The Royal Baby is nearly here and as Kate Middleton and Prince William get ready to welcome their little one, it's time for us to prepare to put down those binoculars – BumpWatch 2013 has almost come to an end.
In a mere matter of hours, the What Kate Wore Next mania that has gripped us ever since the Royal engagement shall give way to a new national obsession: the arrival of Baby Cambridge.
Not since the announcement of Sharon Osborne’s return to X Factor has anything been so feverishly anticipated. Will it be a boy or a girl? What will it be called? Where will it go to school? Will Kate breastfeed?
Forget CIA whistleblowers and Syria; Married Woman Gets Pregnant and Is About To Give Birth - now that’s a story.
Here at Yahoo HQ!, we’ve been imaging how life for the newest addition to the House of Windsor will differ from other newborns.
1) The Royal Baby’s birth will be announced not on Twitter or WhatsApp but instead on a scroll outside the palace. But regardless, it will definitely trend on, if not crash, Twitter.
2) Disposable nappies shall be banned from the Palace – nothing that has touched the Royal bottom can possibly be discarded. Plus, Charles has his green credentials to think about. No, nappies will be made of the finest Egyptian cotton, monogrammed and handspun in gold threads.
3) Rihanna, Kanye or Ronaldo are names unlikely to be uttered by the Archbishop of Canterbury during the baptism. It’s a good job traditional names are back in.
4) His or her first steps will be watched on YouTube by millions of people. Talk about performance anxiety.
5) Relatively speaking, “Daddy, I want a pony” is a fairly modest request.
6) Everyone has an embarrassing relative in the family, but it’s probably safe to assume the half population of Britain hasn’t seen pictures of your uncle proudly displaying his tackle. And has your auntie a Facebook page devoted to her posterior? One word: therapy.
7) No spaghetti hoops and turkey twizzlers for Baby Cambridge, and none of this quinoa business either – Royals don’t do trendy grains. When it comes to weaning time he shall feast on venison (shot by Daddy, naturally) and Duchy Originals.
8) Baby Cambridge will be king or queen of the play box. This child stands to inherit two actual castles. And a palace. AND his or her great granny has her own parliament. Beat that, Tarquin!
9) Other babies probably won’t have genuine sterling currency coins minted to celebrate their birth.
10) He or she will have the winning hand when it comes to resolving any sibling spats. “Are you the future heir to the throne? Thought not. I get to be Simon, you’re Louis.
Ah, Baby C, how much we’ve got to look forward to. Watch this space for all the latest developments as we prepare for RB Day.