, consider grouping together with other parents and doing a secret Santa with a set budget in place. That way every child gets one nice gift rather than several kids getting a load of crap.

The wish list quandary

If you’re the defiant type who doesn’t like being told what to buy, you’ll probably hate wish lists. If you don’t have the time or inclination to go hunting for presents they’re an absolute God send. Where it gets awkward, is if you’re on a budget and you’re faced with expensive options. You should never feel obliged to buy from a wish list. If you’re financially squeezed, hunt for something within your price range. If you put thought into your choice and make it personal it’s sure to be warmly received.

Colleagues

If you work at one of those places that does secret santa you’ll probably have to suck it up. Otherwise don’t. Just don’t. It’s a horrifically lubed slope.

Your significant other

There’s nothing wrong with agreeing on a budget with your partner at Christmas, especially if one of you is more frivolous with their cash. It just gets awkward. Save extravagance for birthdays.

Your other half’s family

This can be delicate but is easily solvable; you sort your family, they sort theirs. Just say the presents are from both of you! If you’re visiting during the holidays, or even if you’re not, a bottle of wine and some chocolates or other yummy treats, are a lovely gesture and more than adequate.

Your other half’s friends

My mate’s having this very dilemma this Christmas. Her partner likes to shower his friends with gifts and this year asked her to go halves. She genuinely doesn’t know what to do; while privately she doesn’t want in on the arrangement, she also doesn’t want to be tight. Personally, I think it’s a bit much. If she’s decided not to indulge her own friends why should she his? If it’s something you fundamentally disagree with you’re well within your rights to politely decline. Nobody should be telling you what to do with your finances and your partner definitely shouldn’t be leaving you feeling inadequate for your choices.

Your sibling’s parters

Sibling’s partners are a straight up no unless their married or in an LTR. Why waste your money on someone who might not be around next year? You can usually get away with not buying gifts if they’re having Christmas elsewhere, however if they’re in your home for the big day a little something to open is the kind thing to do.

Your mum/dad’s partner

Being the step-parent can be a challenging role, especially at Christmas. A small gift to show your appreciation and acceptance can have a huge impact on their happiness. It doesn’t have to be extravagant; some home made edibles or crafts are fine. The important message in this scenario is the significance of the gesture.

Your mate’s partner

If you’re used to giving particular friends gifts every year and they’ve partnered up and left you feeling unsure over what to do, just get something for them both. It’s still a loving gesture.

When you get a surprise gift

Receiving a gift out of the blue can be awkward but don’t panic! There’s no point feeling guilty over something you’ve no control over. Instead, thank them, say you’re touched by the unexpected gesture and leave it at that. Don’t then rush out to buy a consolation prize because that’s exactly what it’ll look like. If you feel like reciprocating the gesture you can send a card thanking them for the gift along with some chocolate or wine. Jobs a good’un!

Don’t feel pressured to match spending

Just because someone buys you an expensive gift doesn’t mean you have to match the value pound for pound. The act of giving should be in the thoughtfulness of the gesture not the extravagance of it. If you’re working to match spending because you feel pressured then the meaning is lost. It’s their call if they want to spend loads. If you can’t afford it, choose something from the heart, it’ll be worth just as much.