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10 signs you can't trust your best friend with your man

Judi James
Yahoo Lifestyle
18 July 2013

Kristen Stewart was apparently left reeling when she discovered Robert Pattinson had reportedly been stepping out with her bessie mate Riley Keogh.

And who can blame her too, when it came just weeks after he was linked to another of K-Stew's confidantes, Katy Perry.

But Kristen's post break up situation is by no means unusual. With many of us finding exes developing a close relationship with friends once the love has gone, it begs the question - should you ever trust your best mate with your man?

[Robert Pattinson tries to leave Kristen Stewart drama behind him in Toronto]

[QUIZ: What does your laugh say about you?]
[Kelly Osbourne says she and fiance Matthew Mosshart are 'co-dependent' - is that a good thing for your relationship?]


For many women this would be the ultimate betrayal, only made worse if the friend actually cheats with your guy while you’re still in the relationship.

After all, guys come and go but a friend should be there forever. Friendships are supposed to be all about trust, but at what stage should you stop trusting implicitly and start becoming cautious?

How far should their flirting be allowed go before it stops being ‘fun' and at what stage should alarm bells start ringing?

10 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER TRUST YOUR BEST FRIEND WITH YOUR MAN:

• Did you meet your guy when you were with your best friend? If so it might have been an either/or situation for him.  He might have spent months since wondering if he made the right choice, so would it really be so harmful if he just checked the one time?

• Did they hate one another at first? It’s common for a bessie to be predatory about your new man as she might fear she’s losing you to an interloper. Did you spend ages getting them to like one another? Emotions often swing from one extreme to another, meaning that hatred might easily convert to longing or lust. She might even be unwittingly trying to split you up so that she can have you back as a full-time friend.


• Are you and your best friend like peas in a pod? He loves you so what’s not to like about her?

• Were you both competitive as kids? Competitive relationships often stay competitive even when you’re adults and far too mature to show it.

•  If you’ve split with your guy and it’s been vicious he might see that dating your mate is one of the best ways to either hurt you back or to stay close to you. She might have seen him in a bid to try to help mend your relationship, but once she discovers there’s no going back will she really drop him like a hot potato? Or might she just be tempted by his ‘poor me’ charm?

• Relationships with your best friend’s man can often feel a little awkward. You’re both very close to the same girl but often edging around one another physically. It’s easy to use some joke flirting to bridge that gap and sometimes one or both forget when to stop.

• If she’s single she might seem like you back in your free spirit singleton days which could be the you he fell in love with.

• Once you’ve split it might be your best mate he contacts and whose shoulder he cries on. If she’s ever had a hard time with you she might just empathise more with him.

•  It’s easy because they already know one another. If you watch TOWIE you’ll know all about fishing in a very small pond and where it takes you.

• They already have a lot in common, namely you!

10 WAYS TO SPOT WHEN THE FLIRTING IS GOING TOO FAR:

•  When they start to develop their own tie-signs, i.e. small glances or in-jokes that you’re not privy to. These signals might be slight but they suggest intellectual intimacy that could be dangerous if you’re not included.

•  When she or he change their state when the other one is around. Does she get louder or more giggly? Does he suddenly act embarrassed at your PDAs?

•  When one of them does the eye-flick to the other. This is a giveaway flirt gesture that should always signal danger. He’ll look her in the eye to talk and his eyes will flick down to her mouth. One of the most subtle but overt flirt signals around.

•  When he watches her too long as she disappears off to the loo while you’re out.

•  If they seem to be mirroring one another’s body language without trying.

•  If they play-fight. This kind of jolly rough house joshing is often testing the parameters in terms of touch.

•  When he takes her out for a drink because you’re working late. Again.

•  When she pops round a lot when you’re working late. Again.

•  When she starts taking his side when she talks to you, suggesting he’s been offloading to her.

Can you trust your best friend with your man? Tell us over on Twitter, now.

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